Beach Boys at the Beach

Our second day at the beach was met with clouds and only a slight amount of warmth blowing around on the beach. However, this deterred us none, because we were preparing ourselves for the evening. Brace yourself - we had seats to see the Beach Boys at the Ocean City Convention Center. Now - really brace yourself. Guest drummer - John Stamos.

I took my daughter as the wife needed to stay with the baby. I doubt an 11 month old would dig loud music. I also went with my MIL, my SIL and her husband and daughter (my niece). If it were not for my daughter I would have initially thought that I was the youngest person in the building. I have never seen so many pot-bellied 60 year-old guys with Hawaiian shirts in my entire life. I know I stuck out like a sore thumb. I donned my yellow Polo shirt. I could hear them whispering oh-so-not-discretely, "Look at that whipper-snapper. Thinks he can come here in a Polo shirt! What's with kids these days? Where's his Hawaiian shirt?"

The concert started around 8pm, just after Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune ended. It was perfect timing. Catch the all-you-can-eat early-bird-special at the smorgasbord, run home, put on your Hawaiian shirt, catch your 2 favorite shows, and head off to the Beach Boys.

Since we were only 2 blocks away we walked to the Convention Center. However, most of the grandpa's and grandma's drove to the Convention Center in their Escalades and Lexus RX's with the Go Green and 1/20/09 bumper stickers (Bush's last day in office). And don't get in their way. Did you know that old people in expensive SUV's have the right-of-way over pedestrians. Several of them told me so. "Get out of the way, you faggot!" It must be my Polo shirt. Don't come between an old man in his leather-seated SUV and a parking spot. He'll put you in your place.

We finally got inside and made our way in. Signs everywhere indicated that no recording devises are allowed, no exceptions. So my niece and I took our cameras. Three old ladies were doing the security check at the door. They looked in purses. I had my camera bulging in my front pocket. "Is that a camera?" "No, it's an IED." "Oh, okay, go on in. Have fun!"

Luckily, my SIL got seats on the bleachers in the back rather than on the floor. Since the Van Halen concert, I vowed never to sit on the floor again. At only 16 inches tall, I can't see over anything, let alone a 60 year old fat guy in a Hawaiian shirt. The Director of Storm Water Management came out and introduced the band. Unlike most concerts that I've been to, they walked out onto the stage waving rather than hiding behind some big black curtain that flashes down and the band begins playing. The Beach Boys now only consist of Mike Love and Burce Johnston.

Mike Love, the tall one with a hat and a Hawaiian shirt introduced the members of the band, including Bruce Johnston, the short guy with a hat and a Hawaiian shirt. Finally he introduces John Stamos. In anticipation of his introduction a gaggle of twenty-somethings that grew up on Full House yelled out, "We love you Uncle Jesse!!!", much to delight and laughter of the crowd. He did his little smile and wave and jumped on the drums. The first song they banged out was "California Girls".

The original Beach Boys really didn't do much singing. Mike Lowe just played the tambourine and Bruce Johnston played the keyboards. A much younger member did most of the singing, and surprisingly, he sounded just like the old Beach Boys. Later in the set, Mike Love is having a conversation with the band to the crowd and he mentions that the next song was written in 1963. Stamos jumps up and says, "The same year I was born!" Some laughter ensued, but Lowe, playing into the gag starts singing a single note, then stops. He turns to the crowd and says, "You know, I could hit that note a lot better when I was dating John's mother." Ha-Ha!!! Stamos seemed somewhat embarrassed, though I'm sure they play that routine at every concert. But it was funny!

Songs sung included Help Me Rhonda, 409, Little Duece Coupe, Surfin' USA, Surfin' Safari, Surfer Girl, Wouldn't It Be Nice?, Sloop John B, Summertime Blues, Fun, Fun, Fun, Don't Worry Baby, I Get Around, Kokomo, and Good Vibrations (which included the hallucinogenic video on the screen). At one point Love is talking the crowd and says the next song is the most patriotic song ever written. My daughter says to me, "It's going to be Be True To Your School". I look at her likes she's nuts, which she is. I ask her why, and she shrugs her shoulders. Love keeps on talking. He said that we would think it's Surfin' USA, but that's a good second choice. Then they start playing - Be True To Your School. Okay, maybe my daughter isn't so crazy. She thinks a lot differently than the rest of the world. Perhaps she's some evil genius.

Anyway, the concert ends with Kokomo and we all file out. I try snapping pictures of Danielle, this big busted girl with a really low-cut dress on that's dancing around in front of us hugging older men in Hawaiian shirts. Damn, I wish I had a Hawaiian shirt. Unfortunately, just holding my camera at my side, I only get a picture of the back of the seat in front of me. However, the flash goes off and it gets her attention and I'm clearly looking at her and her boobs. She stares at me with suspicion. I guess I'm not getting that second chance photo.

We finally make it out of the building and start walking through the parking lot. This time I find out that old men in Hawaiian shirts driving overpriced SUV's have the right-of-way when they are racing up to the red lights. "Get out of the way you moron!" Is my Polo shirt on backwards now???