I Gots Needs ...

I've seen this done a few places, most recently by Jeff and Kimmie. I didn't think I would do it too, but I was totally bored out of my mind looking for something to do thought I would just try it to see what came up.

All you do is go to Google and then type in your name and then "needs" and then search those words. Then you tell everyone what Google says you need. It turned out to be kinda humorous so I decided to post it.

"Jay needs ...

1. to go home." .... Really? I am home and I keep thinking it's the last place I need to be.

2. snow." ... Well a cherry snocone would be nice. I don't know about getting a lot of snow though. I don't like to drive in it.

3. to be baptized." .... This may come as a shock to some of you who probably think I'm a total heathen on the fast track to eternal damnation, but I have been baptized. Way back in the day though. Does that have to be updated or are you good to go after one time?

4. to shit." ... I usually take a morning dump and then a second one late in the afternoon. I'm on a schedule and prefer not to deviate from it. Unless I have Taco Bell for lunch. Then, it's no longer up to me.

5. all your numbers." ... Ok ladies! Send all your numbers to me. You may send any or all of the following: Phone numbers, bra sizes, checking account, Visa cards, Debit cards and PIN numbers.

6. sharpen his sarcasm." .. Well I promise to work on it. I know it's a bit weak.

7. an intern." ... Any applicants? The job doesn't pay well, but the fringe benefits are outstanding.

8. to drop 100 K." ... Yeah, it would be nice to have 100 K to drop. Or maybe they really meant 100 el bees.

9. to go!" ... I have a feeling a number of people actually feel this way. But to go where? Probably someplace unpleasant.

10. his arse whipped." .. For free? Cause they usually charge extra for the kinky stuff.


Okay, that was boring as hell kind fun, so I thought I would do it again using my real name.


“Jason needs ....


1. to SHUT UP!” I wonder how many people out there have been wanting to tell me to do this for a while now. HA! To bad!

2. A helmet.” Oh I have a helmet. A damn sexy helmet!


3. a girlfriend.” Applications are accepted 24 hours a day, seven days a week at my email address.

4. help.” Yes, but is anyone really qualified to provide that kind of help?

5. some pesos.” Lots and lots of them too. I’ll need them when I run off to Mexico to live. I plan on moving there right before McCain takes office and finishes driving our economy over the cliff resulting in world markets crashing which will cause anarchy and social upheaval all over the world. Except in Mexico where things never change all that much.

6. his own show.” A TV show? A radio show? I don’t know what that show would be about though or if anyone would actually listen or watch.

7. to wake up about his BFF!” Why? Is my imaginary friend stabbing me in the back?

8. to put his foot down.” Yeah, and I would probably step right in to a pile of dog shit when I do it, too.

9. a good slapping.” Not into the rough stuff babe.

10. cheering up.” What fun activity did you have in mind??

11. a hair cut.” Actually I do need another hair cut. You know, for a straight guy I sure do talk about my hair a lot.

12. love.” Awwww. Well we all need a little love every once in a while I guess.