"baby, i cannot breathe...asthma attack...i'm feeling very cold...i really cannot breathe...baby,i hope i can make it through this night...i'm feeling really bad...like don't know if i can make it through the night...baby, i love you very much...i really love you really really really much...baby...i love u..."
i got off my bed the moment i read the msg. i remember reading over and over again to make sure that i was not dreaming, or reading the wrong msg. called his cell phone immediately, and it was the first time the dial tone seems like a million years. each dial tone increased my heart rate even more..
called a few times but no one picked up, i began to panic and started to cry. scary thoughts clouded my mind. thoughts like, 'is he in the hospital now?', 'does his friends realise his asthma attack?', 'did something bad happen till no one has time to up my call?', 'or is he suffering alone while the rest are still ignorant of what's going on, and still drinking?'. it was the first time i felt so fearful, helpless and lost. continued to call his phone many times but still, no one picked them up.
i prayed real hard that everything would be ok. it was the most sincere and desperate prayer i'd ever made. called freddy at last, and after many tries, he picked up and told me that boon was sleeping, and yes he did have a bad asthma attack, but he was resting at that moment. shortly after that, boon sent me this msg at 4.25am.
"Baby, if you msg me tmr and i don't reply, don't worry k? i believe i'll be sleeping..i just threw up and i'm feeling better..so don't worry k? love you baby.."
at that moment, i felt a huge sense of relief and hope. gosh, seriously, that first msg scared the hell outta me. it sounded like one goodbye msg and he has never sent that kinda msg to me ever. did wonder for a second if he was playing a prank or somethin. but usually if not for april fools day, he wouldn't play a trick like that on me and scare me on purpose, and that was why i feared for the worst.
and today, when baby told me that he was having bad asthma attack again, i freaked. i was extremely worried. he had to drive all the way from Terengganu back to PJ from work and he has even seen a doc but still feeling miserable.
it is at times like this when i hope that i know a thing or two more about asthma and it's prevention and cures. i'm feeling really helpless..up till now. he has just seen a family doc, and because he has had so many puffs today that he can't afford anymore. so the only way out is by having steriods.
God, i'm so worried. i pray that You'll help him to breathe easy and better even now, Lord. i vow to keep my future house squeeky clean without any evidence of dust so that there will be no chance of him getting asthma from home. God, please help him i pray.
love, careen.
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