Breaking the Habit

Last night I decided to cut my habit. No, not the one with parental controls on the Internet. I'm talking the Percocet habit. I've been on the drug for a week and figured it was time to come down from my high. Besides, my dealer from the Baltimore City Council refuses to sell me any more dime bags on the good side of North Avenue.

I got to the point where I was taking a pill every 4-5 hours, which is like, what 5-6 per day? My prescription would run out soon and I wanted to see if I could deal with the pain. I mean seriously, I'm used to pain. I dated cheerleaders in high school.

So my last popped pill was yesterday at dinner. I decided to see if I could sleep through the night without a pill. Plus - I thought the crazy-ass dreams may also be a result of the narcotics.

I made it through the night and didn't feel too bad. However, by 11am I today I was really starting to feel like crap. I didn't even know if I could make it through the French Connection, no not the heroin racket out of Marseilles, but the movie staring Gene Hackman.

I got through the movie, made myself a grilled cheese sandwich with bacon...hmmm....bacon! I then got on the phone and decided to call into a meeting. There was a meeting to kick off a new project at American Amalgamated Corrugated Conglomerates of America and I thought it would be good to be on the call. I dialed in at 12:58, wanting to be a couple of minute early to spare myself. You see, when you dial into a conference call it identifies you. "Now joining, 'Eludius'". Then I'd hear all that crap. Feeling better? Take it easy. Get plenty of rest. You'll be back on your feet in no time. Shut the hell up!

So I sat on the call with no one for 10 minutes. No one dialed in. I'm there all by myself. In silence. Awesome. So I hung up and dialed up into my Netflix movie, My Best Friend's Girlfriend, starring Dane Cook, the closet homosexual comedian. Unfortunately, I didn't finish the movie before the babies woke up and I had to put on something that my wife deemed appropriate - like gay guys redecorating their apartment on HGTV.

It's now after dinner. I still feel like crap. My wife tells me that my body is going through drug withdrawal. That's right. Cold turkey. I feel slightly nauseous, overall achiness, VERY irritable (and you better shut up!), and an overall blah feeling. Oh, yes, my incision hurts like cuss. I took a couple of Advil about an hour ago, but that seems to be having the same affect as a Hershey bar.

But I can cut this habit. I want to. I don't need those drugs. I want to go back to who I was before. I can't let this habit run my life. Plus, I could really go for a cold beer right now.

And in case you were wondering, here are the movies I have watched since last Thursday:

Wait Until Dark
Pineapple Express
What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
Head of State
Futurama: Bender's Game
Key Largo
Cape Fear
War and Peace
Blazing Saddles
How the West Was Won
The Jerk
The French Connection
My Best Friend's Girlfriend*

* This movie will be done tonight.