Fat, Drunk and Stupid ...

So this week’s words in Kay’s Seven Deadly Sins meme is “Gluttony.”


This is a pretty tough one for me to discuss. As you have probably noticed, I have a bit of a weight problem. And, if you’ve been reading you also know that I decided to use Lent as yet another way of dealing with my problem with food. I call it. “Junkless for Jesus™.”

I’ve tried eliminating the junk food in the past, and never been totally (or even remotely) successful at. But, this time I have the power of Jesus working with me. So, that should make a big difference right there.

Now I know that many of you think that I’m an Atheist or some kind of Godless heathen or whatever. That’s not true. Just because I’m not standing in the front row of some mega-church on Sunday mornings with my hands in the air and vacant, glazed-over look in my eyes screaming “AMEN!” while some greedy, fat slob who makes more money that most CEO’s spews intolerance and hatred, does NOT mean that the J-Dude and I aren’t boys. Cause we are.

In fact, I have it on good authority that Jesus is NOT happy with the John Hagee’s and Rick Warren’s of the world. I’m just sayin’.



But, we’re talking about me and one of my most serious character flaws here. Not people with no character at all.

Okay, this might come as a bit of s surprise to you guys, but I’m not exactly the most happy-go-lucky guy around. No, really. I know it’s hard to believe. In fact, when I started this blog, I debated with myself about whether or not I should go with “Miserable Bastard” instead of “Cynical.” In the end I chose Cynical because I didn’t think it reflected as badly on me.

Junk food has always been a problem for me. Chips, cookies, candy bars, fast food etc. Any and all of it. And not just a little bit either. I’m talking like sit down and watch a football game and eat practically a whole bag of Doritos. And then that night order a pizza for dinner.

Obviously this is driven by a number of different things. Boredom, loneliness, anger, lack of self-control and whatever else. And then of course there is the guilt and self-loathing that came after a day of eating like that. Which leads to the inevitable lying in bed staring at the ceiling thinking that it would just be for the best if I would fall asleep and not wake up. (Which is a totally different feeling from being suicidal.) Of course, the intensity of all this has varied throughout the years. Sometimes it’s worse than others.

The amazing thing about this is that the food isn’t all that good. In fact, most fast food is actually tastes disgusting. Well, except Dominos, that’s freaking delicious. And, oh man, when I lived in San Antonio, Taco Cabana! Burritos from that place? Fucking heaven! But seriously, 99% of all that junk food and fast food is nasty.

So, that brings us to my decision to follow Matt-Man’s lead and Sacrifice for the Savior. I decided to give up all junk food for Lent. So, here we are two and a half weeks or so into it and since I’m not Catholic I figured I should do my confession here.

*Lips quivering. Tears streaming.* I have sinned against you Lord. In the period known as Lent, where I pledged to go Junkless for Jesus™ I have, on one two occasions had a slice of chocolate ice cream pie for dessert. And on another occasion I had two dunkin sticks (donuts) from Wal-Mart. And of course on my birthday I had a Butterfinger and some B-Day cake, but birthdays are exempted from Lent, so that doesn’t really count. I also had some Lemon Heads, but they ARE fat-free, so that minimized my guilt in that instance.

So there ya go. I have indeed cheated a couple of times. I do feel bad about it, but at the same time, at least I didn’t go whole hog and have chips, and Snickers bars, and a whole tub of ice cream or a large all-meat pizza. Not trying to minimize the fact that I have fallen short, but I’m just sayin’ it could have been so much worse. Of course it’s not over either. In fact, we’re not even half way through this. So, I have to stray strong.

Actually, it hasn’t been all that bad. I mostly have trouble in the late afternoon and at night about an hour after dinner. And of course weekend afternoons are times when I’m looking around wondering if there is anything to snack on.

But, I have also noticed some immediate positive affects. I do feel better. Physically and mentally. So, there is that.

Now don’t get me wrong. When this is over I’m not going to be eating tofu burgers with a side of soy chips and then grabbing a small bag of granola and nuts for a snack later on. But, I am hoping that the positive side to doing away with the junk food will be more powerful than the comfort it brings.

Thanks for your support and may the spiritual being of your choice bless you.