The Rejected List ...

Okay, so I got some interesting nominations for my new Celebrity Fantasy Girlfriend.™ And, to be honest, some not so interesting nominations too. So, I decided that today’s post would be the ones I’m rejecting. Then tomorrow I’ll come back with the nominees who have been accepted and will be taken into consideration. Then on Monday I’ll post a few other accepted nominees along with my own nominees that nobody else thought of.

So, here we go with the rejected list...


1. Miley Cyrus, nominated by Ms. Undecided. Okay, so I think she was joking about this one since Miley is only like 16. I hope she was. I mean I’m not a total perv. Although I will say that the more people bitch and whine about Miley, the more I kind of like her. Anyone who pisses so many people off and makes so many people gripe is going to be somebody I like.

2. Heidi Montag, also nominated by Ms. Undecided. Another joke I hope. Heidi is shallow, self-centered and stupid. She the second biggest D-bag in the world just behind her husband. Even if she does occasionally re-tweet me.

3. Casey Anthony, nominated by Matt-Man. Good job by Matt to come up with someone completely out of left field here. And, while I appreciate her efforts to make sure that I wouldn’t have to worry about becoming a daddy instantly, she’s an Ohio State fan. That’s a deal breaker.

4. Sora Aoi, nominated by Grant. I would have her on my “accepted” list, but I’m pretty sure Grant has the hots for her. And I just couldn’t possibly compete with him, so I’ll just try to save face by rejecting her here.

5. Jessica Capshaw, nominated by Lu. I appreciate the outside of the box thinking here, going for a lesser known chick. But, despite her obvious hawtness and talent, I had to reject Jessica.

6. Megan Fox, nominated by ETW. I don’t even think Megan is real. I think she’s just a computer generated figment of our imagination. But, mostly I have to reject her because just too many people go on and on about how gorgeous she is. Which means I get tired of her and don’t care. Same thing happened with Angelina Jolie.

7. Golfing Girls, nominated by Mike. Not sure exactly which LPGA member he was talking about, but I decided to just reject all of them.

8. Katie Holmes, nominated by Scott. Now, I have to give Scott some special credit for creativity here. He did come up with a rather brilliant scheme. And any plan that leaves Tom Cruise broken and humiliated is definitely worth looking into. But, in the end, Scott would get rich and I would be stuck with the snot-nosed kid Suri and be held responsible for unleashing Katie Holmes back onto the movie viewing public. I just can’t go along with that.

9. Ashley Judd, nominated by Jenn. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Ashley. I love everything about her. But, she’s married to a race car driver and there’s just no way I can compete with that. Plus she has some very crazy family members and who needs to put up with that?

10. Contessa Brewer, nominated by Malcolm. Nothing really particularly bad about Contessa, but there’s nothing all that exceptional about her either. She’s okay, just didn’t make the cut.

11. January Jones, nominated by Bond. Now I know that a lot of men don’t like tall, lean, long legged blue-eyed blonds, but I kind of do. But, I don’t think I can get past what a terrible mother Betty Draper is. And all that smoking. Yucky.

12. Sandra Bullock, nominated by Marsha. Marsha called Sandra a “more mature” version of Anne Hathaway. By “more mature” I think she meant “OLD.” Besides, I’m pretty sure I don’t want to get on Jesse James’ bad side.

13. Anne Heche, nominated by We’re Doomed. Yes, we are doomed.

14. Gina Gershon, nominated by Bilbo. I love Gina, but rumor has it that she banged Bill Clinton. Can’t compete with Bill.

15. Taylor Swift, nominated via e-mail. Taylor is just too perfect. And way too much of a goody-goody for me.