Sunday, November 15, 2009

The Finals ....

Okay, I've posted the rejected and accepted lists so I guess that means that today is the day I post the finalists and the winner of my new Celebrity Fantasy Girlfriend™ competition. The winner will be notified via email so that she can quickly get her lawyers to send me a restraining order that I can frame and put on my wall.

Before I get to the finalists, I have to mention that Reb nominated Stana Katic. I was torn as to which list to put Stana and in the end kind of just left her out by accident. But, I do believe she would go on the accepted list.

Okay, on with the finalists...

1. Ami Tokito:
Photobucket

I know you saying "Wha? Where did she come from?" See, Grant decided to take Yuri Ebihara back cause he was already missing her and said I could have Ami Tokito. This was a fair trade as I do have a preference for Ami over Ebi-chan. So it's a win-win for everyone involved except the women.

2. Penelope Cruz:
Photobucket

Yeah, you knew there was going to be a Hispanic/Latina/Spanish chick on the list. And the bonus of being Penelope's boyfriend is that you get to spend some time around her sister Monica who is pretty freaking fabulous herself:
Photobucket

3. Natalie Portman:
Photobucket

The only people who elicit more bitching and whining from women when I mention or post about them than Natalie are Asian chicks. I think that's kind of funny. I think Natalie rocks. She's cute, smart and talented.

4. Scarlett Johansson:
Photobucket

Yeah, she's pretty freaking gorgeous. I bet you're surprised to see a blond on the list. Well that's what's so awesome about me. I have varied interests.

5. Emmanuelle Chirqui:
Photobucket

Jeeezus this chick is beautiful. I really don't know that much about her other than she seems pretty nice, has exotic looks and spectacular legs. What else could you ask for. And BTW, I nominated her myself. ;-)



So, you are probably asking "Who's the winner?" Well, that's a good question. The answer is .... uh ... all of them?

Honestly I can't really decide. Hell, even everyone on the rejected list is actually more than acceptable. In fact, I'm kind of surprised that nobody pointed out that my "rejected" list is full of women who wouldn't even give a schmuck like me the time of day. Except for Heidi Montag, of course. She's pathetic.

Anyway, the fact of the matter is that I'm not good at commitment or making decisions. The second I decide to go with Scarlett Johansson, I'll tune into Telemundo and completely forget about blonds with spectacular racks. Or maybe I'll be flipping the channels and see Eva Longoria in her skivvies on "Desperate Housewives." Or I'll check out some gossip sites on the net and see pics of Rachel Bilson in a bikini. Or I'll see Carrie Underwood perform at the CMAs. And when any of those things happen, I'll be either dumping my fantasy girlfriend or at least cheating on her.

So, I think it's best to just be honest with all the celebrity babes out there and let them know that I just can't be faithful to them. I'm sure they appreciate my honesty.

Sure, it would be nice to have like a real life girlfriend. But, real life women tend to have expectations and shit like that. I hate that. It's so unfair. So, it's best that I just stick with the fantasy girlfriends for now.

No comments:

Post a Comment