A Few Words With You....

First, everyone go over and wish my friend Real Live Lesbian a Happy Birthday! Maybe Skyler’s Dad and I should have launched our blog coup today? Oh well, I’ll just have to post a babe pic for her here instead…


Happy Birthday Real Live Lesbian!



So, I have this ridiculous cold thing going on. Hacking, coughing, sneezing, snot running like a wild river towards the ocean. My head feels HUGE and I find myself starting to do something and then like two minutes later still just staring in a daze and not remembering what I was going to do. But, thanks to the potentially lethal combination of NyQuil, Benadryl, Sudafed, Halls cough drops and maybe a hit or two of Scotch and/or tequila, I think I'm going to survive. Barely.

You know, it sure seems like it wasn't all that long ago that I could shake off these colds no problem. I would just take something and get a decent night's sleep and I'd be fine. Now? It kicks my ass for three or four days. This getting older shit has got to stop. I'm gonna go online and research some of these "Stop the Aging Process" systems and try a couple of them out. I'll let you know how it works. Assuming I live through it.



Five Words…


Okay so there’s this thing out there called the Friday 5 or something like that. And it apparently spawned this five word meme, where somebody give you five words and you just write out your stream of consciousness thoughts about that word or something like that. I resisted it when Kcinnova and Scarlet did it, but I finally caved in cause a man can only hold out for so long, and told Karen to hit me with five words. So, here they are.

Tattoo: I’ve often considered getting a tattoo, but I don’t know. I have no idea what I would get. Maybe a cool Gonzo tat like this:


Oh I know! I’ll get a Rachael Ray tattoo:


Or maybe not. Maybe a cool stripper tat like this:


Yeah baby! Okay, actually I probably won’t get a tat. I’ve seen lots of really cool tats on some people and other bloggers. They’re great for them and they usually seem to mean something. At least the people who don’t get those stupid Chinese symbols. Those people always crack me up. They show them off and they’re like “They mean “Love and Happiness” and then you look them up and they actually mean “Dirty Cat Skinky Poo” or something like that. Yeah, I always laugh at those people.

Collapse: Well, my first thought here is all the buildings in Indonesia that have collapsed after this week’s earthquakes. It just looks so awful. Those poor people. Anyone in that area reading this now, I hope you and your loved ones are all okay.

“Collapse” also makes me think of the ladies fainting couch that Betty Draper bought on “Mad Men” last week. Those things are awesome. And the idea of some overly dramatic Southern Belle putting the back of her and against her forehead and tilting her head back and falling onto her fainting couch when she sees a mouse. Or hears that her husband has been banging is outrageously hot redhead secretary right there on the couch of his office. Either way, awesome.

Imagination: I have a pretty active imagination. Of course, it’s also a pretty flattering imagination. You know, where I’m a tall, slim, suave dude who all the babes are chasing after. Yeah, that’s the crazy kind of imagination I have.

There are lots of people who really have no imagination. I feel sorry for those people. Mostly because they also seem to be people with no sense of humor. Those people live a really sad, lonely, boring life. How bad would it suck to take every single thing people say seriously and never be able to recognize when they are being sarcastic or when someone’s blog post is satire or whatever. Jeeze, that would suck.

Oatmeal: I fucking hate Oatmeal. That stuff is just awful. And I’ve tried different flavors too. Like the maple flavor and uh, whatever else. They’ve all sucked. And, have you ever noticed that you have to clean that bowl out immediately after eating oatmeal. Cause that shit sets up like concrete in like five minutes. If you don’t get that bowl cleaned out, you’ll have to go get a chisel and a hammer to get that shit off the bowl. I bet it does something similar to your innards too. Well, maybe not quite so bad, but I’m not risking it.

Classical: So, the first thing I think of when I hear the word “classical” is classical music. I’m a pretty big fan of classical music, but I don’t know anything about it. I took a music appreciation course in college, but I’m just so tone deaf that I never was able to recognize who the instructor was playing. I knew I had heard it before, but couldn’t name the piece or the composer or anything like that.

Of course there’s also Classical Conditioning. You know, like if I hear “Shook Me All Night Long” come on the juke box or the radio, I automatically start nodding my head to the music and reach into my pocket for a dollar bill for the stripper. Or like if somebody throws a T-Bone steak on the grill I start grunting and drooling a little and I instinctively begin stalking the grill. Sneaking up on it, so that my prey doesn’t run off too soon. Shit like that.

So, there ya go. Thanks for the words Karen!

If you want me to give you five words let me know. I’ll give them to you here in comments. Which means you’ll have to come back to get them. Unless you request that I email them to you and I guess I’ll be a nice guy and agree to do that. Or I can send a Facebook message or even DM you on Twitter. And if you’re not on Facebook or Twitter or you aren’t my friend on one or both of them, then you suck. Anyway, let me know how you like it. Uh, how you want your words.



And the WWC words for next week are “Depth” and “Warmth.” So get snapping!


*UPDATE* Dang it! Today is also Melissa's birthday! So go wish her a happy, happy birthday too!

Aaaaaaaand Saturday is Anndi's birthday. So, you know what to do. Happy Birthday Anndi!