A Better Place

"I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." William Penn

My mother has always taught me to leave the world a better place than I found it. When I go on a walk and see garbage lying around, I hear her voice in my head and, if I can, I do something about it. If there is a garbage can nearby, I pick it up - even if I have to walk a little ways. This used to embarrass my kids sometimes but, oh well. I've embarrassed them in such grander ways - the garbage thing is not what they will remember first. But, my conviction that we need to leave the world a better place than we found it is something I hope they never forget.

Although it doesn't look like it to many, many people, deep in my heart, this actually is what I am doing as I fight for gay rights. I’ve looked around the landscape and seen a lot of garbage that needs cleaning up.

I have written about my difficulty in keeping Angry Woman in check. It is, clearly, not easy for me. My anger is big and it is justified. However, what good does it do to walk along the street and fly into fits of rage at the garbage - ranting and raving and kicking it and cursing those that leave it there? While it may be natural to feel it, it alone gets nothing done. It makes the screamer, me, miserable and actually just adds more crap to the pile. Choice: I can either shut up and ignore it or I can get to work and clean it up.

Obviously I ain't ignoring this one. I am doing my part to clean it up. Reed reminded me of a wonderful quote by Elie Weisel [Night.] “I swore never to be silent whenever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” Sides have been chosen and passions are rising. Both sides are digging in and fighting harder.

The question I keep asking myself is: if I desire to leave the world a better place, am I really accomplishing that by adding to all the negativity and anger flying around? Of course not. I keep being reminded by older generations that the fire of my anger is fueled by my youth. I can see that. Plus, I am still processing the damage of my own religious experience. And I still live in Utah – not at all helpful. I watch older activists and movers and shakers and their rage has morphed from ranting tantrums to more of a quite determination – a strong and clear intention to just move in and resolutely do what needs to be done. I hold them as examples of where I hope to find myself soon because, let's face it, The Queen of Clear Intention is WAY prettier than The Angry Woman of Bitter Shit Slinging. She smells better too.

So, seeing as how I am not moving on from this for a while yet, for my own spiritual and emotional well being – not to mention the place I am trying to make better – it is imperative that I focus more clearly on what I DO want rather than what I DON’T want. That is true for all of us – no matter what issue we are chewing on and wrestling with. I think it is a life truth. The things we say “Yes” to have to be louder, higher on the list and must far outweigh the things we say “No” to.

We have to remember that in saying “No” to bigotry, ignorance, intolerance, violence, hatred… we are actually, and much more importantly, saying “Yes” to equality, enlightenment, tolerance, understanding, peace and love.

I think that our Yes's hold far more power than our No's anyway. I think that in saying “Yes” as courageously and loudly as we can, we will actually find less and less things to say “No” to. And, ultimately, I think it is in saying a ginormous "Yes" to Life and to Love, in their countless forms, that we will all, without question, leave this world an infinitely better place than we found it.