But, even with my great triumph there is still something missing for me on Twitter. Something that leaves me feeling a little empty inside. Yes, I’m talking about the lack of strippers who are following me. I follow a few strippers on there, and I’m totally respectful to them. I reply to them from time to time nicely and even RT when they say something clever.
But do they follow me back? No, they don’t. And it hurts.
Look, I get that strippers are leery of people. People are always trying to hustle them or wanting to preach to them or be judgmental and shit. And most the men who they come across are just wanting to live out the dream of having a stripper girlfriend. You know the one where every day would consist of her bringing her hot stripper friends home and he would get all kinds of free lap dances and then do some blow off one of the strippers asses and then watch the girls put on a sex show and then have a MFFFFF orgy. So, I totally understand their being careful.
But, that’s not me at all. Oh sure, I wouldn’t turn down the party thing, but I’m not looking to use them or set them up for ridicule. I think anyone who has been paying attention around here for very long will know that I truly love and respect strippers. And it’s a crying shame that I don’t have any stripper friends.
I think they’re missing out. I’m a very supportive friend and I would never crush their dreams or disappoint them by becoming just another jerk who was just trying to fulfill his dream of banging a stripper.
I’ve done my best to prove this to them over the years. First I’ve never been a cheapskate with them. In San Antonio there was this club called the Wild Zebra. Every Wednesday was $5 lap dance on day shifts. Night shift was $10. But, did I go on Wednesdays? Hell NO! You know why? Because I thought half-priced lap dances was an insult to the girls. Not to mention a stupid business move. Think about it. If lap dances are half price on Wednesdays, why would anyone go to the club on Tuesday or Thursday? They wouldn’t. They would plan on going the half price night and then business would be dead on the other days. They’re just taking business away from themselves and the girls.
As a side note, I should totally own my own strip club. I’m pretty sure it would be the most awesomest club EVER! And the girls would love working there cause I would never screw them over and try to take a big percentage of the money the girls make like so many clubs do. And I would get rid of the DJs. Seriously, every DJ in every strip club in America is a total fucking douche. Fuck those guys.
Anyway, back to my point. And I do have one. I think.
As I was saying. I’ve been a great customer of strippers over the years. I don’t get grabby with the ladies. I’ve never tried to get any freebies, or and extras or anything like that. Okay, there was the one chick in Vegas, but that doesn’t count. I was bombed out of my mind and she was the cutest thing I had ever seen. Besides, she gave me a kiss and told me I was sweet. So it’s all good, right? And I was sweet. I mean, “freaking adorable” is probably a better way to describe me that night.
As I said, I’ve always been totally supportive of the girls. I’ve supported their dreams of going to college and law school or med school or just go and get their degrees and do something different with their lives. I’ve listened to them talk about their loser boyfriends or when they rag on other dancers. I’ve totally respected that! If a dancer tells me that another dancer is a bitch and to stay away from her, I do it. And, I’m a great cuddler.
So, since I think I’ve pretty much proven myself as probably the best stripper customer on the face of the Earth. And proven how much I love strippers. So, I have to say that it really hurts my feelings that none of them are following me back on Twitter. Or, here in the bloggerhood for that matter. Yeah, there are some stripper blogs out there and I’ve been nice enough to leave supportive comments from time to time on them. But, they never respond.
Sorry, I’m starting to tear up a bit. I don’t handle rejection well.
Injury report…
Matt-Man is still in the hospital and is hoping to be sent home on Saturday.
Gary has been sick and hopefully is getting better. If not, he might should go see a doctor.
Wreggie has
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