Oh Yeah, I Totally Called That One ...

At just before noon central time today, I posted this little blurb on Twitter:

"Hiking the Appalachian Trail? No, I said 'I'll be hittin some Argentinean Tail'" - Gov. Sanford.

About 1.5 hours later South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, in one of the most remarkable press conferences I've ever witnessed, admitted to having an extra-martial affair with a woman in Argentina. Sometimes I even scare myself with this stuff.

As the presser went along, I continued to annoy entertain people with my obnoxious cheap shots clever observations of Sanford at 140 characters or less at a time.

After the whole thing was over, I got a Direct Message from someone who asked me if I was "celebrating" Sanford's affair. I responded "No. I'm mocking Sanford himself. Not the same thing." He then messaged back and said "I guess that's true."

See, that's one of the problems of making fun of people when things like this happen. People always think you’re having fun at the expense of the wife and kids and their pain and whatever. But, if I can't make fun of a governor disappearing for 5 days without any contact whatsoever with his staff or family so he can get busy with his mistress in freaking Argentina, then I can't make fun of anything.

I mean it's not like anyone was dying or in physical danger here. And it's not like anyone can twist this to claim I was making sexualized jokes about underage girls either. I was just having some fun at the expense of another moralizing politician who couldn't live up to the same standards he has set for everyone else. And the fact that he's also batshit crazy.

Of course, what happens is that people look at these things through their own ideological beliefs. Republicans get pissed at jokes about Giuliani and his rather checkered moral past, or "wide stances" or "David Vitter and his hookers" while democrats get pissed at Clinton, Spitzer and Edwards jokes. I don't see why we can't all agree to just make fun of all of them.

And while I'm at it, governor, while I agree that Latina women are very exotic and sexy, just what's wrong with South Carolina girls? I've never been there, but I've met a few S.C. girls and they looked like they had some great potential to help you ruin a great marriage and promising political career too.


And, you wouldn’t have all the expenses of flying all the way to Argentina to get busy.

Anyway, back to the press conference. I'm a pretty good political observer and I’ve seen a bunch of these pressers. But, I really have never seen anything like this one. Like my tweet above shows, I had no doubt that this guy was NOT in Argentina alone. I had expected that he would get photographed or a security video would show up of him and a sate worker leaving together.

As the presser went along it started to become obvious that he was about to admit to the affair. I couldn’t believe that I was sooo right. LOL He started building up to it and then started crying. I’ve always considered men crying in public to be a bad thing, but we’ll talk about that some other time. And then he dropped the bomb that he had been “unfaithful.”

But, there were two things in this press conference that really stood out to me. The first was when he was listing all the people he had “hurt” by his actions, he STARTED with the mistress and then got around his wife later. Whoa! I’m no expert, but I really think I would have started with the wife.

Theeeeeeeeen … he decided it was time for some details. And he tells us all about how this relationship started when he was helping a friend out who was going through a tough time in HER marriage. He says “Ironically enough…” Ha! Yeah, I love good irony too Gov.

I swear he was all like “Well it all started back eight years ago .. and this is pretty funny actually, you’re gonna love this .. when she was having marital troubles of her own.” LOL! “Isn’t that a scream? You couldn’t write this man. Truth is so much stranger than fiction. Hahaha .. weeee .. Yeah, pretty funny stuff. So, as I was saying …” And the crowd was rolling with laughter! Or not.

I’m glad he finds some things about this funny, because God knows I do! Actually, now that I think about it, I probably would have taken ALL the fawning about the greatness and wonderfulness of the mistress out of the speech completely. But, that’s just me. What do I know? I mean I know he didn’t want us to think that he had just taken advantage of the situation to get some action from a smoking hot Latina like I would have, but I found it all a bit strange how much he talked about “her.”

At least he didn’t make his wife come and stand next to him while he gave the press conference. That’s a trend that, along with men crying in public, needs to go away permanently.