the kind of daughter

sometimes i wish i'd never ever get my hands on photo-editting softwares like Photoshop.
it feels good to know that i don't have to edit my pictures.

it makes me feel real..for some reason..oh well :)

♥ pictures that make me happy:

on the Father's Day message board in Marche.
i think we occupied quite a lot of the space :P

dad surprised + happy :)

he added, "the 7 sisters". :)

and Melody wants to write a personal note for daddy too :)

"Happy Father's Day I ♥ You
=) Love Melody"

wearing a dress given by my spiritual father on father's day :)
pastor has great fashion sense!

Evan wears off-shoulders too! unintentional though :P

-♥-

i'll be heading off to S'pore at midnight til monday.
this would probably be one of the many trips which i plan and handle on my own with my friends.

we plan the transportation, accomodation, itineraries, just about everything.
most of the times nowadays, i'd only inform my parents on my plans on trips, performances and my whereabouts..unlike the younger days where much of everything would be planned and "worried" by the parents, and permission would be needed before everything can be planned.

*thinking back on my first ever youth camp. that was classic.
it was as if i was going for war for years. hahahaa!

this time around, i'll be spending my own money for this trip, i exchanged them into SGD, i decide how much i'll be bringing, i decide what i want to do with my own money.

now that i sit down and think, this trip is really far different from the rest that i had before now. i did not have to require help, assistance and "worries" from my parents at all.

to me, it might be a great thing. it gives me a feeling that i'm grown up and able to handle my own life. without needing to trouble my parents for money and anything else. to me, i feel happy that i can spare them the troubles and worries.

but at the same time, i can feel that my parents do feel a little surreal..it's as if their baby girl has suddenly just grown up. each time they try to help out with my planning, that thing would already be settled. i can see it in their eyes that they want to be involved in my life, and somehow, i guess parents just want to "worry", help and share responsibilities with their children regardless of how grown up they are.

to the extent that my dad started to question the details of my trip. what bus i'm taking, why take that bus, take a more comfortable one, what time is the departure, how much the tickets cost, where i'll be staying, why stay there, etc etc etc.

in the natural and initially, it felt kinda irritating and pissing-off. i felt that they didn't trust me enough to handle even a simple thing like that. my dad particularly had been nagging me and trying to "help out" in every way possible for these past few days.

he'd been telling me to avoid having any plans proir to my trip for fear that i'll be exhausted, that i need to get my rest cos i won't be able to rest in the bus cos it'll be jerky and wobbly, and people will be talking in the bus, i will not be able to sleep at all throughout the journey, etc etc etc.

so my Transformers movie date with baby has been scrapped off just like that.

and just now, he suggested that he'll fetch me as well as the rest all the way to the bus station close to midnight. so i told the rest about it, and they were thrilled. told my dad they were really thankful, and this is what he said.

"No need to thank wan. If they're good to my daughter, of course i'll be good to them. I want to fetch my daughter because i love her ma..."

at that moment i felt so rebuked...
i shouldn't have felt a least bit irritated and annoyed.
i should have let my parents into my life and my plans as well.

it feels sad that my parents can't even find the time to eat and spend time with me.
not that they dont have the time, but myself.

i have been too caught up...i should really start letting them in.

-♥-

gonna pack my stuff soon.
update when i get back :)

love, careen.