Captain Corky asked: Are you ready to admit that the Colts are going to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl this year, or what?
No. The team to beat in the AFC is Pittsburgh.
Avitable asked: When applying peanut butter to your crotch for a dog to lick off, is it better to use creamy or chunky?
Chunky. You know, there really isn’t anything funnier than feeding a dog peanut butter. That shit gets stuck to the top of his mouth and it may take him 30 minutes to get it unstuck. Do that some night after you’ve been drinking and you’ve got some quality entertainment right there.
Newt asked: What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Pee. Then I check my email.
What is the last thing you do before you fall asleep at night?
Check my email then pee.
Mr. Vinny Bond asked: 1) how did you select such a punk-a** fantasy football team?
Hey that punk ass team is on the verge of making the playoffs thanks to Steve Slaton’s stunning performance on Monday Night Football!
2) When is your a** getting to Memphis and some beers and some Uncle Lou's Fried Chicken?
As soon as I can get a bullet-proof vest.
3) Are we really going to arrange an event to Tunica in the spring...get some people off their a**es for a blog-union of sorts?
I think that would be an excellent idea. Tunica would work. There are shows, buffets, gambling and … well, I don’t know what the strip clubs are like there, but we’ll figure something out.
Brad asked: What was your favorite toy as a child and what is your favorite toy as an adult?
Let’s see. Rock ‘em Sock ‘em Robots was really cool. I had these little hand-held electronic football and basketball games that I played A LOT. And various other electronic devices.
As an adult? My Real Doll.*
Catscratch asked: Please tell me, Jay.... Why is it you chose the Viking hat?
I didn’t choose the Viking Helmet. The Viking Helmet chose me. That’s the way those things work.
Anonymous asked: Have you ever had a sexual experience with another man?
Actually no. Not that I haven’t been asked though. Funny story. I went to Eureka Springs one day with two other dudes. They had something to do there and I just went with them cause I didn’t have anything else going on. Anyway, we hit this bar cause it said $1 longnecks on the sign. So we go in and order our beers and are just hanging out right? After a bit, I get up and go to the pisser. I get in there and they have these two urinals. So I’m doing my thing and I look over and there’s this dude looking at my junk! Then I realized he was actually looking at this mirror that was strategically placed on the wall so anyone who walks into the bathroom can get a look.
Needless to say I found that a bit strange.
So, I get back to our table and I’m not about to say anything to my buddies cause I don’t want to be the only one to experience that. So a few minutes later, both of my friends had to go to. Then, while they were gone, that dude who was checking me out in the bathroom comes up to me and starts trying to chat me up! Well, honestly sometimes it’s just nice to be asked, right?
Anyway, my friends both came back and were like. Dude. Did you see those mirrors? And I was trying to be all cool like and said “NO” Then one of them asks "You think this is a gay bar?" I was like "Well, the guy who just hit on me is probably gay. "
So, we stayed for a couple more beers anyway. I mean, $1 longnecks is a good deal. I think both of my friends were kind of jealous that they didn’t get hit on though.
So … uh .. what were we talking about? Oh yeah, the answer to that question is “No”.
Okay, that’s all for now. I’ll be back with more answers tomorrow.
* I keed, I keed. Those things are expensive as hell!
No comments:
Post a Comment