I Actually Accomplished Something ...

The Christmas and Hanukkah cards have been sent!

That’s right kids, more than 30 people across the U.S. and Canada now have both a handwriting and DNA sample from me.

What? The DNA sample is on the envelope you pervs!!

Anyway, that is done. Unless YOU were wanting a card and haven’t yet emailed me an address to send it too. Better hurry if you do!

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Okay, how ‘bout I answer a couple more questions from way back when I asked if anyone had any …


The lovely and talented Scarlet wants to know if I will play “Truth or Dare” here on my blog. Hmmmm …. I’ll have to think about that one. You guys are pretty perverted so I would definitely have set boundaries if I did. I’ll think it over.

Jeff wants to know What was the mischievous thing you ever did growing up?

Well, as you know I was a very good kid who never got into any kind of trouble EVER. But, I would say the most mischievous thing was when, right after we all watched “Poltergeist” I snuck into my sister, Kell’s room and placed a clown doll on her bed. It scared the shit outta her. That was good times, man. Good times.

Apathy Lounge had three questions: 1) If you could ONLY watch one sport on television (and in real life)...what would it be?

Probably college football. It’s usually much more compelling than most other sporting events.

2)Do you call it dressing or stuffing? … Dressing.

3)Favorite kind of pie. … Apple. With some vanilla ice cream on the side.


And anonymous emailer asked: Blondes, Brunettes or Redheads?

Yes, please. ;-)

Okay, I know a lot of people who ALWAYS go for basically the same type of chick or guy. I remember when I was a kid a local funeral parlor director got a divorce. A couple of months later I saw him and his wife at the store and I turned to mom and said “I thought you said he got a divorce?” She was like “He did. That’s his new wife.”

I just looked at mom for a minute and she finally said “Yes, his new wife does look EXACTLY like is ex-wife.”

I don’t think I’m that way. I find all kinds of sexiness and attractiveness in all kinds of different women. Mostly it comes from them being smart and funny and nice people.

But, I do admit that I have always found dark-haired, dark-eyed chicks pretty hot.

Freakazodj asked: Question #1. What do you love most about yourself?

That I’m a pretty good friend who people can count on. I hope so anyway.


Question #2. Do you have a favourite (she’s Canadian so she gets to put that “u” in there) cheerleader (or group thereof)?

I love them all. ;-)

Moe Wanchuck asked: Jay....do ladies watch as much internet porn as guys like us do?

Well, this may come as a surprise to some of you, but I actually don’t watch very much porn. Most of it is boring and has bad lighting.

But, I’m guessing that women watch just about as much as I do and considerably less than you. ;-)


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And finally if you’re wondering what that smell is, it’s the foul stench of failure that still lingers over my fantasy football team. I couldn’t even make the playoffs in my own freaking league.

I think it was kind of fitting to come into the final week of the regular season only needing a win to make the playoffs and have my guys all play like crap. You guys are such teases! Win two straight only to tank on the final week. Clever!

I especially want to thank David Gerrard for his steadfast refusal to stop throwing the ball to the other fucking team. Way to stick by you beliefs there dude!


Okay, that’s all I’ve got. I’ll be back tomorrow to discuss my love life.