Super Bowl Party Planning ...

So it’s Super Bowl week and I’m sure everyone is pretty excited for the big game.  People are putting the finishing touches on their Super Bowl snacks menus and making their list for the grocery store and liquor stores.  And the hardcore fans are hitting the message boards to talk smack with each other as well as monitoring the Vegas betting lines.

One of the most important things everyone needs is a good Super Bowl party plan. This includes a drinking game and alternative entertainment options.  Organization is the key to a successful Super Bowl experience. 

So, here we go …

Take one drink every time …
1. Someone mentions Hurricane Katrina
2. How the Saints are a big part of New Orleans’ recovery
3. They mentions the earthquake in Haiti
4. They mention that Colts receiver Pierre Garcon is from Haiti
5. They show either Archie or Eli Manning
6. They mention that Peyton Manning was born in New Orleans
7. You hear a player (probably Peyton Manning) cuss on the field
8. Phil Simms gets the rules wrong.
9. Phil Simms calls Jim Nantz “Jeem”
10. They show an ad for erectile dysfunction
11. A player thanks Jesus and acts as if he really thinks Jesus gives a shit who wins a football game.
12. At every mention of Tim Tebow and where he might go in the draft
13. You see Peyton Manning in a commercial
14. They mention that the Colts didn’t go for an undefeated season.
15. The announcers refer to a white receiver as “scrappy” or “competitive” or the compare any white receiver to Wes Welker.

Chug an entire beer if …
1. Any member of The Who trips over his walker on the stage
2. Pete Townshend separates his shoulder doing the windmill
3. Carrie Underwood pulls a Janet Jackson and flashes us during the anthem.
4. Peyton Manning is lying on the ground in pain and his backup is standing over him crying “GET UP! PLEASE GOD, GET UP PEYTON!”


Anytime they show Kim Kardashian take a double shot and mentally imagine yourself spanking that awesome booty of hers.

If Vikings running back Adrian Peterson is there, or they show video of him from the NFC Championship game, fumble your chicken wings.

If they mention Brett Favre toss your friend a beer and have someone intercept it.

If a player makes a routine catch, turns up field and gets a first down before being tackled, then just tosses the ball to the ref and trots back to the huddle without making a big deal about it, start to drink but then stop when you realize this hasn’t happened in the NFL in 20 years!

Best snack food options for the Super Bowl are nachos, pizza, meatball sandwiches, any dip tray from the store, cheese and crackers w/ summer sausage, jalapeno poppers and maybe mini cheeseburgers.  But, don't get too fancy and don't go with anything that can't be handled by someone who has been drinking all day.


And for those of you who don’t care to see The Ancients Who at halftime I recommend you check out Sir Lady Elton GaGa from the Grammys Sunday night.  Or possibly Pink’s performance. 


During every CSI promo, or if any of the stars of the shows are in the stands, put on safety glasses and rubber gloves and create a new alcoholic concoction.

During every NCIS promo women should argue over who is hotter, Gibbs or DiNozzo and the men should argue over Kate or Ziva.  Then, everyone shoot a terrorist three times in the chest and then throw back a shot of tequila.


If you just hate America football and want to ignore the Super Bowl then I have these two reading recommendations for you:

“Cat’s Cradle” by Indy native Kurt Vonnegut Jr…

Or

“A Confederacy of Dunces” by New Orleans native John Kennedy Toole…


Or, if you'd rather watch a movie here are a couple of good choices:

Set in New Orleans:  "A Streetcar Named Desire"


Not set in Indianapolis, but set in Indiana:  "Hoosiers"