Also, if anyone would like to help out with a Main and Donation drive for MPs stationed in Afghanistan, Hope has all the info you need RIGHT HERE.
So, I after yesterday’s post (I’m not linking to it, all you have to do scroll down one post, is that too much to ask?) I decided that there are a few other people who need to be apologizing for forcing others to be rude or do something stupid.
- Divine Brown should apologize to Liz Hurley for being so damn hot that Hugh Grant couldn’t possibly resist her and forced him to cheat on Liz with her.
- Baseball player Randal Simon should apologize to John Rocker for being an overweight black man. This of course forced Rocker to call him a “Fat Monkey.” Plus, all black, Hispanic, Asian and most certainly gay people should also apologize to Rocker just for living. Which is obviously something he’s not comfortable with.
- Jews should apologize to Mel Gibson for … uh … being Jewish, I guess. Also, that female cop in Malibu should apologize to Gibson for having a great rack, forcing him to call her “Sugar Tits.”
- Black people should apologize to Michael Richards for not sitting in the back and keeping their mouths shut.
- Ireland Baldwin should apologize to her father Alec for her not being right there when he calls every single damn time. Thoughtless little shit.
- Asians should apologize to Rosie O’Donnell for being Asian and talking funny.
- Willow Palin should apologize to David Letterman for having an older sister who got knocked up at 16 forcing Letterman to tell a tasteless joke on his show.
- NBAer Rudy Tomjonavich should apologize to Kermit Washington for getting in the way of Kermit’s fist while he was throwing punches.
- Ron Cey should apologize to Goose Gossage for getting his head in the way of the Goose’s 95+ mph fastball in the ’81 World Series.
- Joe Theismann should apologize to Lawrence Taylor for getting his leg in the way of Taylor’s helmet and getting it crushed.
- Blacks should apologize to Jimmy the Greek for forcing him to get drunk and make all kinds of comments in front of a camera about how blacks have evolved, or not, and why they are superior athletes.
- While they’re at it, blacks should also apologize to Al Campanis. They clearly forced him to go on Nightline and say that blacks lack the intellectual abilities to be upper management of major league baseball teams.
Sure does seem like black people owe a whole lot of people apologies for their being all black and shit.
- Hell, blacks should apologize to the South for making them secede from the union and go to war with the United States.
- Gay men should apologize to Idaho Senator Larry Craig for just being too irresistible while sitting in mens bathrooms.
There are some people who should apologize to me…
- Hot women everywhere should apologize to me for being so damn hot and forcing me to make what some people might consider to be disrespectful comments about them and what I would like to do to them. And for forcing me to stare at them creepily.
- Tea Party people should apologize to me for being so fucking delusional and crazy that I’m forced to mock them.
- Some Mommy Bloggers should apologize to me for annoying the crap outta me and pretending that they invented motherhood forcing me to mock them too.
- Tequila should apologize to me for being so damn tasty and resulting in my drinking too much and doing things that I might regret later.
And yes, I do have an apology that I want to make here..
- I apologize to the woman who cut me off and was then forced to flip me off because when she cut me off she almost him my car. So very sorry about that
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