Making the Sacrifice and Being Supportive ...

As you may or may not know, my good friend Matt-Man from over at Bagwine Ruminations is going to be celebrating Lent again this year. Why he wants to celebrate the yucky stuff that he pulls out of the filter of his clothes dryer, I have no idea. But, he does.

Okay, I’m kidding. About the dryer, not Lent.

As he does every year, Matt-Man is going to be giving up meat for the whole damn time of however long this silly thing lasts. Normally I would use this occasion to send him a great big Petit Jean Smoked Ham, with a nice one pound side of bacon. Or possibly encourage anyone who lives near the thriving metropolis of Bagwine, Ohio to go by Matt’s place and set up a grill and cook bacon cheeseburgers right in front of him each day.

But that would just be mean. And, no matter how hard I try, I just can’t be a meanie.

Anyway, instead of doing those assholy things, I decided that I will support my friend by observing this Lent thingy too. Yeah, I am a pretty great guy, I agree. Of course I admit that in addition to being all super duper awesome guy and supportive, there is another benefit to my doing this. Observing Lent has provided Matt with TONS of blog fodder. I mean, the guy won’t STFU about it! So there’s that too.

So, now the only thing left to do is decide what I’m going to give up. I can’t give up meat because I don’t want to be a total copy-cat. And because I’m not nearly as committed to this Lent shit as Matt is, giving up alcohol is out too. Hell, I’m not even Catholic.* And after my last post about Catholics, I probably would be rejected if I tried to join their club anyway. But still, I want to be supportive so I need to find something to give up for Lent.

The first thing I’m sure you’re going to yell out is that I should give up porn. Well, believe it or not, I don’t actually look at porn very often, so that really wouldn’t be much of a sacrifice.

Of course, I realize that there are some people out there with who have a stick way up their ass who think pics like this of Freida Pinto is porn…


Obviously I strenuously disagree. And since this is my blog, I get to make the final ruling as what is, and isn’t porn.

Although, I guess I could commit myself to going the entire time of Lent without posting a single pic of a hottie here on my blog. But, why make you guys suffer too? That would be totally unfair. So that’s out too.

And giving up hookers and strippers is a deal breaker too, so don’t even go there.

So, I think what I’m going to do is give up all junk food for Lent. Fast food, pizzas, chips, candy, chocolate, ice cream and all that kind of stuff. Now, I know you’re going to say “Uh, you should do that anyway.” Good point. But, it is giving up something I like and it would be tough to do. Besides, Jesus isn’t picky.

Oh one thing though. There will be one exception allowed for my birthday. I know for a fact that Jesus wouldn’t begrudge me some birthday cake or a pizza on my birthday. If he did, he wouldn’t have arranged for me to be born right in the freaking middle of Lent. I mean, he’s not an asshole or anything.

So, there you go. I will be following Matt-Man’s lead and observing Lent this year. And I have chosen to give up all the junk food for the duration. I know how proud you are of me.




*Yes, I do know that some Protestant denominations also observe Lent. Save you emails.