Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Mafia Hits and #1stdraftmovielines ...

First it's birthday time! Wednesday was Farmers*Wife's birthday. So head over to Glass Half Full Gal and wish her a happy happy birthday! Also, while you are there, check out some of the cool giveaways she does. You might find something you really need or want!


Now, a little PSA for everyone out there. This isn't anything personal, and I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings but ...

*Looks very sternly over the top of his reading glasses at everyone*

(I don't really need reading glasses, I just wear them as a prop at times like this when I need to look serious.)

Far be it from me to tell you what you can and can't do on Twitter. It's your life. If you want to play Mafia Wars or Spy Shit or whatever on there, feel free. But ... and this is a big but ... if you play those games, and I get 19 updates about your Mafia activities in 12 minutes cluttering up my Twitter Page/Twitter Gadget/TweetGrid, I WILL unfollow your ass. I don't care how much I love you, or how hot that ass is.

I don’t make idle threats here either people. If I click on one of my Twitter apps and it’s full of updates about someone’s Mafia activities, I won’t send my consigliere, Karen out to talk to you. I won’t leave a dead horse’s head in your bed. I won’t make you an offer you can’t refuse. I’ll just sneak into my list of followers during the cover of night. Pick up the completely untraceable .22 specially hidden there for me. Put two rounds in the head of whoever is spamming my Twitter feed causing them to fall face first into their plate of veal. Then I’ll drop the gun and walk out.

Go play Mafia Wars on Facebook where all your little updates won’t completely fill up my page please*. Kthxbai

--

Speaking of Twitter….

Some people on Twitter were playing a little game called #1stdraftmovielines. Basically you just change up a famous movie line a little bit as if maybe it was the first draft before they rewrote it to make it the great line that it was. I did a few and then decided not to play anymore cause I thought it would be a good blog post. So, here we go….


“We’re on a mission from the supreme being of our choice” – Blues Brothers.
“Here’s looking at you, young lady.” – Casablanca
“May karmic luck be with you.” – Star Wars
“I’m very upset and have had enough.” – Network
“Let’s make some money.” – Jerry Maguire

“You had me at ‘how YOU doin’?” – Jerry Maguire
*clears throat* “Um, excuse me, Adrian?” – Rocky
“I’m William Wallace. You can call me Billy.” – Braveheart
“I think he’s really alive!” – Young Frankenstein
“You may run like Mays, but you’re not a very good hitter.” – Major League.

“It’s not proper to be crying while playing baseball.” – A League of Their Own
“A man of my advanced age can’t be doing stuff like this.” – Lethal Weapon
“Fucking asshole.” – Johnny Dangerously
“We came, we saw, we captured it.” – Ghostbusters
“Mrs. Robinson. You’re trying to turn me on.” – The Graduate

“First rule of Fight Club: Turn in your official waivers that were signed by you, a witness and have been notarized and approved by our legal dept.” – Fight Club
“My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Now you must pay a wrongful death settlement.” – The Princess Bride
“You can’t handle the reality!” – A Few Good Men
“Nobody makes Baby sit in the back of the room.” – Dirty Dancing
“Take your paws off me, you filthy primate!” – Planet of the Apes

“I’ll have a margarita. Frozen, with salt around the rim and a lime.” – Goldfinger
“Say hello to this bad boy!” – Scarface
“I see zombies.” – The Sixth Sense
“Were you speaking to me sir?” – Taxi Driver
“I came here to kick ass and drink mojitos, and I’m almost out of rum.” – Dazed and Confused
“There’s nothing more fun than pointing out other people’s faults.” – Clerks

“This fishing vessel is entirely too small.” – Jaws
“Do you know the color of the boathouse at Hereford?” – Ronin
“Cause only one thing counts in this world: Get them to sign the contract.” – Glengarry Glen Ross
“Leave the Gun. Take the Krispy Kremes.” – The Godfather
“It all started with a Lazy Boy recliner.” – Juno

“Yes, I’m Beowulf.” – Beowulf
“You’re not very funny.” – The Dark Knight
“Hey, I’m trying to cross the street here!” – Midnight Cowboy
“What is your problem, young man?” – Full Metal Jacket
“I looked at the clock... because I was saying to myself... It's five to seven, where could he be going with that Real Doll™?” – A Fish Called Wanda

“Frankly my dear, I don’t really care all that much.” – Gone With the Wind
“Love means never having to apologize for stupid little shit.” – Love Story
“Hey, don’t knock jackin it. It’s sex with someone I love.” Annie Hall
“Return my son to me!” – Ransom
“Your mother performs oral sex on men in Hell.” – The Exorcist

“I will not allow you to pretend I don’t exist.” – Fatal Attraction
“Nobody’s looking for a puppeteer in these cold economic times.” – Being John Malkovich
“Oh no! It wasn’t the airplanes. It was a damn hot babe that killed the beast.” – King Kong
“Happy Holidays to everyone!” – A Christmas Carol
“Ta-ta for now.” – The Running Man

Okay, that’s enough. You’ll have to figure out the real quotes. The person who gets the most wins …. Nothing!



*Did I totally sound like a really mean bad-ass ninja type who would sneak into your room at night and slit your throat while you sleep? Cause I’ve heard that chicks totally did guys like that. So I’m trying out a new image thingy here.

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