Just Being Helpful ...

Because I didn't post last Monday, and because I have the memory of a gnat, I forgot to wish my friend Kim a happy birthday last week. (Well, on here I did, not on Twitter or Facebook). So, a bit late, but Happy Birthday Kimmeh!

Also, a very happy birthday to my wonderful friend Hannah AKA NeBaby AKA lotsofothernames. I hope you had a truly great birthday babe. You deserve it!


Okay, so that old drunk Matt-Man stole the topic I was going to post about today. As payback I’m going to post about something that happened right in his own backyard. *flips Matt-Man off*




Robert McFadden of Dublin, OH plead guilty to two counts of compelling prostitution after he posted to a website in which people rate and recommend hookers. Now, I'm sure you're thinking that I'm going to focus on the fact that this guy is the former Director of Faith Based and Community Initiatives under Gov. Ted Strickland (D-OH).

Well, that is pretty damn funny. But, I think we've all come to expect this kind of behavior out of people in those "Faith" positions. And, while this kind of hypocrisy certainly calls out for long and forceful mocking, I've got other things to discuss.

Who the hell gets caught, and admits to, posting on websites recommending prostitutes? Everybody knows that when you post to those sites, just like posting to Strip Club Review sites, you make it an imaginary story. Maybe even a dream. Or maybe it all happened because you were being helpful Something like this…



The other night I had to work late and there was an accident on the highway, so I had to take a side road home. As I was driving along I noticed a very pretty lady hanging out at the bus station looking like she was a little afraid. Because I volunteer as a security guard a local women's shelter for my church, I know the signs of a girl in distress, so I turned around drove back to the bus stop.

I drove up and down the road a bit, looking to see if there were any police officers near who could help. As usual there were no cops around when I needed them, so I decided I should stop and talk to her. Sure enough, she was very upset about some bad situations in her life and was a little afraid of some people. She even asked me if I was a cop. I told her I wasn't, but I could help her. I don't know who she was so worried about, but she kept looking around and saying "I don't want to be seen talking to you on the street, can we go over to that parking lot behind the Hobby Lobby."

I understood her concerns, so I agreed. I drove around and parked. After a few minutes she came walking around the building and got in my car and told me her name was Britney. After a few minutes of my counseling her something happened that shocked me. She actually hit on me! I'm not kidding!

Well, the first thing I did was tell her that I didn't think that was appropriate. But, you know, I'm only human. And she was so cute and sweet. A little nervous acting, and kinda paranoid, but still very sweet. So, after checking I.D. to make sure she was of legal age, we headed over to a motel.

As soon as we got there we began to kiss. Her kiss tasted like Cheetos and desperation sunshine and angels. Then she began to press her warm and tender body up against mine as I slowly ran my hand over her firm and spectacular ass. It wasn't long before we were in the throes of ecstasy. She was incredible. Willing to try several different positions and quite talented too!

Afterwards, as we were cuddling, she told me that she never does anything like this. She was just so desperate for someone to hold her and make her feel safe. Even if it was just for an hour or so. It made me feel good to be able to be there for this girl when she needed someone.

Eventually she said that she really needed to go. Lying there in the fantasy of my love was great, but she still couldn't just ignore the realities of the world. I asked her if she needed a ride somewhere, and she said back to the bus stop. She said she is stuck riding the bus because the starter is messed up on her car.

Without being asked, I decided that I should help out. I reached into my wallet and gave her a hundie and told her to let me pay for her car to be fixed. She protested, saying that I had already done so much for her, but I insisted. I knew she really needed that car fixed. I was afraid that if she had to ride the bus too long she would lose hope, and quit her job and have to resort to something terrible to make money. Again, she was incredibly grateful for my generosity.

I gotta tell you guys. I've never felt better about myself. I really made a difference in that young (but of legal age) girl's life. And, I hope that my story can be an inspiration for you to go out and find someone to help too.



See, there was nothing illegal in there. It's just a story about a guy who helped out a grateful young girl in need. A very heartwarming story even. Not that anything like this has ever happened to me. Not that I’m not the kind of guy who would stop and help a young lady in need. Cause I totally am. I think I’ve established that.