I should probably leave this to people with talent like Israel Carrasco, but I thought I'd try a few monologue jokes today...
A Florida school district is considering returning a $20,000 donation because the man who donated the money is a strip club owner. Officials found out the donor owned a strip club when the donation came in four suitcases full of one dollar bills.
Washington University at Saint Louis had to drop Bristol Palin as a speaker on a panel discussion that was set to be part of “Sexual Responsibility Week.” Maybe if they have a “Sexual Irresponsibility Week” sometime she could appear at that one.
President Obama and Sec. of State Clinton have called for an “orderly transition of power” in Egypt. Much like the one the U.S. will have in Jan of 2013.
There was some question over the weekend whether or not President Obama was really willing to let Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak fall. But, then Obama showed how serious he was when he de-friended Mubarak on Facebook.
Last week NASCAR announced a new scoring system. They said it was mainly to make things easier on their fans, who tend to struggle with basic math skills.
Tiger Wood's struggled in the first PGA tournament of the season this weekend. After the tournament he said he needed to find a Perkin's Family Restaurant NOW!
Friends of Charlie Sheen say that his biggest problem is that he needs to quit hanging out with other drug addicts and porn stars. So, he went into rehab.
Miley Cyrus was named “Worst Influence on Kids” by readers of AOL's Just So You Know. The cast of Jersey Shore say they're embarrassed to lose to Miley and vow to do more to be a worse influence on your kids next year.
A BBC reporter was roughed up by Egyptian police over the weekend. He got bandaged up and was back on the street reporting in a matter of minutes. Jay Cutler was amazed.
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Ever wondered what Mike (and Mrs. Mike) sounds like? Well, wonder no more cause he called into “I'm With Stupid” last week, and even though some people think the show is “crap” we had a good time with him as always...
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