That Car ...

I’m not a car guy.  I know it’s easy for me to say that, being poor and all, but I never really have been.  Oh sure, I love cool cars.  Especially classic cars and muscle cars.  And, I find “exotic” cars to be a lot of fun to check out.  But, when I say I’m not a “car guy” I mean that I’m not obsessed with my car like some people are.

I don’t inspect my car every day to see if there is a new scratch on it.  I don’t wash it every day or even nearly often enough.  Oh I take care of it, and keep it running, but I don’t park way out by myself so nobody will be near my car and no little kid will “accidentally” bump into it or it won’t get a door ding or some shit.



Speaking of parking, I’ve mentioned before how amazing it is that on TV shows people are able to drive around a very large and busy city without ever hitting any traffic.  They can also get from the city out into the rural areas and back in time for lunch.  Aaaaand that they always find a parking spot right in front of the building that they are going to.

But you know what really amazes me?  The fact that not only did they get somewhere without hitting any traffic and then find a parking spot right in front, but they always have enough room to open their car doors all the way. 

They never have to open the door just a bit and squeeze out of their car, or back into it, because the cars on either side of their spot are parked over the yellow line.  NEVER!  It’s total bullshit and I don’t know how it is that TV directors and producers think we don’t notice shit like that.



Anyway, there is one thing that I am very careful to do with my car though.  I don’t park in front of my building.  I park across the road over against the fence in front of the building next to mine. 

I do this so that I can see my car from the bedroom window. Not so I can see who’s messing with it.  But, whenever I hear a car alarm go off in the middle of the night, I leap from my bed and race to my window with my car remote in hand, ready to turn the alarm off if it’s mine.

I’m totally paranoid that my car will be “THAT CAR.” 

You know the one.  The one that the alarm goes off on it constantly.  The one that everyone in the complex hates and bitches about all the time because it wakes them up every night.

The reason I’m so concerned is because my alarm goes off very easily.  In fact, whenever I get gas, when I’m done pumping the gas and open the driver’s side door, the alarm goes.  Every. Single. Time.  And, what’s worse, is that when my alarm goes off, the lights don’t flash.  So, I don’t really know if it’s my car’s alarm going off when I look out the window unless I can see another car’s lights flashing.  If I don’t see any lights flashing, I have to hit the little button on my keychain and if the noise stops I’ll know it was mine.

So far someone’s little red Pontiac Vibe has been the culprit most nights.  But, I’m ever vigilant making sure that my car doesn’t become “THAT CAR.”