Blog Pledge ...

My entry for this week’s CIWTFF (The meme that Candice didn’t really start, but I liked so I’m doing it anyway) is Christina Hendricks.


Oh baby, this hot redhead has curves in all the right places. And, anyone who has seen her on Mad Men or Life knows that she is just smoldering hot. BTW, Mad Men season 3 premieres this Sunday baby! I realize I’m really not cool enough to like this show, but I pretend that I am so I can watch it.


--

So, I’ve been sitting around watching a little discussion unfold this week with some amusement. It’s concerning Mommy Bloggers and this “I Blog With Integrity” badge that someone made for them to put on their blogs.


Basically from what I understand it stems from some people being concerned about people doing product reviews or pay for posts without informing their readers that their post is an advertisement. I’m sure there’s more to the story, but I’m not a part of the Mommy Blogging community, so I don’t know all the details.

Anyway, I don’t see why anyone would be upset with this. I have no opposition to people who try to use their blogs to make a little money, but I do think they need to let their readers know which posts are real and which posts are ads.

Now, before you think you’re gonna snag that little banner or join up with the Integrity Pledgers or whatever, think again. This thing isn’t just for anyone. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if some Mommy Blogger doesn’t have her lawyer send me an official sounding letter just for mentioning it. This badge and this pledge is for Mommy Bloggers only.

As a Penis-American I am obviously banned from joining in with the Mommy Blogging Cult Club. This Mommy Bloggers Club is a very exclusive club apparently. Not exclusive in the sense of rich white republicans clubs which banned blacks, Hispanics, Asians and women, but more exclusive in the sense that you have to pass the Mommy Test. But, just because you are a mommy and a blogger, it doesn’t mean that you can join the club either. I don’t know what all that mommy test entails, but apparently have to have the most amazing, brilliant, special, funny, perfect, superior kids. Even if they are actually incredibly average and don’t really do anything different than all kids do at the same age. And you have to have the most perfect, wonderful, brilliant, loving, considerate, amazing husband. But, on the occasions that he falls short of 100% perfection, say 99.4% perfect, you are free, maybe even required to hold him up to ridicule on your blog and have your readers trash him in comments. The rest of the rules for membership are too secretive for me to have figured out.

Oh, well I guess it guess it goes without saying that if you don’t spoil and indulge your children constantly then you won’t get in the club. If you’re the type who lets your kids take food and drink into the pool where it isn’t allowed, you’re in. Also, if you’re the type that allows your kids to ride skateboards and bicycles on walking paths that are clearly marked “No Bicycles or Skateboards” then you are definitely in. Making your precious snowflake live by the rules that everyone else has to live by, is soooooo unfair. The fact that you have kids gives you a special entitlement to ignore those rules.

Also, if you just read that paragraph and got really, really mad, then you’re in.

It’s a wonder how our parents were able to get through without having Mommy Bloggers around to tell them how to be a good mother. Just pure luck I guess.

Anyhoodle, I have been inspired to create my own little pledge. But unlike the Integrity Pledge™ I’m going to let anyone and everyone join in on my pledge. That’s right, men, women, transgendered, hermaphrodites (The Lady Ga-Ga Clause), black, white, brown, yellow, purple people are all invited. As are all Christians, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, Rastafarians, any religion you can think of is invited. Except Amish of course. I mean, I do have standards.

Mennonites are invited though. Of course I have always sided with the Mennonites in their long struggle with the Amish ever since 1693. Man that Jacob Amman sure was a self-righteous bastard! The Mennonites, however, are very nice. We have a nice little local bakery here that is run by the Mennonites, and every time I go in there to get something, this cute girl who works down there is always flashing me some ankle. Very hot!

Anyway, as you can see my pledge is for everyone. Even Mommy Bloggers who ban others from their pledge. That’s cause I’m better than them.

My pledge? ….


That’s right people. I pledge to never let a good night of drinking go without typing up a blog post and Twittering. I think it’s the least I can do.





*But, I do have the right to edit that blog post before it goes live. And by “edit” I mean make it less mean, and to clean the blog up a bit.

**And by “clean the blog up a bit” I mean remove the parts where I discuss which fellow bloggers I would love to have sexual relations with.

***And it’s at this point that do feel compelled to point out that I don’t hate mommy bloggers. Not most of them anyway. Just the snooty ones who create pledges that they then say aren’t for everyone, just their special little club. That’s very childish and silly. But, otherwise there are a lot of mommy bloggers that I read and love.

****And by “love” I mean they’re MILFs.