Introducing My Imaginary Girlfriends ...

So, Scott over at Zodi’s Blog did a post yesterday about all of his different personalities. I told him in comments that I only have two personalities, Drunk Jay and Sober Jay. And they hate each other. But, I do have some imaginary friends and a smoking hot imaginary girlfriend who takes on several different personalities.

So, as inspired by Scott and his multiple personalities, over the next three days I will present to you the different personalities of my imaginary girlfriends.

Imaginary Girlfriend #1: Naughty Librarian…


Oh yeah baby. All prim and proper in public, the Naughty Librarian is the perfect girlfriend to present to friends and family. She’s educated, has great manners, is always helpful and is a great conversationalist. She loves to watch Jeopardy and History Detectives with me and loves to correct my grammar, but never in the mean, Grammar Nazi way. But, when the lights go out and the Dean Martin music is cranked up, little miss goody two shoes becomes an wild, sex crazed nymphomaniac who rides her boyfriend like Ron Turcotte riding Secretariat down the homestretch at Belmont. Whip and all.



Imaginary Girlfriend #2: Euro Babe …


The Euro Girlfriend is the most refined of the imaginary girlfriends. Especially the girl in the picture, who is French. She is very high maintenance and quite the snob. She looks down on most people and refuses to eat anywhere other than the best restaurants and is a real wine snob. But, I like her anyway. She’s great to take to really classy places and when I want to impress people. Plus, her accent is sexy as hell and she’s a great kisser!



Imaginary Girlfriend #3: Voluptuous Babe…


Voluptuous Babe knows how to take care of her man. She’s smart and sassy and will say anything at anytime. That’s why she is so much fun to hang out with. And why all of our imaginary friends like to come over to the house all the time. She’s also a great cook, whipping up all kinds of yummy comfort foods like meatloaf and mashed potatoes and great soups and stews. Best of all she knows how to keep her man happy and keep him warm at night.



Imaginary Girfriend #4: Redneck Babe …


Redneck babe and Voluptuous babe are kind of similar in that they know how to take care of their men, but Redneck Babe is even louder and crazier. Redneck Babe loves to go fishin’ and huntin’ and will help work on the truck and do all kinds of outdoor stuff where you get dirty. Then Redneck Babe likes to hit the dive bar with me where we watch the ballgame and drink Miller Lite beer out of a can and eat cheeseburgers. When our team scores she’s screams and yells and gets up and dances and when the other team scores she cusses a blue streak. The night often ends with her dancing on the table top to some Earnest Tub music and at least three of her bras and two pairs of her panties are hanging from the ceiling. Of course, she carries the panties in her purse with her cause never really wears any.



Okay, there’s the first four. See you tomorrow for the next four.