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Welcome back to DC's Writers Workshop. This is the seventh in a series of days on the blog where writers who are part of the blog's community will present work-in-progress in search of the opinions, responses, advice, and critiques of both readers who don't normally post comments here and local inhabitants of this place. I ask everyone to please read these works with the same attention you give the normal brand of posts here and respond in some way in the comments section below. Obviously, the closer your attention and the more you're able and willing to say to the writer the better. But any kind of related comment is welcome, even a simple sentence or two indicating you read the piece of writing and felt something or other about it would be helpful. The only guideline I'm going to give out regarding comments is that any response, whether lengthy or brief, praise filled or critical or anywhere inbetween, should be presented in a spirit of helping the writer in question. I'll be responding to the work too in the Comments section towards the end of the weekend. So I guess all of that is probably clear. Giving support to the artists of different kinds who read and post on the blog has always been a very important aspect of this project, but this workshop series represents one of the first times that aspect has been made formal. Today's writer is Joseph Goosey aka the blog's distinguished local 'Joseph' who is presenting a section from a longer work-in-progress entitled 'Chicken Coop'. He asks for any thoughts, support, or criticism you can give him. I thank him greatly for entrusting his work-in-progress to us, and I thank you all in advance for your kind participation. -- D.C.
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Heterosexual? Is that the new pope? Krista is concerned with people, not the division thereof.
Donald.
How was I supposed to know they put up fucking cameras in the locker rooms? Man, you don’t really know how fucking boring that job was man. I was a fucking DOORMAN, I stood around all day and occasionally said hi to somebody. So it was Thanksgiving night. What else was I supposed to do? There was nobody around. I was bored as all shit standing around with nobody to even greet. Plus, earlier in the day, my boyfriend Troy started to go down on me, he’s got this mouth you see, that’s like hot as hell. Not like, sexy LOOKING, which is it IS anyways, but like the temperature inside Troy’s mouth is like 103 degrees AT ANY GIVEN TIME. I used to tell him all the time that I thought he was running a fever but he’d say that no, no, he didn’t have a fever, he was doing alright. Sure enough we checked his body temperature one night and I guess he just has one extremely hot orifice, is all. Anyway he started to go down on me, and I’m not very big, so he can take all of me into this steam-room of a mouth…and…have you ever fucked in a sauna? Well, I used to belong to this country club that was pretty much just a bath house, and dudes could bareback all they wanted to in the sauna, no questions asked by management or anything like that, and the heat of the sauna felt so goddamn good but problem was people were always getting way too excited and passing out due to dehydration, but this, with Troy’s mouth, I get that fucking hot as hell burning sensation on my cock, but the rest of me is room temperature. It’s great. Troy is fucking spouse material if there ever was spouse material. And so what happened was that I was half or even three-fourths hard most of my shift at work, and I this cute guy came in, he was there for some wedding or something and he kind of looked like Brody Jenner, you know, that guy from The Hills? That stupid-ass show that they play on MTV all day long? If you don’t know him from that show, he also used to be on that show that was actually surprisingly funny, Prince of Malibu, I think it was called. That show was great. They should really bring that show back for another season. I used to jerk off to that show all the time. I can’t jerk of to The Hills because of that weirdo Spencer, he’ll deflate a hard-on in one second flat if you dare look him in the eyes. Plus he’s got this shabby nappy beard, he’s really just gross I simply can’t understand why the hell Heidi hasn’t dropped his ass, I mean, she’s not the most gorgeous girl on the show, that would have to Audrina, although she just looks ever so slightly like a wet rat, but just a little, she’s still real sexy, if I girl could get me hard, Audrina would totally get me hard as a fucking rock. Yeah, Heidi isn’t perfect, but she can’t still do way better than that Spencer creep. Imagine fucking Spencer, right? Having to look at him while his sweat drips in your mouth? UGH. JUST UGH. Oh, and you know Bruce Jenner? You might know him off that show KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS which is just simply my favorite on right now. I mean, it’s embarrassing that I love it so much but I just can’t get enough of that fucking show. It’s like my CRACK? Ya, and Kim is just absolutely dazzling , her eyelashes alone make me so damn jealous…well, anyway, what I was saying was that Bruce Jenner is now Kim Kardashian’s stepfather, that’s not really that important, I’m not even sure how I got off on that…what I started out saying, man, was that this guy was at the hotel where I work, like in town for some kind of wedding or some kind of mitzvah or something like that, I can’t really remember, but this guy looked soooo much like Brody Jenner…and I just couldn’t help it man, I’ve just been absolutely enamored with Brody ever since he was on Prince of Malibu, man, oh my god I’m usually a man of the law and everything like that but I swear if I ever saw Brody Jenner out in public, like, out at a bar or some place, I swear, I don’t think I would be able to hold back at all. I think I’d probably have to chloroform him, take him home, light some incense or candles and just fuck his sizzling mouth until my cock no longer functioned or until judgment day, which ever one came first, it would probably be the latter ‘cause I think, really, that if I was faced with Brody Jenner’s sugary fucking lips for as long as I wanted, I don’t think I could ever really get limp. Of course, I talk a big game right now, just sitting here with you, but really, if you Brody Jenner were to waltz into this interview room right now, unannounced, and drop his tight yet comfortable D&G jeans, and let his thick cock just swing in the open air, if he were to come in here right now and do that, and stick three fingers up his pampered asshole to loosen it up just for me, if he were to show me his taught little hole, turn around, lick his lips, and say IT’S ALL YOURS, YOURS TO DESTROY AND ABUSE AS YOU PLEASE, talking of course about his sweet, I assume virgin, asshole, man I swear, I would probably be as limp as your grandmother’s dishrag ‘cause of the most severe case of performance anxiety you’ve ever witnessed in your life. I’m prone to that kind of shit, dude. When I’m totally comfortable, I can be hard all night, plunging deep into the most gorgeous, rank holes on earth, but like I said I have to be totally comfortable or else I just get nervous, I don’t know, something about the way my blood chooses to flow. I guess I’m just blessed and cursed, I’ve got a bi-polar cock I guess. What was I saying? RIGHT. Sorry man, I just get way too excited and can’t help myself sometimes. I guess that’s really why I’m stuck in this place anyway, yeah, that’s exactly it man, that’s my defense man, use that, write that shit down. Are you writing that shit down? I don’t really see you writing anything down. Write down: GETS EXCITED, CANNOT CONTROL HIMSELF. That’s what happened. That’s all that happened and now look at me. Troy had sucked me off a little bit with his burning hot mouth, some guy looked like Brody Jenner, and I just simply couldn’t take anymore. I HAD to go to the bathroom and release or else I was going to EXPLODE, ya know, haven’t you ever just been so goddamn horny you thought you going to just cover the whole of whatever building you were in with one huge load, haven’t you felt that you were going to spontaneously combust if you didn’t get rid of what was building up in your loins? If you haven’t, if you haven’t at least ONCE, whatever relationship you’re in, no matter what how good it seems, if you haven’t felt like that, that relationship is not love, it’s just some bullshit. Of course, some people would say NO. Some people would say what I’m talking about is just unreasonable, out of control lust, but for one, speaking of lust is very out of date, and for two, lust IS a component of love and if you say that’s not true you’re full of shit and should probably jump off the highest pier you can find and then swim your way into a rock so you start bleeding and the sharks come to you for a meal. So anyway I went to the bathroom and the load I released, actually, was surprisingly tame, I mean, it was great and all, but it didn’t have the electricity I thought it was going to have. How was I to know they had installed those stupid little cameras in the bathroom? I can’t believe that the hotel is even pressing charges. I’ve been with them for eight years. I’ve only jerked off in the bathrooms a handful of times, people do a lot worse. Murderers and arsonists and all kinds of sociopaths running around fucking up the works for the rest of us, but OH NO don’t jerk your OWN cock in a bathroom! Ya know, I think I should sue. I think this is a hate crime. I think this is fucking discrimination. I don’ think they would ever prosecute a regular straight dude for jerkin’ off to some old ass issue of Screw magazine, I think they’re pressing charges just ‘cause they saw me stick the handle end of that hairdryer up my asshole. How’s a man supposed to cum without something thick up his asshole? Christ, yeah, this is totally discrimination. Do you know who I talk to about that? You didn’t write down ALL of this did you? Like, that one part about the chloroform and Brody Jenner, is that considered a threat or something? ‘Cause I was only fantasizing, god this country needs to quit prosecuting fantasy. I would never really rape Brody Jenner’s mouth. He and I would never ever, ever cross paths.
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The first boy began to claim love but could not spell. He told Krista that they would live in a very round house and give birth to three, very round children. This would be as acceptable and white as America gets and together they will smile as though there was a knife to their mutual oompas.
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p.s. Hey. So, there's your assignment, optional but encouraged, for the weekend. Please help a d.l. out by having a close look and sharing your thoughts with Joseph. I'm sure you know that putting one's work on the spot is a delicate and tender and nerve wracking thing, and that, even if you don't feel you have a huge amount to say, the simplest response and reaction would mean a lot. Thanks very much, Joseph and all of you. My life remains less than newsworthy, and no alerts spring to mind this morning, so I'll just wade in. ** _Black_Acrylic, Ouch, on the tea spilling. My laptop usually has a cup of something or other by its side, and I live in mild terror of accidentally spazzing out. I thought that was a fine, very clear and telling review. That first commenter just seemed like a bundle of arrogance and bitterness of some sort to me. Everyone, Read _Black_Acrylic's read on the 2010 Dundee degree show. It's in The Skinny, which means here, and it's quite interesting. Man, I hope the Apple Store does its self-styled genius act and saves your laptop. I'm going to Paris AS today to see what an iPad looks like. ** Waiting for John, Ah, yes, of course, it's John who has worm written all over him, not you. That would certainly take care of the 'waiting', or at least give your name a parenthetical add-on, a la Waiting For John (To Move A Few Inches). Take care this weekend, sir. ** Empty Frame, Hey. Thanks for stopping in while on the run. Yeah, I think my ineptitude as a shoplifter extended to my choices as a shoplifter. Still, as least their silliness kept me out of juvenile hall or whatever. Safe packing and, of course, safe trip if that comes off before I see you next. ** Chris (British), Don't push your luck on the disappearing act, buddy, ha ha. ** David Ehrenstein, I think I can safely say I am not this blog's Switzerland. ** Bollo, The Bugs Bunny one was great, yeah. The serenity and anti-drama was beautiful. Oh, awesome news about the group show. Is it the kind of gallery that might, should things go well, take you on as regular? Is that something you'd want? ** Sypha, That's totally exciting, yeah. And they want to keep the same cover. That's interesting, kind of surprising, but it's a good cover so why mess with it, obviously. Well, whenever this new project of yours is ready to be talked about, ears or, rather, eyes are perked. ** Dandysweets, Hey, pal! Thank you so much for yesterday. It was great, and I think you got that Jay fella some new followers. Hopefully not so many that you'll see him next time as a tiny dot far across a stadium. I've driven through the Mojave in early July more than once. It'll be hot, definitely, but LA summers tend to be late bloomers, so it shouldn't be peak summer heat. You might end up wanting to turn on the car's air conditioning. And it's almost for sure going to be very dry heat, the great kind of heat. You just need to make sure your car is in working order and won't overheat, basically. The desert looks amazing when it's hot. Driving through it then isn't dangerous at all. It should be a terrific trip. Don't worry at all. ** Slatted Light, Hey! Glad you're feeling better, man. Thanks a lot for the vote of confidence on my insertions of trouble and emotion into our piece. Finding the balance is proving very tricky, and I'm not yet certain that what I'm being allowed to do is enough. Theoretically, it should be, but the spectacle in this piece is very dense and accrues there from many fronts, and my interventions are being more restricted than before. They're more like little squeaks from a machine that is intent on seeming very well-oiled. They're remnants of a more emotive piece that we originally intended to build but didn't end up building. Ideally, they play that hidden piece inside the more abstract piece that it mostly is now, and their glimmers create an overall work that is powerfully in between. I hope that once we finish the last week of work on the piece next month, I'll find the confidence I really want to feel. Amazing stuff about the amazing B-B post. ** Alec Niedenthal, Hi, Alec. ** JW Veldhoen, I do see, yes. ** Christopher/ Mark, RIP: Jack Birkett, indeed. I only really knew his work with Jarman and that he was in Lindsay Kemp's company, whom I never had the chance to see. Fascinating life, fine remembrance. ** Koes, This place has a strange, magical resilience, yeah. I'm okay, just a little busy between working on a novel and finishing a giant new theater piece with my pal Gisele and others. Of course you can do a Cocorosie Day sometime! I beg you to, even. I guess you probably know that ... shit, I'm forgetting her name, sorry .. closed her terrific gallery and art space here. That was sad. Don't be scared, not that I've ever met Jamie Stewart or seen him live, very weirdly. I'm sure he's scary in the good way. Are you going to go up and say hi, I hope? ** Jax, Hey, pal. Your post has launched a lot of really interesting ship-like comments. Sign of one of the truly great ones, need I say. Thank you again. So, just being on the shortlist in and of itself will probably be a real boon for you in terms of getting gigs from now on, won't it? ** Ken Baumann, Do upload your Italian doppleganger, please. No, the show isn't on one of the five main TV channels here in France, and the TV situation in the Recollets is so primitive and my TV consequently so hampered that it actually needs one of those rabbit ear antennas to get any signal at all. I have a Parisian acquaintance who loves the show, and I'll try to either invite myself over or get her to tape an episode. Finest weekend available to you, man. ** Math, Oh, yes, you're coming to Europe, of course. Are you still planning a Recollets stint as part of your European introduction? I didn't know of Sacha Dumain before, so I asked Yury, and of course they're acquaintances, and I'll spare you the invictive that followed. It gets all West Story in our room whenever the topic of Gharles Guslain and his crowd breach a conversation. ** Bill, Hey, Good luck with the last bits of Amsterdam. I forget, are you going to end up in Paris at all? That Illuseum is totally interesting. I'd never heard of it before. I might even venture a post about it if I can find enough related stuff. Fantastic tip off, Bill. Thanks a ton. Where is next for you? ** Steevee, See what you think of the new Emeralds. I really like it. It's different-ish, but I like the move. When Stephen O and I were talking about Xasthur the other day, he spoke very, very highly about him, thinks he's got a lot up his sleeve, think he's a very intelligent guy whose work is going to really show itself over time. ** Misanthrope, Well, yeah, about Spielberg and Lucas. Personally, I have almost no use for Lucas. The Star Wars movies are okay in a couple of instances at best to me. Spielberg's first handful of films had a wonder and wondering that made them kind of beautiful in a way. Since then, his movies just seem sturdy and diverting or not. 'AI' is the only recentish film of his that seemed actually pretty interesting, at least that I can remember. Glad you're up for the workshop. I await your thinking. ** The Dreadful Flying Glove, What a fantastic Branca clip! When he's on the money, damn, he's great. That was just the sound and even sight of heaven to my ears/eyes. I'm going to download the 'Lesson No. 3' album today. Interested to hear your take on 'Head'. Pretty wildly charming, if I remember correctly. ** Creative Massacre, Hey. Oh, well, maybe post-school depression is part of it? Not having those goals and deadlines? That seems like a natural possibility. Too bad the 24th is a ways off, and I hope your mood lifts long before then, but at least that should be a really nice wake up call. Try to have an awesome weekend if you can, pal. ** David 'Year of 13 Moons' is my favorite Fassbinder. ** Will Decker, Hey, Will. I'm angling for a good Saturday, but I'm not sure by what means yet. But this is Paris, so I'll figure something out. Isn't it Memorial Day weekend over there in the States? I forget what one does on MD. Maybe just enjoy the free time? A bbq? Hm. Whatever lays just ahead in your neck of the woods, I hope it's wildly enjoyable. ** Frank Jaffe, Hey. An 80s party ... hm, I guess the hair style is key. Is your hair long enough at the moment to fool around with? A vintage Duran Duran or whoever t-shirt? Boombox? Cocaine spoon around your neck? Not much help, I'm afraid. 790 pages, yikes. ** Justin, I'm going to find me a ballet company and drop off my resume, that's all there is to it. Yeah, I'm game if any ballet companies are reading this. I tried that Walmart site, and it did look very dangerous. Is it possible to create a bookmark and flag it at the same time? ** Inthemostpeculiarway, I'm glad you told me about your SitC2 experience. Your sparkling prose was the spoonful of sugar that helped the medicine go down. I love rain in LA. It's a special effect there. Here it's second nature. But, yes, yesterday was better for it, not that I got out into the cleansed day hardly at all. I used to rent escorts a lot. Up until the early 90s even. That was how I did a lot of my research for my novels. I hired them for fun, but I mainly hired them to study being with them, the dynamic and how that relationship worked, and to try out particular sexual experiences so I could understand them. So, yeah. If you hire escorts only for the sex, it's pretty hit or miss. Your last Bendy report was so sad, beautiful but really sad. I don't know if saying I'm sorry is the right thing to say because I don't know how sorrowful you feel about it. The scene you described is so universal in way. I thought about my own partings that have been like that, and it made me sad, I guess. Love live Bendy wherever he goes! The Gary Coleman death was weird. I never watched that TV show, so he was just a bizarre celebrity to me. I think changing eye color is a contac lens thing only, but I'm not totally sure. I'm sorry you had such a hard day, but you weren't too wordy in the slightest. My day was almost a big fat nothing. Wrote, yeah, whatever, the usual. Kiddiepunk and Oscar and I met with Chrystel who runs this place and we set our gallery show/event for the middle of June. That's done, that's good. Now we have figure out what to put in the show and what to do at the event. I'm easy because all I can really do is read some of my work. Anyway, other than that meeting, it was a day that just slid by, eaten by writing and working on stuff and buying some food. First it was day, and then it was night. Really, I can't think of another thing from yesterday that could hold your attention. I think I'll get out and about today or tomorrow, though. And your weekend? Does it being Memorial Day make a difference? Tell me, please. ** Alan, That is a nice shot. It looks like it pre-dates the makeover-in-progress going on by ... Christian Lacroix or someone like that who bought the castle and surrounding town and is trying to turn the castle and its village into a tourist destination. You probably knew that. Great weekend to you, Alan. ** Tender Prey, Hi, Marc! I apologize once again for begging off on your questions last week. My brain was in the theater and barely on loan when I wasn't. I'm of course really happy that the talk went well. I'm honored, man, truly, thank you. I'll bet you're looking forward to more concentrated time in the studio now, yes? Ha ha, interesting about my answer in the interview. It's really true, although sometimes if I can sit and look at the passage and the context it's in and stuff, I'll remember some basic things I was doing. The problem is that the extremely labor-intensive editing and rewriting my work needs can kind of erase my original thoughts and plans unless I've written them down. I just make sure they're there, and then all my concentration goes into how to make those things work, and sometimes I remember why and how I edited something better than I remember coming up with its point. You up to any good or any delicious no-good this weekend? ** Bayxman, Shit, you're spam. You totally got me. Nice sneaky move. And you're hemorrhoid spam to boot. Wtf and what are the odds. ** Please turn your attention now to Joseph's fiction piece, if you haven't already, and then enunciate to Joseph what that attention has created. Thanks a lot! See you in the comments section later in the weekend and then back here on Monday.
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