A Degree in Rodeo ...

Recently our local college decided that they wouldn’t start up a new Aviation Program because they didn’t think the demand in this area was worth the expense of starting up a whole new program. However, they did decide that they should continue with the Rodeo Program. I’ve done a little investigating and I’ve found the first and second semester classes that are offered in the new rodeo degree program.


First Semester:

Loping: Learn to walk like the cowboys do. No strutting allowed.

Whipping up Vittles: Bronco bustin’ bull ridin’ and goat ropin’ works up an appetite, but there’s no pizza delivery available out on the range.

Appreciating Gene Autry: None of that devil worshiping rock ‘n roll.

Cowboy Hat Fitting: The most important part of the cowboy get up is the hat. But, finding the perfect hat is so very hard to do. We’ll teach you how.

Why Spurs Jingle Jangle Jingle: Unlocking the mysteries of this strange and fascinating accessory.


What a cowboy might look like…


Second Semester:

Basic Lassoing: Time to start learning the basics here. If you can’t lasso you can’t do anything in the rodeo world.

Appreciating Roy Rogers: There’s no truth to the myth that you have choose either Gene Autry or Rogers. You can love them both.

Beginning Clown: Not everybody can cut it as a rodeo cowboy. But, even if you do, you’ll need to know how the clowns do what they do to help them protect you. Luckily, these clowns aren’t nearly as creepy as the ones you had at your birthday party as a kid.

Cowboy Terminology: Cowboys use different words than regular people. You need to know them and what they mean.

Chaps Fitting: An ill fitting pair of chaps could be the worst mistake you ever make. The rash in a very uncomfortable place lasts for months.


The following items are the financial responsibility of the cowboy wannabe student:

Wrangler genes
Cowboy boots
Spurs
Flannel shirts
Work gloves
Chaps
Any ribbon or snakes head you might want on your hat*
Bandana
Vasoline (the chaps chafe)
Ben Gay
Athlete’s foot powder

Also, all students are expected to grow facial hair and maintain that “scruffy” look.



*The cowboy hat will be provided when you complete the Cowboy Hat Fitting course.




The second year gets into the animal abuse actual rodeo stuff. Like bronco riding and bull riding and teaching them to lasso goats and calves and pick them up, throw them on the ground and tie them up. This has some application in their dating life too.

Also, line dancing classes that are taught as part of the community outreach classes at night by the college CAN NOT be substituted for the Gene Autry and/or Roy Rogers appreciation classes. If you just can’t stomach Gene and Roy, you’ll have to go into a different line of work. Ya pansy.

Another cowboy...