Special Announcement!

***For Immediate Release***

Cynical Bastard Blog and Bagwine Ruminations along with Blog Talk Radio would like to announce the newest and most exciting show to BTR’s internet talk radio lineup. 

You’re hosts for this new show will be:

Matt-Man


And

Jayman


“I’m With Stupid” will air every Sunday* at 11 AM Eastern (10 AM Central, 9 AM Mountain and 8 AM Pacific times**) and will focus on everything and anything you can think of.  Politics, culture, entertainment, you name it, they’ll cover it. 

“This is a great opportunity to expand our brand and bring our unique kind of entertainment to the masses,” said Matt-Man.  “We think we have a pretty interesting take on society and the things going on and that people will be interested and will want to be a part of the discussion.”

For his part, Jayman’s only comment was “Do radio hosts have groupies?” and “Will this show be heard in Mexico? Cause you know I love Mexican women.”

When asked to comment about their newest show, officials at Blog Talk Radio said “Who?”

So, on Sunday mornings just go RIGHT HERE at 11 AM Eastern time and you too can listen to “I’m With Stupid.”  Hell, you can even join in on the fun by signing up at Blog Talk Radio (It’s free and easy, just like your hosts) and then you can join the chat room and interact with the rest of Matt and Jay’s groupies fans.  And, as if that isn’t enough, you can even call into the show and give the world your .02 cents worth too!  Can you believe that shit?

But, if 11 AM Eastern on Sunday is a bad time for you, *looks over at Linda on the West Coast* then fear not!  All shows are archived and can be listened to 24/7/365.  Hell you can even download the show right from the show page or .. GET THIS .. on iTunes!  Yeah, you can download the show and listen on your iPod like device At. Your. Leisure.  You can’t get a better deal that than people.  Not even at Walmart.  And, unlike the cheap plastic crap you get at Walmart, this show is made right here in the U. S. of A.

Now, I’m not saying that if you don’t listen to this show then you hate America.  But, by not listening there’s a good chance you are rooting for the terrorists to win.  Or, live in France.  

Again, the inaugural episode of “I’m With Stupid” will be broadcast this Sunday, August 29th, 2010 at 11 AM Eastern.  We certainly hope that you will be able to listen live, but if you can’t be sure to wander by and listen to the archives or download the show.  We appreciate your support.


*At some point, probably in November, the show will move to Friday nights at 11 PM Eastern.  Or Maybe Midnight Eastern. We haven’t worked that out yet. 

**That would be at 5 PM in a small village in Spain, just in case Scott Oglesby was wondering. 

In fact, lets just do this …

11 AM Eastern =

7 AM in Wasilla, Alaska in case Sarah Palin is listening (or, preferably Bristol Palin)

6 PM in Kenya in case any members of Barack Obama’s family are listening.

4 PM in Dublin in case any of Matt’s or my extended families are listening.

4 PM in Middlesbrough, England in case any OTHER members of my family might be listening.

7 PM in Moscow in case members of the Russian’s Women’s Curling team are listening.

9 PM in Beijing, 10 PM in Bangkok and 12 AM Monday in both Tokyo and Seoul just in case any of my future mail order ex-wives are listening. 


Other places of interest that might want to tune in are…

Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso:  3 PM Sunday
Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of the Congo:  4 PM Sunday
Cape Town, South Africa: 5 PM Sunday
Amsterdam, the Netherlands:  5 PM Sunday
Tel Aviv, Israel:  6 PM Sunday
Buenos Aires, Argentina:  12 PM Sunday
Sydney, Australia:  1 AM Monday
Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia:  11 PM Sunday

Old Ladies and Barbers Who Talk Non-Stop ....

First a PSA:

AB from Apathy Lounge is finally home and recovering from her very close call and surgery. 

Also, Countrigurl (Ne Baby/Hannah/Single in the City) also had surgery this week and is now home and on the mend.

And, Matt-Man’s BFF Schmoop’s mother is in the hospital and not doing all that well.

I’m sure they would all appreciate your taking a couple of minutes out of your busy day to send some good thoughts and/or prayers their way.

--

So it was time to go to the DMV today.  Now to be fair, our DMV is actually not all that bad.  Even when they’re busy, they move along at a pretty decent pace.  The women who work there know what they’re doing and they keep people moving along.  And, since all records were computerized a few years ago our DMV is very efficient.  I know we’re not allowed to say any gov’t office is efficient, but this one is. 

But, when we arrived there was a bit of a crowd, so I took a seat against the wall and got comfy.  This was helped by the fact that there was a very attractive woman with a very nice ass standing up at the counter being helped.  So, I decided I would spend part of my time waiting by just enjoying the view. 

Well, sure enough about two minutes later here came a little old lady into the office.  And you know what’s coming next, right?  Yeah, about 50 empty seats in the joint, but granny has to sit right in front of me.   So now my only view is her blue hair glistening under the florescent lights.  Obviously she was out getting all errands done in one day.

So anyway, I was like “Hey granny sit somewhere else!  You’re ruining the view!  I’m kicked back here leaning against the wall staring at that blond chick’s perfect ass.  DO. YOU. MIND???”

Okay, not really. 

--

Later it was time to get my haircut and … HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THE GRAY! 


I went ahead and went back the same barber shop I’ve been going to, even though I haven’t been happy with their work.  I’m hoping that she’ll get better and get more used to cutting my weird hair.  And, she actually didn’t do too bad of a job this time.  But, I’m not completely sure that I can keep going back cause she pretty much drives me crazy.  I need to bring a hidden recorder with me so you can listen to this chick.

“Last night my friends came over to the house so I made ice tea for the first since I don’t know when even though my husband is always asking for me to make it but see, I like unsweetened and likes it sweetened so I just tell him to make his own besides I don’t want ice tea at the house cause I drink this unsweetened ice tea from McDonald’s all day long and that’s enough ice tea of course when I tell my husband that he’s like “Ewww GROSS!” but I like it I think it’s really good but like I was saying since we had company and because he and my daughter Madeline have both been asking for ice tea anyway I agreed to make some so we’re all sitting there and I gave Madeline her ice tea and she took about two sips of it and said “Mom can I just have water?” well I just started laughing at that cause I was pretty sure she wouldn’t like ice tea and had only been asking for it because her daddy was but I am happy that she finally stopped wanting to drink milk all day long is now agreeing to drink water cause that milk is expensive HEY RODNEY HOW YA DOIN? JUST TAKE  SEAT anyway I keep checking all the grocery ads in the paper but nobody ever has milk any cheaper than that Great Value stuff at Walmart but you know what?  hey Sonja did I tell you this?  I went to Walmart last week and I wasn’t paying attention can accidentally got  Walmart Great Value one percent milk instead of the two percent I usually get and when I got home I thought oh boy I’ve done it now they’re gonna complain non-stop about this one percent milk but oh well they’ll just have to live with it cause it’s too expensive to just throw it out and you know what? they never said a single word not one word but if I had told them it was one percent they would complained non-stop I guarantee it ….”

Anyway, you get the idea.

If she concentrated as much on haircuts as she does on talking non-stop in a monotone voice she would get my hair cut in less that thirty freaking minutes. 


Okay, so that wasn’t very exciting but look at this way.  I was originally going to blog about health care.  So, now you’re probably pretty happy, right?  Well don’t get too happy, I might blog about it tomorrow. 

But, if I don’t this will be my last post for the week.  I’m gonna be busy and will have family in on Thursday.  I probably won’t  be around to comment much but I’ll be on Twitter. 

More Apologies ...

First, the words for next week’s WWC are “Go Green” and “Square.”


Also, if anyone would like to help out with a Main and Donation drive for MPs stationed in Afghanistan, Hope has all the info you need RIGHT HERE.


So, I after yesterday’s post (I’m not linking to it, all you have to do scroll down one post, is that too much to ask?) I decided that there are a few other people who need to be apologizing for forcing others to be rude or do something stupid.


- Divine Brown should apologize to Liz Hurley for being so damn hot that Hugh Grant couldn’t possibly resist her and forced him to cheat on Liz with her.

- Baseball player Randal Simon should apologize to John Rocker for being an overweight black man. This of course forced Rocker to call him a “Fat Monkey.” Plus, all black, Hispanic, Asian and most certainly gay people should also apologize to Rocker just for living. Which is obviously something he’s not comfortable with.

- Jews should apologize to Mel Gibson for … uh … being Jewish, I guess. Also, that female cop in Malibu should apologize to Gibson for having a great rack, forcing him to call her “Sugar Tits.”

- Black people should apologize to Michael Richards for not sitting in the back and keeping their mouths shut.

- Ireland Baldwin should apologize to her father Alec for her not being right there when he calls every single damn time. Thoughtless little shit.

- Asians should apologize to Rosie O’Donnell for being Asian and talking funny.

- Willow Palin should apologize to David Letterman for having an older sister who got knocked up at 16 forcing Letterman to tell a tasteless joke on his show.

- NBAer Rudy Tomjonavich should apologize to Kermit Washington for getting in the way of Kermit’s fist while he was throwing punches.


- Ron Cey should apologize to Goose Gossage for getting his head in the way of the Goose’s 95+ mph fastball in the ’81 World Series.

- Joe Theismann should apologize to Lawrence Taylor for getting his leg in the way of Taylor’s helmet and getting it crushed.

- Blacks should apologize to Jimmy the Greek for forcing him to get drunk and make all kinds of comments in front of a camera about how blacks have evolved, or not, and why they are superior athletes.

- While they’re at it, blacks should also apologize to Al Campanis. They clearly forced him to go on Nightline and say that blacks lack the intellectual abilities to be upper management of major league baseball teams.

Sure does seem like black people owe a whole lot of people apologies for their being all black and shit.

- Hell, blacks should apologize to the South for making them secede from the union and go to war with the United States.

- Gay men should apologize to Idaho Senator Larry Craig for just being too irresistible while sitting in mens bathrooms.


There are some people who should apologize to me…

- Hot women everywhere should apologize to me for being so damn hot and forcing me to make what some people might consider to be disrespectful comments about them and what I would like to do to them. And for forcing me to stare at them creepily.


- Tea Party people should apologize to me for being so fucking delusional and crazy that I’m forced to mock them.

- Some Mommy Bloggers should apologize to me for annoying the crap outta me and pretending that they invented motherhood forcing me to mock them too.

- Tequila should apologize to me for being so damn tasty and resulting in my drinking too much and doing things that I might regret later.


And yes, I do have an apology that I want to make here..

- I apologize to the woman who cut me off and was then forced to flip me off because when she cut me off she almost him my car. So very sorry about that bitch babe.

Ciara, Spaghetti and WWC ...

My entry for this week’s CIWTFF (The meme that Candice didn’t really start, but I liked so I’m doing it anyway) is R&B singer Ciara!


Oh man she’s awesome. You can follow her on twitter @PrincessSuperC. You’ll see how cool she is there. Not only does she actually interact with her fans, but she posts pics for us, including posting a pic of her new hairdo when she got it did. She also posts audio tweets AND at that same site that she posts those, she takes calls from fans and answers questions and shit. That’s awesome. Aaaaaaaand she also posts videos to twitter for us. In THIS VIDEO RIGHT HERE not only does she talk a bit about what’s going on in her life, but she actually sings for us.

Think about that. Can you name another artists who would actually just sit down at a desk in front of her laptop and sing for her fans like that? Not only does she sing, but she singles beautifully. How many singers could do that? I’m looking at Katy Perry. Seriously, most singers think they’re too good to just sit there without any accompaniment or without getting paid and just sing something for their fans.

Talent is very sexy and Ciara freaking rocks!

--


So I made spaghetti for mom and me last Saturday. And then I listened to three hours of blog talk radio and then was on twitter/blog/facebook and watched a Roseanne marathon on TV Land until like 3 am. Don't tell me I have no life!

Anyway, I chopped up the onion and green pepper and tossed them into the pan to sweat for a bit. Then the hamburger meat along with some garlic powder and Cavender's. No, I didn't go half turkey and half hamburger like some people do. Mom says she hates that combo. I don't think she would even notice if I did that, but just to be nice I stick with the hamburger only.

After it's all browned up and the liquids are drained I pour meat and onions and green peppers back into the pan and then add the Preggo. After I get the heat back up, I set it to simmer for a bit so the meat and spices and everything will get happy before putting on the pasta.

Mom looking at the meat: "When do you put the mushrooms in?"
Me: "Oops. I should do that! Remind me to put the shrooms in when I start heating up the water for the pasta. (I use canned shrooms so they won't take long to cook through.)

Later when I put the water on Mom says: "Don't forget the mushrooms"
Me: "Right, good call!"

So then I clean out the colander cause I'll need it to drain the pasta. Then I fill the big pot with water and then put it on the stove. Once the water comes to a full boil I put in the pasta and some salt so it doesn't stick together. Then I get out the plates and napkins and wait for the pasta. So I drain the pasta when it’s good and cooked and then plate the spaghetti, pour some Parmesan cheese over it and it's the yummiest spaghetti I've ever made.

Mom: "I think you've outdone yourself this time. This is really delicious."
Me: *Looking at the plate of spaghetti in front of me.* "Yeah, and just think about how great it would be if I had remembered the mushrooms."

--

Weekly Words Challenge announcement!!!

Okay, so we all know that Tink quit blogging. *sniff, sniff* So, the WWC was moved to Facebook. But, some people aren’t on there or don’t want to post there or whatever. So, here’s the deal.

I’ll be posting the words each week here also. You can then post your pics to your blog, or to your Facebook page, or to the group page on Facebook (anyone can join, you don’t have to send me or Tink a friend request to be member of the WWC Group. Although it will hurt our feewings. LOL), or just post on your Flickr page. You can always go to the WWC Group page and post a link to your blog or Flickr page or whatever.

See, lots of options people!

And, the words for next week are “H” and “Fade” They were originally the words for this last week, but it was extended a week since we all needed time to recover from the shock and sadness of Tink’s retirement from blogging.

So Whatcha Wann Know?

I don’t have much going on today. I just have a couple of PSA’s for ya.

1. This will be my last blog post until Monday, Dec, 1. Well actually I’ll post sometime Sunday night on the 30th. I’m leaving Saturday for the big city. Yup, I’m going to be hanging out under the bright lights with lots of cosmopolitan people, drawing energy off the buzz of the big city and seeing all the amazing sights.

Wait .. no I’m not. I’m going to Omaha, Nebraska.

I’ll be going up there, hanging out with sensible Midwesterners and doing the family thing for Thanksgiving.

So, that means I won’t be posting next week. Unless I feel the urge to post once or twice, but I doubt it. BUT, I will be sure to make my way around to your blogs a few times. I have to keep all my stalking stills sharp, ya know.

I’ll catch up on the WWC when I get back by doing both this coming week’s and the next week’s words. Then I’ll figure out what to do from there.

2. I’ve done this a couple of times over the last couple of years and I know that many other people have done this too. Tink did it back when I did, and recently Matt-Man and Knight have, so I thought it was time to do it again too.

The floor is open to your questions. Anything you wanna know? Is there anything about me that has been keeping you awake at night? Or it doesn’t have to be about me. It can be about anything. If I don’t have an answer I’ll make something up. Or you could always ask me to make an honest assessment of your legs, booties or boobies if you want. Just throwing the idea out there. ;-)

But, here’s where I’m going to be all different and creative and shit. I’m going to VLOG some of the answers! I might vlog all of them. I might just answer them on video and then post a vlog where I answer a couple of the questions every day for a week. Something like that. Or I might vlog some and just post some answers the old fashioned way. I’m kind of making this up as I go along. Kind of like life itself.

So, come up with a question or two and post them in the comments or email them to me. Feel free to ask them anonymously if you want. I’ll be taking the questions all through next week.

Okay, that’s all I’ve got. Hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and a great week! I’ll still be around some next week when I can. So look busy!

Friday Randomness ...

First a PSA:

Everyone go over to Mrs. D’s blog and congratulate her and Mr. D! Mrs. D is going to have baby #2! Congrats!


So yeah, I kinda disappeared for a few days there. Mostly because I just had nothing to say. Kinda like now.

I was thinking of saying something about the election, but lots of people already have done so much more eloquently than I could. I mean, I guess I could give some fancy analysis about what it all means and how the results mean a lot less than some people on the left want to think they mean, and more than what some people on the right want them to mean, but what’s the point?

I will say though that early voting is the tits! Every single state should allow early voting. It makes things sooooo much better and so much more convenient for the voters. And making it easier to vote and giving people more chances to participate in the electoral process is a good thing. And if I was wondering whether or not I liked the early voting idea, when I saw Fred Barnes on Fox News yelling “This early voting has got to stop!” I knew early voting was good. Anything Fred is that opposed to is definitely good for America.

Okay, in fairness Fred’s biggest problem with early voting is that he was forced to vote along with a bunch of “poor” and “old” people that he clearly doesn’t like to be subjected to.

--

I wonder why it is that when I get a direct message from Twitter I get it on my email, but it doesn’t show up on my Twitter page? Strange.

--

Back to the election, Arkansas voters freaking spazzed out. The voters (not me, I voted NO) voted to ban not only gay adoption, but to ban ANY unmarried couple and single people from being foster parents. That’s just fucking stupid.

We also voted (again not me, I voted NO) to allow the General Assembly to meet in regular session EVERY YEAR instead of every other year as is the law now. WHYYYYYYYY? They do enough damage every two years as it is. Oh and how do they propose to pay for the expenses that go along with the General Assembly being in session every year?? Dumbasses.

Not to mention the stupid fucking water bonds issue.

I did vote YES on the Lottery, which also passed. Normally I vote NO on that, but this time it was a stand alone lottery bill and didn’t include local option for casino gambling. I’m not opposed to casino gambling, I’ve done my fair share of it in my day, I’m just opposed to casino gambling here in Arkansas.

--

Woo hoo! NFL on Thursday Night! What a country!

--

Since I didn’t do a fantasy football post this week I need to post a cheerleader pic today I guess. So, in honor of Moe Wanchuck over at the Palm Isle here are some cute Michigan State Cheerleaders …


--

How ‘bout some more words added to my F-list…

Transition (not Anndi’s blog Transition, of course)
Landslide
Center-right
Center-left
Mandate (not mandate.com though, I mean, if that’s your thing that I’m cool with that)
Liberal agenda
Conservative agenda
Obamacons
Palinites, Palin People, Palinwhatevers
Republican Civil War
Permanent Democratic Majority
Campaign Post-Mortems
Throw *insert name here* under the bus.

The F-list is the brainchild of Death Chic...


Okay, that’s all I’ve got.

Bright, Moody, Safe and Danger ...

First a PSA:

On October 5th my good friend Rockdog and his son will be walking 3 miles in an event that is raising money for Autism research. If you would like to know more about it, and where you could go to sponsor Rockdog and little Rockdog you can check out his blog post on the matter RIGHT HERE.

It’s a very worthy cause!


Also, I received awards in the last week from Akelamalu, Kimmie and Malcolm. And I think Anndi named a Canadian national holiday after me. So, I have that going for me too.

Thanks for the awards guys!


--




Brought to us by the brilliant Tink of Pickled Beef. This week’s words are Safe and Danger.

Aaaaaaaaaand last week’s words were Bright and Moody. So I figured I would make up for last week’s absence and do those words too.

Clickr for biggr in Flickr.

Bright yard decorations...


Buddy II is a really sweet dog, but not all that bright...



Everyone knows that cats are moody, right?


My iMac is kind of moody sometimes too...





Staying safe ....






Always check government warning labels to avoid danger...