i want my sweet escape

there's something about the sand, sea and skies that makes me happy.

due to some certain issues, my heart feels so heavy. i don't feel upset, i feel sad. it's such a small issue, or maybe it isnt, depending on how i choose look at it. why must things be so complex?

baby has gone offshore again..for a whole week.

not too long as compared to normal times, but still long enough to catch me by surprise. decided yesterday and here he is right there right now.

he has no choice. i'm so proud of my hardworking bf.

i dont like to rant openly in a public domain like this. i know the complications and troubles it'll get me into. i wanna update my blog, and this is the only time i can until next week prolly due to my crazily packed schedule, and so happen i'm feeling this way. dowana pretend to be happy.

wed- work, POS prac at night

thurs- work, cell group

fri- work, cell group, midnight prayer meeting

sat- whole day in malacca for early mother's day

sun- church, POS practice, assignments

mon- college starts.

never thought penang could look this nice :)

sorry for sliding back to my blog in such a mellow tone.

you know i'll be fine after this ;)

HTV at 6, leaders meeting. i better get going.

love this picture cos i looked slim.

*group hugs*

love, careen.

feel it throb

stress all over my body. all over my head.
i can feel it throbbing inside my muscles. even harder on my heartbeat.
breathing is more shallow yet harder. wait, it's hardly even audible.

so many things to do, so many things to think about.
so many things running inside my head, lined up waiting to be ticked off my mental "to-do-list".

yet i feel so paralysed as i sit here and write.
so tired, pretty unwell. many many obligations.

can't wait for my sweet escape.
blue cloudy skies, clear sea waters, and sand between my toes.
hand in hand, strolling across the beach. head on his shoulder, enjoying the cool night breeze.

each task will make me stronger.
i will love the feeling of accomplishment, ticking off one task after another.

it's a joy to be busy, a joy to serve.
it's a greater joy to write, to understand, to make my feelings clear.
:)

Job Scope: Intimate Relationship

applied for a Female Usher/Usherer job: RM150/day yesterday night.

got a reply today and this is what i got:

(click to enlarge)

MAJOR WTH??!!

this is the second time i encounter crap like this, and it truly sickens me!

intimate relationship for 1-2 hours for ONLY RM150? how more degrading can it get??

some more still need to confirm, list me down and inform me a week before. need one week prior to that for what? waxing ar??

that's why girls, be careful. sick and stupid human beings are all around.

yes, i didn't censor the e-mail add so girls, look out and remember the e-mail add. unless of course you ARE looking for jobs like that, then it is definitely the right e-mail add for you.

sick!

unpretentious = mean?

it's raining outside, and i'm sitting in the library, clicking away in facebook AGAIN.

it feels rather disappointing and agitating knowing that for the entire day since 8am, i havent learnt anything. yes, you heard me right. classes either end really fast with nothing taught only talked, or just dismissed simply because they aren't enough chairs (???)

let's not talk about paying so much to come here and not learn a single thing (cos that would be a whole different story altogether), but the time wasted. i won't get into the details but yeah, today i'm just here to rant it out.

on a seperate note, i have been trying to be nice one too many times, and i've come to a point that i'm just sick and disgusted at myself for being pretentious.

i don't mean pretentious in a bad way, probably a bad way for myself cos i'm just not being truthful to people who deserve the truth to be put right up their faces, and most of the time i'd just protect their feelings and just be nice no matter how sucky they really are. and that's lying though i've got nice and good intentions. after doing it for almost two decades, it becomes sickening.

my mum told me that since i was little, she could see that i am all out to please the people around me, which makes me so likeable. but in the end i lose cos people would look pass my needs and just take advantage for the fact that, i'm nice, and i won't fight back and offend anybody.

but really, if i continue to be all that nice to people (which they obviously enjoy because they won't feel uneasy around me no matter what they do), i would (1) help them to live in a lie and (2) make myself feel miserable and in the end everyone loses and suffers.

so, when you're really irritated with someone's sucky behavior and you show that you are in fact irritated already, is that being mean?

let me know, because i've grown to please people and care for people's feelings for far too long, that when i start to be real and unpretentious with the people around me, i'm not used to it. however, i'm enjoying it. enjoying the fact that i'm being genuine and honest. it liberates me knowing that i'm being real.

some people are just so thick-skinned, it's either they can't read your facial expressions/body language which is plastered all over you, or they just choose to ignore and continue being irritating.

these days, i'm tasting irritation big time, and i think i'll be stuck with it for a few years.

so you can be assured that from now onwards, if i'm nice to you, i genuinely like you and want to be nice to you.

isn't it nice to know the truth?

life-long hair dilemma

greetings from malacca! ♥♥♥

arrived this afternoon and guess what, due to the extremely bad haze here, dad's decided to make an early departure first thing tomorrow. haha we almost mistaken this historical town for Genting Highlands for all the "mist" in the air.

was watching Glamour's 25 Most Stylish Faces on E! in the evening (yes, that's what i usually watch when i have nothing to do). most celebrities when asked which feature of themselves they love most, they would say their eyes (normal), lips, hair, dimples, boobs.

which got me thinking, what is my favourite feature?
*hmmmm narcissism time* ;)

*twirls hair with finger*
hmmm...i would say my no.1 favourite feature is my pair of eyes :)
that is why i always love to experiment with eye make-ups more than anything else. when i say eyes i include my full eyebrows, long eyelashes, big, black eyes.

but the most important feature to me is still the hair.
to me, if you have a gorgeous face but ugly hair, it just spoils everything. your hair makes or breaks your overall look. it defines your image. a change of hairstyle, and voila! you seem like a totally different person altogether.

i love my hair to bits. its fullness, natural jet black virgin color, texture and everything. but i kinda want to have a change (like really, a visible, obvious change) from having long hair.

but i can't find the guts. maybe not yet. the only bold change i've made for the past 5 years is probably having bangs in the front and that's about it. maybe i just love my hair too much that i just feel insecure without them. i love to feel my hair around my face, neck, back, body, remember?

*sigh*
someone donate some guts.

i want a hairstyle that defines me. a hairstyle that is still 'careen'. i've a few styles in my mind for a long time now, and if i find the guts eventually, i'll know straight what to do with my hair.

charlize theron is beautifuuuuul....
anyway, have been coveting this hairstyle for as long as i can remember. love the whole clean, feminine feel to it. gives a very delicate look. i love :)

love Rihanna's hair too. feminine yet edgy.
but wouldn't wanna have it cos it's too common.
same goes for Posh's bob hairstyle.

okay i'm getting picky. but wouldn't wanna have a super clean and neat cut too. i love the feeling and security that when the wind blows, i know that my hair still looks great and flowy. if i have that clean, tidy hairstyle and the wind blows, am pretty sure my hair will fly in all directions and look messy instead of sexy.

wouldn't wanna have a short, boy cut too. ever. i am just not adventurous like that. i love the feeling of having hair sweeping across my face and neck, and not sticking to the back of my neck like, literally and immovable.

this is a prefect example of how an unsuitable hairstyle can break your look. hahhaha! not everyone can pull off a short center-parted bob. not even Jessica Simpson. she looked lost. like she just arrived from another planet. it just doesn't suit her. maybe she only suits her blonde, curly long locks which looks slutty.

unless you have such sharp, beautiful, gorgeous, breath-taking, mind-blowing face as Agyness Deyn (i adore....), don't even try this hairstyle! it takes the right attitude and personality to pull it off, and sadly i don't. i'm just too sweet ;)

have never been a fan of big, super duper curly hair too. i think it wouldnt suit me. have always been a bigger fan of long, straight/wavy flowy hair than big, super duper curly hair which doesn't look nice when the wind blows. in fact, it looks ridiculous when the wind blows (in the same direction especially. hahaha!!)

sweet as i am (cheh wah, haha bear with me okay...), i still find that i don't suit 'Asian Hairstyles'. like Jap or Korean hair. it's just not me. i am actually not such a cute type so i'd feel disgusting if i have a cute hairstyle like these.

they actually look nice, but i just don't feel that they suit me.

needless to say, crazy gothic emo punk hair is not even an option.

am i too picky or am i too boring?

or maybe i'm just a girl who sticks to whatever's comfortable and prefers to embrace my own style and whatnot.

i don't know. maybe i should just stick to long hair for the rest of my life.
forever and ever.

love, careen.

Gladys is coming back tomorrow woootss~~~!!

for those of you who think that i'm being over-excited i'll smack you!
it's been weeks since i last saw (and bullied) my baby sister (well, not sooooo baby),
and there is NO such thing as over-reacting, can???

somemore my baby dear will be coming back from Bali with his family tomorrow night too.
somemore i'll be having an off day from work (dance excluded) tomorrow too.

will i be a happy girl tomorrow or a SUPER HAPPY GIRL??? :D

.♥.

on an extremely serious note.

i think i'm starting to miss my straight straight long long hair?

i mean, with a hair like this i should be extremely grateful and happy and feeling-totally-hot-and-awesome and all. i mean like, lex cut wan okay ;)

but then again, my that straight straight hair was cut by him also la. so....hehehehe.

my hair used to be like real straight by nature and length too. (below)

caught in the favourite act- eat eat eat!
see my hair used to be so flowy...

the now-hair.

now it is layered and more shapely.
i love it. but i miss my old straight-straight hair.

am i annoying or what?????!

i'm also contemplating whether to dye my hair or not.
some challenged me to dye and experiment with diff things in life.
while some told me to maintain my priceless pure black hair as it suits me best. and one of them is my baby dear.

dilemma dilemma. how?? omgod life is tough.
i'm itching to try new things with myself but at the same time scared that it'll turn out bad and not 'careen' anymore you get what i mean?

omgod i'm feeling sooo irritating today.

am i super annoying or what???!

i think this is a great way to lose my readers and cause my readership and stats to go down the drain. whheeeeeee.....

speaking of missing, i miss.....

the three musketeers. ok i don't miss myself.
so that means i miss the two musketeers :)

okay now plus gladys, i miss the three musketeers.

miss being sampat with them.
there is a diff between being sampat alone and being sampat in a group.

but i'm also used to being sampat alone edi la so i also dunno what i'm talking about actually.

last but not least, i miss my baby dear who's rubbing sand in his toes, sun-tanning and kap-ping all the bikini beach babes in Bali right now.


.♥.




colin farrell + careen tan

= an even hotter guy named Colin Tarrell.

Forget Colin Farrrell already man!!
omgod i'm head-over-heels Colin Tarrrell.

p/s: i think i'm really feeling very sampat today. not forgetting irritating and annoying also.
p/p/s: sowwie for being irritating & annoying. i pwomise i'll change :(

love, careen.

welcome your long lost friend

first up,
why my facebook in malay wan? :/

hello hello i'm still alive don't worry!! yours truly have been busy being sick in malacca, and now busy earning money for building fund. i still have about 30% to go. *phew* praise the Lord!

confession: i think i gained weight. lots of weight omgod!!

i remember i used to stand in front of the mirror and wish that i was slightly fatter so that i look healthier and that my boobs would naturally be bigger too.

and now that i have got what i wished for, i wish that i could take it back and become thin again. being fat is agonizing to my heart and self-esteem!! i've got so many body-fitting clothes and now when i wear them and look into the mirror, i feel depressed. it just doesn't look the same as last time anymore! that's why nowadays i've been wearing not so fitting clothes to hide my fats.

i know this confession of mine would bring many ketuks (knocks) on my head by those who think that i'm no where near fat. and kuchi (tickle) too by my baby dear. but this is really how i feel. to other people, i may not be fat at all. and i don't think that ppl around me are fat also. but i set high standards upon myself, and in my own standard, this is considered fat. i am fat and sad. omgod!

but don't worry, i won't go aneroxic or bulimic because i love food too much to go to that extend. i'll just force myself to exercise everyday and cut down fatty foods. omgosh i love fatty foods. fatty foods equals yummy foods. anyway, i'll also devote myself to lots of healthy foods, and drink lots of fluids to flush away all the fats. (does it work that way, though?)

in the meantime, i'll just wear lots of big clothes to cover all the unsightly parts of the body. huhu...i feel depressed :(

have to wake up early for training tomorrow. let me sleep all the sadness and fats away.

p/s: though i'm fat, i still love you guys.
p/s/s: i hope you still love me too.
p/s/s/s/: okay i just sounded like some ultra insecure freak.

love, careen.

smoke gets in my eyes

omgosh the smoke from my gramma's altar is blinding me!!!! this happens every CNY eve. i'm actually typing these with my eyes closed!

kidding :)

have been in snoozing mode lately. i don't even know what to write when i open my 'new post' window, don't even know what to do when i stand in front of the mirror, thinking i've got my dance choreos all figured out.

let me tell you what i've been up to since i've arrived in my dad's hometown- Malacca.

Day 1 (Thursday):
reached around 8 something. ate a bit. watched tv a bit. ate again. went online. played sims. bed exercised and stretched. talked on the phone. tossed and turned on bed. pillow-talked with sisters. dozed off.

Day 2 (Friday):
woke up around noon. showered. time for lunch. watched tv. napped. went to dad's old church's CNY service. went for supper, didn't eat much. came home, ate a lot. watched tv. played sims. talked on the phone. bed-exercised and stretched. tossed and turned on bed. dozed off.

Day 3 (Saturday):
woke up at noon. showered. time for lunch. went online. supposed to go shopping but decided to stay back to figure out my dance choreos. watched tv. couldn't connect to internet so can't watch dance videos online. played sims. after hours, finally could connect so watched videos. dinner. watched tv. watched videos again. talked on the phone. bed-exercised and stretched. tossed and turned on bed. dozed off.

Day 4 (Sunday):
woke up at 10something (finally). breakfast. went online. helped to prepare reunion lunch. had reunion lunch. helped gramma with decos and stuff. tired and headache. snacked on oranges and cookies. watched tv. dinner. watched tv. went online, which is now.

see how boring the past 3 and a half days of my life has been? :(
probably the Chinese New Year fun has yet to begin? *crosses fingers*

i think the only productive things i've managed to do are:
1. spend time with gramma
2. disciplined myself to exercise and get in shape! *claps for myself for a good 1 hour*
3. watched vids and got some ideas (if that is called productive) *sniffs

i think the more i watch those dance videos, the most inferior and intimidated i feel. i do feel inspired and more motivated to better myself though. that's why i'd been workin out!
i ♥ my legs :D

and when i blog, i don't know what to write and what to say. i don't wanna just write some super random post and just blog for the sake of blogging. i believe my readers can tell if i'm truly wanting to write a post, or just trying to fulfill my responsibility as a good blogger, that is- to update. and that is why yours truly is pouring her frustrations right here in this domain :(

maybe i've been too chillaxed these days that my mind is also not really active.
hahahaha no no no....

i thought CNY cookies could make me happier,
but last year's CNY cookies were much nicer,
and my favourites are not here this time around.
i thought CNY reunion lunch could make me happier,
but again, last year's CNY reunion lunch was nicer, and this time around, daddy's on a less-salt campaign, so the food were less appetizing.
it was great nonetheless, maybe i'm just a hard to please glutton. huhu :(
i thought CNY shopping could make me happier,
but this year, i cut down loads on shopping to save for building fund.
so the marginal utility/utiliti sut is less. and it leaves me feeling disatisfied.

i thought. yes i did. maybe i really do expect too much. but then again, what's life without it's expectations?
like just the other day, i was discussing with Boon on expectations in relationships.

i remember he told me once that a friend of his told him that her relationship with her bf is different- that is, they don't expect from each other.
according to her, where there's no expectation, there's no disappointments, and gradually no arguements, and then no unhappiness in a relationship.

sounds great at first. imagine that, the secret remedy to no arguement and quarrels in a relationship- don't expect, and be happy with your partner and your relationship!

but, think about it for a sec.
if there's no expectations in a relationship,
that also means that there will be no accountability and responsibilty.

for example, the gf does not expect her bf to call her if he's gonna be late to pick her up for a date. and when the bf is late and doesn't call, she waits for 6 hours before he calls and says he forgot and overslept. she can't do anything about it. she can't be upset about it. why? because from the start of the relationship, they've already agreed to not expect anything from each other.

another example. the wife does not expect her husband to provide for the family. and when the husband happens to not work and provide for the family, it's okay. because she does not expect him to provide, put food on the table, and a shelter for the family. same goes to the husband. he does not expect her wife to work as well, or to take care or educate the kids. so when they have no house to live in, no food to eat, kids who are illiterate and with bad behaviour, and they camp in at the neighbourhood pondok until someone decides to donate some money to them. but it's all okay...because they don't expect anything from each other ma..

i don't know how true it is, and to what extend. but in my conviction and opinion,
where there is no expectations, there is no hope.
where there is no expectations, there is no accountability..
and eventually, loss of responsibility as well.

anyway, why are we even at this topic? hahah. ooo it's 12.21am now..so,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!!!!! :DDD

now my sisters are dancing around in the living room watching Channel 509 on Astro.
you know, the China countdown one? nevermind... :/

Pig out, Work out!
Love u guys! Have fun!! ;)

love, careen.

now, where was i?

hey all :)
havent blogged for only 2 days and it felt like ages! especially when so many things happened along the way. will update on the happenings as soon as i have the time ;)
*takes time to post up all the pics and stuff. phew!

and guess what, i did the most impulsive shopping i'd ever done in my entire life yesterday. went to Pyramid right after work, shopped around while sisters had dinner. saw this red floral summer tube dress, and straight away tried it in the fitting room. before i even tried it on, darling called and said he's arriving in a minute! so i did the fastest changing of clothes ever, and look into the mirror for 3 secs, and there i go..walking outta the boutique with a brand new purchase! :D

besides, i also got some good buys from forever21. i was definitely a happy shopper *glees* :D

met soooo many familiar faces in pyramid! there was not even one time that i don't bump into someone familiar! i'm sure it's the same for you too (those who live in Klang Valley, that is). it's also the same for 1u!

hahah that's why i always say, never go pak-toh in these two places if you're in an underground relationship. simply too risky! been there, done that..so take my advice! ;P or at the other extreme, if you can't wait for ppl to know who you're newly with, go there too! :P

-♥-

on a sadder note, yours truly has not been feeling too well :(

have been working for these few days, thus the lack of posts. while working, yours truly needs to stand most of the time..if not, all the time! and because of that, i've been having backache and legs-ache (if there's such word. hahah)

plus lots of washing, cleaning and stuff..and when in a rush, i'm usually quite careless, so there comes all the cuts and bruises.

as for stress, i have been having insomnia :( and this is due to none other than the Hip Hop competition that i willingly signed up for. *pfft*

the competition is on Feb 28..and i've NO choreos figured out at all! None! Nil! Zero!!! :((
talk about the stress it gives me. plus, i don't know what to wear too. and THAT is stressful. the most important and stressful bit, it's an international competition and it is HUGE.

if it's some small inter usj20 dance competition, i wouldn't feel so stressed out. but this is for the entire Malaysia, if not, the whole world too! (as it says in its flyer, open to the world) *gasps deeply and shivers*

nowadays, i don't manage to sleep until 2-3 hourse of lying on the bed, eyes closed but still wide awake, and stuff just running through my mind. steps, choreos, attire, etc. i came up with lots of great choreos, but remembering and putting them into action is another different issue altogether. my mind is active all the time because of that, though i may be physically very drained out. not good. not good. even worse when there's work or morning prayer the next day. arrggh :(

these sum up the current me:

1. lack of sleep + lots of stress = a very very sad girl

2. lots of stress = lots of eating = lots of fats

3. lots if fats = loss of hot body

4. loss of hot body + lots of body pain = physical, emotional & mental suffering.

5. physical, emotional & mental suffering + a repeated cycle from No. 1 till No.4

= a very depressed yours truly :(

thank God after tomorrow's work, yours truly will be escaping to Malacca for CNY for the entire week. no need to think about coffee bean, no need to think about dance world, no need to think about keeping in shape (it's gonna go out of shape anyway..cry about it after CNY), etc etc.

i'll also have more time to sleep, snack, pig out, think about my dance choreo, eat, exercise (?), spend time with family members, eat, snack, pig out, and the cycle keeps repeating... :D

caught in the act. yours truly's journey of gaining weight.
*horror*

before i go, yours truly wishes everyone a

BLESSED CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! :)))
dong dong dong chianggggg!!!

pig out & stay in shape everyone! and that includes myself! :P

Gong Xi Fa Chai, Xin Nien Kuai Le, Wan Shi Ru Ee,
Xin Xiang Shi Chen, Gong Xi Gong Xi!!!! :))


p/s: wah, my han yu pin ying not bad ;)

love, careen.

there's something about caffiene and wine...

...that makes me sleepy and dizzy all the time. not only that, but they make me enjoy for a little while, then leaves me feeling light and flow-y. and that's the reason why yours truly is gonna head for her nappie now.

p/s: think i'm addicted to my mummy's chicken wine. argh i'm still craving for it!
p/p/s: and also lima bintang's curry mutton maggi goreng!! omgosh esther thanks for the intro!!
p/p/p/s: urgh i'm such a glutton who needs to loose all her flabs badly!

:(
goodnap loves!

love, careen.

blue-ish feelin'

have been watching dance videos all day long to get inspirations for my dance competition, which is just about a month away. have got stuff in mind to do, but still no inspiration and more importantly, motivation!!

how? :(

why do i always have to wait till the very last minute to have motivation one? huuhuu :(
probably i should just get my butt off the couch and start dancing instead.

-♥-

got my typhoid jab last night before a drink with jo. gosh i hate injections! i used to hate it with my life, but then now as i grow older, the fear is not so great anymore.

but still! that jab was one of the most painful ones i'd ever had! super painful man..the doc said it penetrates not just skin deep but muscle deep *gulps*.

the pain started to kick in...right before i was asleep. *major sigh* i had prayer meeting the next day and was supposed to wake up at 515am, but then due to the immense pain and lack of sleep, i stayed at home to rest and treat my still aching left arm. it's still swollen and i hope and hope some more that it'd all be gone by tomorrow cos yours truly needs to work and teach dance classes at night.

-♥-

with the injection pain and stress about the competition, yours truly is officially declared feeling blue. yours truly will also be working on the weekends. lagi blue.

*sighs*

:(

love, careen.

of facebook and sisters

i have 154 friend requests pending.

and i would say that half of them are people that i do not know.

or at least i've not seen or spoken to them before but they've seen me around or something.

i don't know. i thought that facebook would be different from friendster because this is like wayy more personal, and that people will not simply add people into their friend list in order that people whom they don't know wouldn't know so much about what's happening in their lives!

such as who became friends with you, who you know, who you're attached to, where u go, what u do, who tagged you, your pictures..those kinda personal stuff.

but seems like all people care is how many friends they have in their list. i strongly disagree in simply adding annoymous individuals or strangers because it is simply unnecessary. most of the time, they do not even drop u a msg or get to know you after adding you. they just wanna well, 'add' you, have an additional 'friend', and probably scroll through your pics and that's it. or worse, they might turn out to be stalkers. *eeeks!

that's why until now i'm still inactive in facebook, and all the friend requests are still pending. adding or even ignoring friend requests becomes so laggy and troublesome! might as well just leave em there. but then if too many requests accumulates, facebook becomes laggy! urgh tell me what i should do. (but for ppl that i truly know, i will definitely add u! soon!!)

i really admire ppl who have so much patience uploading pictures one by one, create so many albums, tag everybody, etc. not that it's not a good thing, don't get me wrong, but i just admire how they do it. they're so constantly updated!

my facebook is kinda dead already actually. i only have two albums. one of which was uploaded two yrs back, and another was uploaded not even halfway. hahahaa that's why i don't wonder why no one bothers to leave anything in my account because if i were them, i would not too. ahhaha!

facebook = nice but laggy.
oh well..enough ranting!
update on the lovelies at home :)

lemme introduce to all you lovely, faithful readers of mine...the new spidergirl baby in town- Evangeline Tan!!

this is the just woke-up-face. puffy and swollen eyes, red nose. hahaha she was watching cartoons, btw. and she's already 9 months old! how time flies!

oh, why spidergirl is because she's been sticking her palm to almost any surface she can find. full length mirrors la, walls la, bed frames la, tv stands la, piano la, tables la, and even humans. and what she'll do with the surfaces is that she'll stick both her sweaty-and-often-sticky-with-dirt-hidden-between-her-fingers-palm against the surfaces, and stand up by pressing on to the surfaces. like this!

hahah cute right! i havent got the chance to capture her doing that..but i will soon.
this girl is seriously determined to learn fast. she even wants to try standing without holding on to anything. she really inspires me :) this is roughly what i'm talking about.
she clung onto Melody and stood up just like that.
and she's actually pretty tall for a 9month old baby.i ♥ her drumstick legs :)
and the pink hair clips ;)Melody and Melody Jr.my baby girl :)

besides this baby, i also have two more babies at home.
though Mel's already 6 and Charity 4 yrs old, they're still my baby and i don't think anything can change that fact. when we have nothing to do at home, and also when we feel creative and all, we'd do photoshoots with them! hahah here are some of the pics.

my Melody. the ever so vain and narcissist sister.
she's always being caught singing like Alison Yap or Faith Yeoh with a 'mic' (comb) in her hand. and trust me, this girl can hit the notes that we grown ups can't.

she loves all things pretty and pink..just like me.
she loves makeup and hairdos..just like me.
she loves dressing up and high heels..just like me.

she destroys my makeups..just like me destroying my mum's.

she loves standing in front of the mirror posing..just like me.

she loves standing in front of the mirror smiling & talking to herself..just like me.

she loves sushi with her life..just like me.

she loves to pose for photographs..just like me.

she loves beauty pageant competitions..just like me.

she prefers speaking English than Chinese..just like me.

she loves to act..just like me.

she loves to dance..just like me.

she loves to perform..just like me.

she loves/wants to blog..just like me.

she loves to worship God..just like me.

she's emotional..just like me.

she likes boon to be around..just like me (but i also love him la. haha)

she loves going to church..just like me.

she loves to be pampered..just like me.

she loves to talk..just like me.

conclusion: she is so like me.

speaking of blogging, when i created this new blog of mine, Melody noticed what u was doing at the comp, and she knew that i was creating a blog. she asked about what blogging is and stuff, and she's pretty attracted to it. so she asked me and Gladys to create one for her.

at first we were pretty amused by that idea..cos it's so cute and funny, so we just simply said we'll do it later. and since then, she's been asking when her blog can be done. and when told that she's too young too blog and all, she gets disappointed and sulks. she still bugs me to create one for her. but ahhh we'll see. hahahaha!

she's so similar to me, that's why sometimes when i get angry with her for bugging me to help her do makeup, or when she destroys my makeups, i tend to feel like i'm angry with myself instead. cos i WAS like that. just the same. so sometimes i just pretend to be angry only cos i know i did it too. hahaha!

omgosh i just did a whole lotta confession over there. now u guys know be better like, 20% more already. hahah. but hey, at least i'm honest and there's nothing for me to hide. that's why u all love me ma... :P

and of course, Charity Tan a.k.a Churity Tan a.k.a Chu a.k.a Chu Pox (when she had chicken pox) a.k.a ChariChu (by Boon) a.k.a Chaeeety Tan.

my baby baby.
while Melody is the can't-wait-to-grow-up baby of mine, Charity is the exact opposite. she's the dowana-grow-up baby. ahahah. she even still looks and smells like a baby!

this is one baby that will be so shy in front of strangers, but then once she knows u better or chooses to like you, u better watch out cos she'll bug u nonstop! (ask boon)

she's one baby you can get down-right crazy with. she'll laugh at the slightest things, and though she is not very eloquent in her speech yet, she somehow manages to send msgs into your heart and you'll love and sayang her to bits.

hard to get her to take proper pics. so below is one of the best and nicest pics of her.
credits to Gladys for her photo-taking skills :)

so pretty, right? :)
sometimes me and Gladys would just sit back and look at the babies, and just admire them. they're so pretty. they're so special. we love them so much :)
without them, i think our family would be so quiet. everyone's grown up now, and everybody'd be busy with their own things. probably our family would be one of those that only meet up for meals on Saturday night kind.

but with them around, they so stealthly bind us together. they bring laughter and joy, and so much meaning. they teach us lessons about life and love everyday.
babies are such blessings from God. :) as for my middle adolesent sisters Serene & Loveen who are the quieter ones, i can also learn things from them. i admit as they grow older, especially in this age where all the rebellion and search for identity comes in, it gets kinda hard for us to communicate and get along at times.

but then, i see myself in them. when i was their age, i was all that they are right now. and this is when i can help them grow, make life and growing up easier for them, teach them things, share experiences and stuff. they might not listen always, but they definitely heard me. and they'll remember :) i love them nonetheless.
as for Gladys..she can be the best buddy and my most terrible enemy all at the same time.
who said that when sisters are grown up they don't fight?? they do! well, at least we do. hahah i know her so well, and she knows me so well, we can either give in to each other, or take advantage of that fact, and purposely not give in.

we can easily share my our opinions and problems with each other. as different as we are from our sense our style to the type of guy we like to our room decos to our choices of food, we still manage to click and love each other despite our differences.

femme fatale don't play play.

(note Melody with her bag. hahha she brings it around with toys inside. she said she does it so that when Evangeline makes noise, she can calm her by giving her toys to play. she's so motherly and thoughtful. and Chariry just doesn't wanna look at the camera! haha oh well).

despite the fact that some of our personalities and behavious might be similar, all of our personalities are different. and i think by being in a big family with different personalities altogether, we learn how to accept people who are different from us, we learn how to get along with different people..which is a blessing to myself especially cos i am one who loves to meet people.

friends come and go (as known and experienced),
but family and siblings really do stay.
i *heart* them though sometimes my actions don't show it.

da jie (big sis) ♥ all of u girls :)

*hugs*

love, careen.