Tea Party!

We held a Tea Part on "I'm With Stupid" today!  Plus there was a very special and exclusive interview with Christine O'Donnell and a surprise phone call by the birthday boy, Matt's son Ryno!  And while he was on the line the uber awesome Knight called in and showed off her amazing voice as she sang "Happy Birthday" to Ryno.   And Mike called in to say "Goodbye."  Well, not forever, but just for this week.  Although I think the show moving to 11 pm eastern on Friday nights might be a problem for him.  Old guys go to bed early, ya know. ;-)

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Even Peter Franchot is Scared

I signed up for Peter Franchot's fan club a while ago so that I could get information about what he's up to. For the most part I don't have a problem with him in his new job. When he was in the General Assembly he was a first class divisive instigator. But since being elected as the Comptroller he has taken a more pragmatic view of politics and I think he's done an okay job.

In an email that I received this week, Franchot's spokesperson said:

Tuesday's elections in Pennsylvania and across the country confirmed what we already knew: 2010 will be an extremely difficult election year for incumbents. Two Republicans have already declared their candidacy for Comptroller, and more will likely follow. It is more important than ever for the people of Maryland to have a strong, independent advocate for fiscal responsibility overseeing the State's finances.

As you can see, despite being in a relatively comfortable situation by being a liberal Democrat in Maryland, incumbents are scared. And they should be. Incumbents should always be scared. We should not have the 90% re-election rate of incumbents. Every day we see examples of the destructive abuse of power. Term limitations I tell you!

Let's Have A Tea Party ....

So, as you probably know over the weekend 600 white people gathered for the National Tea Party Convention thingy held in Nashville, Tennessee.  I know that a lot of you didn't have the $549 entry fee for this shindig, so you weren't able to attend.  But, never fear, I'm here to help you.  Here is a list of the seminars you missed out on by not being able to contribute to Sarah Palin's $100,000 speaking fee.

Barack Obama: Hitler, Stalin or Mussolini?  Or, a little bit of all three?

How Christians, who make up 80% of the population and more than 95% of the government, can claim to be "oppressed."

How to spot a secret Muslim Socialist

How white people are being kept down by the black power structure.

Why republican earmarks are good and democratic earmarks are bad.

Obama's Marxism:  Latin American or old world East European based?

Tim Tebow: The NFL's great white hope

How eliminating all taxes on the wealthy is in poor people's best interests.

Why gay people are so icky

In defense of traditional marriage:  A discussion led By Rush Limbaugh and Rudy Giuliani  and their combined SIX ex-wives.

Celebrities and athletes should shut up and stay out of politics: Led by Jon Voight, Victoria Jackson, Pat Boone, Curt Shilling, Kelsey Grammar and Clint Eastwood.

Taking a wide stance on gay marriage:  Led by Larry Craig

The Jew Menace:  Led by Mel Gibson

How Harry Potter is turning our kids into Satan worshipers

Banning Books: We're doing it for the children.

Is Gratuitous Violence on TV Bad? Answer: It depends on who is getting blown up.

Keeping them mexeecans outta OUR Country

Doing something about those disgusting drug abusers:  Led By Rush Limbaugh

Keeping our discourse respectful:  Led by Ann Coulter


The convention opened with Tom Tancredo calling for going back to the good old days of literacy test for voters.  I don’t think Tom really thought this all the way through.  I’m afraid many of the Tea Party people would be the ones failing the test…

Yeah, I’m thinking the biggest threat to her daughter’s future is her mother’s lack of commitment to education.


Okay, so this person is opposed to “Amensty,” but we still don’t know how they feel about “Amnesty.”


Those rights you’re “useing?”  Other people have them too.


Liberals would be insulted, but apparently you are talking about someone else called “Liberials”


And finally, the ultimate functional illiterate.  The person who reads off note cards while calling President Obama “that teleprompter guy,” Sarah Palin.  Here she is reading notes written on her hand to answer a question that was probably pre-screened…



The only thing I have to say to these people is…




In other, more important news I want to wish a Happy Birthday to two HUGE Sarah Palin fans.

It's Matt-Man's Birthday bitches!!

And, Monday is Starr's Birthday!

Happy Birthday to you both!!

Now Appearing on the Square: The Delusionals ...

So, Saturday morning I was trying to decide what to do and then I heard that it was Tea Party Day in America again! I got really excited and decided to head down to the square to see if we were having a rally here. When I first got there, all I found was a farmer's market, so I thought I was gonna miss out.

Since I was already there I decided to wander past some of the tables and see what people had out. There wasn't much. Nothing that looked too exciting to me. A little bit of produce and some tables full of homemade crafts like candles, jewelry and lamps. But, just as I as about to leave, I saw some people putting signs up around the gazebo. So, I went over to investigate. And sure enough, they were preparing for the Tea Party!!


They began by cranking up the sound system and playing patriotic and gospel music. When they played "God Bless the USA" by Lee Greenwood I teared up a bit and wished Matt-Man had been there to enjoy this great moment with me.

Then they began the actual rally by playing the National Anthem. To my surprise they played Marvin Gay's version that he did at the 1983 NBA All-Star Game.

Haha .. Just kidding. It was Whitney Houston's version from the Super Bowl in '91. Okay, I'm kidding again. It was Faith Hill.

So the Grand Poobah of the local Tea Party chapter opened things up by thanking the HUGE crowd for coming out. Using the same kind of crowd estimating skills Michelle Malkin used to estimate the crowd on the Mall in DC Saturday, I would say that there were around 23,500 people at our party....


Anyway the Grand Fromage gets up there and says that looking out at this gathering reminds him of the great Bolshevik revolution in Russia in 1917. They started with small crowds in small towns there too, and a year later? They had taken charge!!! Woo-hoo!! Revolution BAY-BEEEE!

It was at this point that I considered pointing out that it wasn't a year later, it was more like five years later, AND the Bolsheviks were ... uh ... Socialists founded by Lenin who eventually became the Communist Party. And their revolution resulted in the creation of the Soviet Union. But, it was still early and why make waves, right?

Anyway, this is getting long so I'll hit some highlights for you...

- When one woman mentioned Glenn Beck the crowed cheered and clapped and she yelled out "GLORY BE TO GOD!!!"

- One man said "We are not a partisan group, but let's be honest here. Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid? These people ARE NOT Christians.

- The next woman who spoke discussed the need to vote Nancy Pelosi out of office. Again, everyone cheered and clapped. The fact that Nancy does not represent our district, didn't seem to matter to them. They were going to vote against her somehow.

- When the next woman walked up to the mic I suddenly got worried that they were going to have EVERYONE say a few words. I was completely unprepared and starting trying to think of what I could say. My first thought was the secret Muslim Army Obama is building. But, the woman speaking beat me to it. Oh well, I should have known not to go with the easy and obvious stuff. But, I quickly regrouped and decided to go with the little known fact that Obama has made a secret deal with Mexico and Cuba to allow them to annex the Southern US states. Cuba gets Florida, South Carolina, Georgia and Alabama and Mexico gets Texas, Louisianan, Arkansas and Tennessee. Mexico and Cuba will then fight a bloody, drawn out war and the loser will get Mississippi. Turns out both countries are worried about Mississippi's embarrassingly low graduation rates and are afraid that the people will go straight to their welfare rolls and be a drag on society and put pressure on their social services.

- Next woman told of her painful decision to pull her kid out of school and home school her. She said she prayed and cried over her decision, but on Tuesday of last week, when the kids were forced to listen to Obama's "Indoctrination Speech" she realized "God had led" her to the right choice. Then she began to tear up and while crying told us that the State of California is going to force their children to observe a moment of silence in memory of a HOMO-SECKSHUAL! (Harvey Milk) People in the crowd were noticeably horrified at this.

It was at this point that I began to laugh. I tried to disguise it as crying. Had there been any young hot chicks there I would have tuned up the tears a little in hopes of getting some sympathy from them. But, it was mostly people who are on government health care, so it wasn't worth it.

So, basically that was it. Just a few white people ranging from early 30s to old as Hell, bitching about Obama and all of his anti-American policies and the fact that he's not really an American and he's gonna throw all white people into slavery. Nothing new.

Basically these people are scared. Scared absolutely shitless over some of the most irrational bullshit I've ever heard. They are prepared to believe anything bad about Obama or anyone with a "D" next to their name. Every single thing Obama does is done in the name of destroying America and evidence that they're wrong is actually only proof of the cover up.

They also have a deep sense of entitlement. They firmly believe that they have a God-given right to be in charge. And they see that they aren't in charge and they believe their country has been "stolen" from them. They are convinced that not only is Obama not an American, he really isn't even the legitimately elected President of this country. They can't really explain how that is so, but they believe it with the same fervor that they believe the second coming of Christ is going to happen soon and they're ready to be whisked away to Xanadu. That is where we're all going right?

Anyway, one other thing that's obvious. They're fucking bat-shit crazy. Not a single thing brought up at this rally was even the tiniest bit about principled opposition to Obama's policies. It was all about the illegality and illegitimacy of Obama’s presidency and all the crazy conspiracy theories that have been dreamed up by charlatans who know how easily these people are to bullshit and lead around by the nose. Charlatans who are making an enormous amount of money off the easily duped and prove that P.T. Barnum was absolutely right. There really is a sucker born every minute.

Janeane Garofalo - Open-Minded Bigot

Everyone knows that Keith Olbermann is a fascist left-wing lunatic that takes great pride in free speech, but only when it's applied to other liberal left-wing lunatics. And it only seems fitting that he has guests on his show who are also fascist left-wing extremists that agree with everything he says. Hence, Janeane Garofalo.

If you have not heard, the festively plump Miss Garofalo went off on Conservatives and Republicans and Libertarians alike as being a bunch of black-hating racists. In her bigoted eyes, there is nothing else that can explain the stupid tea parties that were held across the country recently. No - you were not really protesting the government's billion dollar bailouts of the car companies and banks. You, in fact, hate black people.

Apparently, according to obnoxious name-calling Garofalo, if you haven't protested against the Bush Administration (and it seems implied that NO ONE spoke out against the Bush Administration), then you are a racist and your free speech and rights to assemble have been revoked.

If if weren't for the fact that this tattoo-besmirched atheist has a pedestal to stand behind because of her "celebrity" status, we would all ignore her and her liberal propaganda and she would eventually go away, just like Cindy Sheehan and Jerry Falwell. But instead, I get to call her names like poop-head, because, as far as I know, I still have my first amendment rights. Oh, and I'm not a racist, despite what Janeane thinks. And I feel no need to prove it.