Let's Have A Tea Party ....

So, as you probably know over the weekend 600 white people gathered for the National Tea Party Convention thingy held in Nashville, Tennessee.  I know that a lot of you didn't have the $549 entry fee for this shindig, so you weren't able to attend.  But, never fear, I'm here to help you.  Here is a list of the seminars you missed out on by not being able to contribute to Sarah Palin's $100,000 speaking fee.

Barack Obama: Hitler, Stalin or Mussolini?  Or, a little bit of all three?

How Christians, who make up 80% of the population and more than 95% of the government, can claim to be "oppressed."

How to spot a secret Muslim Socialist

How white people are being kept down by the black power structure.

Why republican earmarks are good and democratic earmarks are bad.

Obama's Marxism:  Latin American or old world East European based?

Tim Tebow: The NFL's great white hope

How eliminating all taxes on the wealthy is in poor people's best interests.

Why gay people are so icky

In defense of traditional marriage:  A discussion led By Rush Limbaugh and Rudy Giuliani  and their combined SIX ex-wives.

Celebrities and athletes should shut up and stay out of politics: Led by Jon Voight, Victoria Jackson, Pat Boone, Curt Shilling, Kelsey Grammar and Clint Eastwood.

Taking a wide stance on gay marriage:  Led by Larry Craig

The Jew Menace:  Led by Mel Gibson

How Harry Potter is turning our kids into Satan worshipers

Banning Books: We're doing it for the children.

Is Gratuitous Violence on TV Bad? Answer: It depends on who is getting blown up.

Keeping them mexeecans outta OUR Country

Doing something about those disgusting drug abusers:  Led By Rush Limbaugh

Keeping our discourse respectful:  Led by Ann Coulter


The convention opened with Tom Tancredo calling for going back to the good old days of literacy test for voters.  I don’t think Tom really thought this all the way through.  I’m afraid many of the Tea Party people would be the ones failing the test…

Yeah, I’m thinking the biggest threat to her daughter’s future is her mother’s lack of commitment to education.


Okay, so this person is opposed to “Amensty,” but we still don’t know how they feel about “Amnesty.”


Those rights you’re “useing?”  Other people have them too.


Liberals would be insulted, but apparently you are talking about someone else called “Liberials”


And finally, the ultimate functional illiterate.  The person who reads off note cards while calling President Obama “that teleprompter guy,” Sarah Palin.  Here she is reading notes written on her hand to answer a question that was probably pre-screened…



The only thing I have to say to these people is…




In other, more important news I want to wish a Happy Birthday to two HUGE Sarah Palin fans.

It's Matt-Man's Birthday bitches!!

And, Monday is Starr's Birthday!

Happy Birthday to you both!!