Since I was already there I decided to wander past some of the tables and see what people had out. There wasn't much. Nothing that looked too exciting to me. A little bit of produce and some tables full of homemade crafts like candles, jewelry and lamps. But, just as I as about to leave, I saw some people putting signs up around the gazebo. So, I went over to investigate. And sure enough, they were preparing for the Tea Party!!
They began by cranking up the sound system and playing patriotic and gospel music. When they played "God Bless the USA" by Lee Greenwood I teared up a bit and wished Matt-Man had been there to enjoy this great moment with me.
Then they began the actual rally by playing the National Anthem. To my surprise they played Marvin Gay's version that he did at the 1983 NBA All-Star Game.
Haha .. Just kidding. It was Whitney Houston's version from the Super Bowl in '91. Okay, I'm kidding again. It was Faith Hill.
So the Grand Poobah of the local Tea Party chapter opened things up by thanking the HUGE crowd for coming out. Using the same kind of crowd estimating skills Michelle Malkin used to estimate the crowd on the Mall in DC Saturday, I would say that there were around 23,500 people at our party....
Anyway the Grand Fromage gets up there and says that looking out at this gathering reminds him of the great Bolshevik revolution in Russia in 1917. They started with small crowds in small towns there too, and a year later? They had taken charge!!! Woo-hoo!! Revolution BAY-BEEEE!
It was at this point that I considered pointing out that it wasn't a year later, it was more like five years later, AND the Bolsheviks were ... uh ... Socialists founded by Lenin who eventually became the Communist Party. And their revolution resulted in the creation of the Soviet Union. But, it was still early and why make waves, right?
Anyway, this is getting long so I'll hit some highlights for you...
- When one woman mentioned Glenn Beck the crowed cheered and clapped and she yelled out "GLORY BE TO GOD!!!"
- One man said "We are not a partisan group, but let's be honest here. Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid? These people ARE NOT Christians.
- The next woman who spoke discussed the need to vote Nancy Pelosi out of office. Again, everyone cheered and clapped. The fact that Nancy does not represent our district, didn't seem to matter to them. They were going to vote against her somehow.
- When the next woman walked up to the mic I suddenly got worried that they were going to have EVERYONE say a few words. I was completely unprepared and starting trying to think of what I could say. My first thought was the secret Muslim Army Obama is building. But, the woman speaking beat me to it. Oh well, I should have known not to go with the easy and obvious stuff. But, I quickly regrouped and decided to go with the little known fact that Obama has made a secret deal with Mexico and Cuba to allow them to annex the Southern US states. Cuba gets Florida, South Carolina, Georgia and Alabama and Mexico gets Texas, Louisianan, Arkansas and Tennessee. Mexico and Cuba will then fight a bloody, drawn out war and the loser will get Mississippi. Turns out both countries are worried about Mississippi's embarrassingly low graduation rates and are afraid that the people will go straight to their welfare rolls and be a drag on society and put pressure on their social services.
- Next woman told of her painful decision to pull her kid out of school and home school her. She said she prayed and cried over her decision, but on Tuesday of last week, when the kids were forced to listen to Obama's "Indoctrination Speech" she realized "God had led" her to the right choice. Then she began to tear up and while crying told us that the State of California is going to force their children to observe a moment of silence in memory of a HOMO-SECKSHUAL! (Harvey Milk) People in the crowd were noticeably horrified at this.
It was at this point that I began to laugh. I tried to disguise it as crying. Had there been any young hot chicks there I would have tuned up the tears a little in hopes of getting some sympathy from them. But, it was mostly people who are on government health care, so it wasn't worth it.
So, basically that was it. Just a few white people ranging from early 30s to old as Hell, bitching about Obama and all of his anti-American policies and the fact that he's not really an American and he's gonna throw all white people into slavery. Nothing new.
Basically these people are scared. Scared absolutely shitless over some of the most irrational bullshit I've ever heard. They are prepared to believe anything bad about Obama or anyone with a "D" next to their name. Every single thing Obama does is done in the name of destroying America and evidence that they're wrong is actually only proof of the cover up.
They also have a deep sense of entitlement. They firmly believe that they have a God-given right to be in charge. And they see that they aren't in charge and they believe their country has been "stolen" from them. They are convinced that not only is Obama not an American, he really isn't even the legitimately elected President of this country. They can't really explain how that is so, but they believe it with the same fervor that they believe the second coming of Christ is going to happen soon and they're ready to be whisked away to Xanadu. That is where we're all going right?
Anyway, one other thing that's obvious. They're fucking bat-shit crazy. Not a single thing brought up at this rally was even the tiniest bit about principled opposition to Obama's policies. It was all about the illegality and illegitimacy of Obama’s presidency and all the crazy conspiracy theories that have been dreamed up by charlatans who know how easily these people are to bullshit and lead around by the nose. Charlatans who are making an enormous amount of money off the easily duped and prove that P.T. Barnum was absolutely right. There really is a sucker born every minute.
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