Rapture Checklist

Everyone is talking about the Rapture. If you've been busy watching Jersey Shore, let me fill you in. Rapture is Judgment Day. It is the day that the heavens will open up and the Christians will be lifted up to heaven to live in eternal peace with Jesus. So, all you Jews, Muslims, and Tom Cruise fans - you're basically screwed.

There has been a lot of controversy about when Judgment Day would happen. 1526? 1610? 1866? 1984? 2000? What year was Martin O'Malley elected? That certainly made some people feel like it was the end of the world.

So now many are claiming that May 21st will be the end. It will start with earthquakes that will round the globe, destroying the continents, killing the masses, and virtually ending the Middle-East peace talks. It will destroy the world through the time zones at 6 o'clock. I'm not sure if that's am or pm, or daylight savings time or standard time. Will the end of the world happen an hour later in Arizona? (they don't follow daylight savings time)

With this end of the world things coming, it got me thinking. What do I need to do before I'm raised to my maker, or sent to have a seat next to Hitler, Osama bin Laden, and Aaron Burr? If I'm sent to hell, do I have to sit next to Keith Olbermann? That would suck.

So here's a list of everything I need to accomplish before the end of the world tomorrow:

1) Cut the lawn
2) cut those lower hanging branches on the tree out front
3) wash the Honda
4) clean the fish tank
5) make out with Reese Witherspoon
6) fly an airplane
7) lose 25 pounds
8) have a beer with Tom Selleck
9) visit Vancouver
10) finish reading Red by Sammy Hagar
11) get a lower back massage by Sheryl Crow
12) refill the propane tank for the grill
13) replace and rotate the rear tires on the van
14) finish watching Season 4 of 30 Rock
15) eat the rest of the turkey in the frig before it goes bad

Once I get those things accomplished I'll feel much better. Can't leave those things left open-ended. What do you need to do before the end of the world?

All The Help You Need...

That's right bitches! Five straight days of blogging! And ACTUAL blog posts too. Not just pimping the show. I mean, I did pimp the show yesterday, but that's because the show WAS yesterday. But, along with the pimping was a tale about a sweet dream I had about the amazing Knight. So, entertainment was had.

Of course today it's about the radio show. Did you listen last night? What? It's an outrage! Well, here. Let me make it easier for you to listen. Not only can you listen on the show's main page RIGHT HERE. But, you can also listen using this player:

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

OR … You can go to our Podbean page and find ALL of our shows there and listen WITHOUT THE AD THAT BTR RUNS! Oh yeah! That's right people. Because I am ALWAYS thinking about way to make YOUR listening experience better, I got us hooked up with Podbean where you can listen AD FREE.

We also have a Blog Page on Podbean RIGHT HERE. But, as of right now, the only thing that will be posted there are show highlights. Which is totally cool if you want to listen to those too. But they're mostly meant to try to draw people into listen to the show. Well, actually I'll probably upload the show to that site too, but it will be a few days after the show runs since we don't get credit for any plays through that blog on our BTR stats. But, we do get credit for anything that is played through out other Podbean page linked to above.

Of course, if wanted to, you could always put the shows RSS Feed into your Google Reader:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/im-with-stupid.rss

Then, when a new show is scheduled it'll show up. And when the show is done you will be able to listen in their player WITHOUT ADS AGAIN! Fuck YEAH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND! Guess what else I've done. Oh yeah. I've submitted our show to iTunes and once approved (hopefully next week) you will be able to subscribe to the show on iTunes and automatically download that baby straight to your iPhone or iPad or whatever the hell you use.

Good LORD am I helpful or WHAT?

What's that? “More like desperate?”

That hurts.

Anyhoodle, beginning next week, in accordance whit BTR's new bullshit rules, “I'm With Stupid” will be going to 30 minutes. Our first thirty minute show will be a Super Bowl Party where we'll preview the game AND preview the food and refreshments that we recommend at a party of this magnitude. You won't wanna miss this one people!

But, until then? You can totally take advantage of all the ways in which you can listen to “I'm With Stupid.” And, you can listen over and over and over again. Just for the fun of it.

Also, here's Keith Olberman's first correspondence piece for us from last night

Oops .. That was the outtake. Here's his piece...

Best News of Year - Olbermann Out at MSNBC

Finally!! News that makes the majority of Americans happy. Keith Olbermann was a) fired, b) quit, c) contract was not renewed. But who gives a rat's-butt? He's gone. That's what is important. No more Olbermann on MSNBC, the liberal home for talk television.

For those of you living under a rock, Keith Olbermann was even embarassing hardcore liberals with his leftist hate-filled tirades. He preached how Republicans were morons and used harsh language to constantly attack them. He said that Republicans were intolerant and hated people. Olbermann was extremely passionate about his beliefs. He certainly came off as being intolerant and hated people who didn't agree with this socialist-leaning beliefs. Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?

He was a pain in the butt when he was on ESPN. He was a pain in the butt during his first showing on MSNBC. He was a pain in the butt when he was on Football Night in America. He was a pain in the butt during his second stint at MSNBC.

And for a guy who always preached about what he thought was right and what was wrong, he certainly got himself into trouble for doing what was wrong. He contributed to political candidates several times (including Representative Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona), a clear violation of MSNBC policy. But he didn't care. He was the "real" Maverick.

So where will he end up now? Is he going to make a run for the Presidency on the Lunatic ticket? Will he try to rejoin ESPN again? Or will he just shut up and go away? We can only hope.

Massachusetts Exit Poll

In a race that could shock not only Massachusetts, but the entire United States Senate, it appears that Republican Senatorial candidate Scott Brown is edging out Democratic candidate Martha Coakley, the potentially new liberal lapdog of racist Senate Leader Harry Reid.

Could this be another chance for the general public to tell the Congress that their socialized healthcare plan sucks? We already saw Virginia and New Jersey kick out Democrats in a sure sign of protest.

My sources in Massachusetts indicate that the liberals are hanging out in the taverns eating chowda, while the conservatives are thronging to the polls (is that an grammatically clause?).

Obama showed up in Massachusetts the other day to help make Coakley look good, but it may have been the icing on the cake. In what was a 50-50 tie in early polling is showing a 55-45 exit poll in actual voting.

On a funny note, the host of MSNBC's liberal propaganda show, Countdown With Keith Olbermann, Keith Olbermann, is so fired up that has repeatedly peed his pants today and is threatening to call everyone a racist unless the Justice Department nullifies the election and lets him choose the candidate.

What's sad is that all Congress had to do was change some laws on healthcare, such as make preexisting conditions illegal and relax the requirements to get on Medicaid. Had they done that we'd be done talking about this. But instead, Congress wants to re-engineer the entire system and screw the entire population.

I saw a t-shirt on an old man that said, "Shove it down my throat in 2009 and I'll stick it in your ass in 2010!"

For the record, the last Republican to win an election in Massachusetts is Edward Brooke in 1967.