This is way late, but like Martin O'Malley, I think we should just keep moving forward.
January
Chesley Sullenburger successfully lands a Charlotte-bound United Airlines Airbus A320 in the Hudson River after a double bird-strike over New York City. No passengers were injured and Sully is hailed as a hero. No word from United Airlines if the Hudson River will be a permanent layover stop for North Carolina-bound flights.
Americans saw the 43rd different man who was raised by a white woman to be sworn in as President of the United States. Obama quickly stated, "remember all those promises I made? Psych!!!"
Blogger Eludius goes under the knife to repair a hernia. He is forced to stay home from work for nearly 2 weeks, sleep, and watch dozens of movies. Eludius then spends the rest of the year trying to get additional hernias.
Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon is indicted on 12 counts including perjury, theft, and misconduct. She ducks the critics and gives the O'Malley-esque ambiguous rhetoric that she needs to keep the city moving forward. Meanwhile, hundreds of poor children go without the toys as Mayor Dixon buys thousands of dollars worth of bling for herself.
Nadya Suleman, an only-child better known as the Octomom, gives birth to 316 babies at one time. She already has 75 children and hopes to have more. Her goal is to house an entire elementary school in her vagina.
February
The hated Pittsburgh Steelers won the 43rd Super Bowl defeating the Arizona Cardinals 27-23. Fortunately for viewers, half-time performer Bruce Springsteen did not have any wardrobe malfunctions.
Former Congressman Tom Daschle withdrawals his name for Secretary of Health and Human Services after it is revealed that he doesn't like to pay taxes. However, Timothy Geithner, who also didn't pay his taxes, is nominated and confirmed as Secretary of the Treasury, the cabinet position that is in charge of money, without question.
New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez admits to using performance enhancing steroids, but Major League Baseball declines to punish him because of his continued collapse in the playoffs.
President Obama announces that he is setting a date to end the war in Iraq. By 2752 all American soldiers will be out of the country.
March
President Obama quickly follows up his target date to end the war in Iraq by declaring a surge in the war in Afghanistan. Throngs of cheering liberals suddenly fall silent.
Later in the month President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton declare the U.S. will spend $40 million to ensure that the elections in Afghanistan are free, safe, just, and that our guy gets elected.
April
World leaders at the G20 conference rally and commit to spending $1.1 trillion to fix the financial crisis. AIG gets most of that and promptly uses the money to pay their top executives million dollar bonuses.
North Korean President Kim Jong-Il is elected to his 5th term as President by the North Korean Parliament. Kim claimed that the entire North Korean army being inside Parliament at the time of the election in no way influenced the voting.
Illinois Governor Rod Blogojevich is indicted on 16 felony counts of corruption for selling Obama's U.S. Senate seat to the highest bidder. Blogojevich is forced out of office and into a career in reality television shows, but the winning bidder, Roland Burris, is allowed to stay in office.
The University of North Carolina wins the men's NCAA Basketball Championship. I have nothing funny to say about it, other than my wife is making me put this on the list as she is a 1994 Tar Heel graduate.
The United States declares a public health emergency over the swine flu. Though some people die, millions of others get a mild flu-like symptoms that include temperatures and a sore throat, so they stay home from school or work and are forced to watch Drew Carey destroy what was The Price is Right.
Supreme Court Justice David Souter announces his retirement after he fell off of the left-side of the bench. You may recall that the Socialist-sympathizing Souter wrote the opinion that the government has the right to confiscate your property and use it for other purposes if it will generate more tax revenue.
Unemployment reaches 8.5% while General Motors announces that it will scrap Pontiac. Instead, GM will focus on producing geriatric-centric vehicles like Buick and Chevrolet. GM then continues to lose ground in the auto industry and has no idea why.
May
The United States Senate passes tough new credit card laws designed to regulate the industry. Eager to beat the deadline before the law goes into effect, credit card companies dump millions of deadbeats and jack up interest rates to 75% on all of the other chumps.
June
Several days away from summer, the hated Pittsburgh Penguins won Lord Stanley's Cup in the NHL championship, defeating the Detroit Red Wings 4 games to 3. Sidney Crosby considered the best hockey player ever by ESPN, continued to prove that he is the 2nd best player on the team after Evgeni Malkin who totaled 36 points in the playoffs. It was 30° on the ice, but 80° outside. Several delusional Pittsburgh fans start cheering "Pittsburgh, city of champions!", but fortunately the Pirates still suck.
Also in June the Los Angeles Lakers defeated the Orlando Magic in the NBA championship. In a pre-tournament meeting the NBA referees decided to let the Lakers win after a 5 gave series and that Kobe Bryant would be allowed to foul as much as needed in order to get enough points to earn the MVP award. The referees and the NBA denied any wrong-doing.
Men who were teenagers in the late 1970's and early 1980's mourned the death of actress and poster-model Farrah Fawcett who passed away from anal cancer. Perhaps best known as Jill Munroe on Charlie's Angels, she was once married to Lee Majors, the Bionic Man, and was in a domestic partnership with Ryan O'Neal. She was 62.
Not to be outdone my Fawcett, Michael Jackson allegedly died the same day, the story being broken by TMZ, after being put to sleep by an anesthesiologist per MJ's request. However, critics claimed that Michael Jackson's soul has been dead for years and his body has only been functioning because of robotics and experimental cosmetics. Millions of emotionally unbalanced people swarmed Los Angeles to mourn his loss.
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford admits to lying to everyone and having an affair with an Argentine woman. A staunch critic of Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky, Sanford refuses to step down because, as he stated, at least his girlfriend wasn't chubby.
Unemployment in the United States reaches 9.4% while Bernie Madoff swindled billions of dollars from investors in a Ponzi-scheme. Madoff is sentenced to 150 years in prison, at which time he plans to reopen his investment company and form an alliance with Morgan Stanley and turn a new leaf on life.
July
Alaskan Governor and former Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin resigns from office stating her desire to be the manager of her son-in-law's nude modeling career.
Three New Jersey mayors are arrested on corruption charges. Their names are Tony Soprano, Tony Gambino, and Tony Castellano. No one saw it coming.
Unemployment reaches 9.5% as Goldman Sachs reports a profit of $3.44 billion, most of the profit coming from the $3.44 billion in bailout money received from the Treasury. The company uses profits to pay its executives huge bonuses for their hard work.
August
Former Louisiana Democratic Congressman William Jefferson is convicted of bribery, racketeering, and money laundering. Investigators found money stashed in his freezer. Jefferson claimed it was safer in his freezer than in the stock market.
The great promoter of socialism for the common people, millionaire Senator Ted Kennedy, the drunken brother of former President John F. Kennedy and former Attorney General and Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy, passed away after a valiant battle with brain cancer. Fortunately for Mr. Kennedy he didn't drown in a river after some drunk driver drove him off of a bridge and walked away and didn't report it to the police until the next day. Only common people go to jail for such things.
Obama pushes the Cash for Clunkers program to invigorate the economy. Used cars are required to be destroyed by filling them with deadly toxic acid and dumping them in junk yards. Liberals praise the program as a way to clean the environment. Meanwhile, millions of Americans by Japanese cars in August, but no one buys any cars for the rest of the year, sending car makers into an even greater depression.
Blogger Eludius celebrates his birthday while simultaneously being nominated by various anonymous readers as the best political blog in the universe.
September
Serena Williams loses her temper at the U.S. Open on a questionable call and excoriates the line judge by telling her she will shove her sister Venus down the judge's throat.
President Obama speaks to children across the nation via a special webcast. Initially created as a quick way to indoctrinate impressionable minds to the advantages of tax and spend liberal propaganda, parents riot and burn down schools and refuse to bring extra boxes of tissues to school until Obama changes his tune, which he eventually does. The new webcast is a 10 second blip of him telling kids to stay in school.
South Carolina Republican Joe Wilson yells out, "You lie!!" at Obama during a speech promoting socialized healthcare. Congressman Wilson is quickly rebuked for pointing out the Obama lies, but Wilson claims that he will refrain from speaking the truth in the future.
The Center for Disease Control announces that a swine flu vaccine will be available later in the year, just in time for the disease to have already infected everyone. In related news, the pork industry lobbies health officials to stop calling it the swine flu because pork sales are way down. The name for the disease will now be Rosie O'Donnell.
October
The New York Yankees purchased their 27th World Series title. Critics say that their $8 billion payroll is the reason, but General Manager Brian Cashman argues that he bought the World Series fair and square.
Federal employees are officially banned from texting while driving. The message was sent to the Blackberries of all federal employees during rush hour so that they could read the message while they were driving.
President Obama declares that his economic recovery plan has saved millions of jobs in the United States. He points to millions of people with jobs as evidence to support his claim.
General Motors announces that it will also discontinue the Saturn line after they finally realized that those cars are ugly as crap. The company will focus on subcompacts while sales continue to fall for the once thriving American car company, but executives still have no idea why.
Unemployment in the United States surges to 9.8% as Obama demands banks stop paying executives huge bonuses. Several bank executives suffer from sever joint strains while giving the President the finger.
November
Best known as the D.C. Beltway Sniper, John Allen Muhammad was executed in Virginia by lethal injection. Neighboring Maryland Governor and raging anti-death penalty advocate Martin O'Malley condemned the execution and stated that we need to do more to protect the lives of mass murderers.
A shooting at Fort Hood in Texas claim the lives of 13 people with 31 injured. Self-proclaimed al-Qaida terrorist Army Major Malik Hasan is a prime suspect after he announced for months that jihad was necessary and he would kill everyone. Military officials continue to question him to find out if he is really the shooter and whether or not it is politically correct to imprison him.
Obama announces expanded government aid to people that are unable to pay their mortgages. Those that are nearly bankrupt, but have been making their payments are ineligible for aid. Those that have been having rave parties, driving Hummers, and spending what cash they have like a prostitute at a slot machine will continue to be eligible to receive tax-payer-backed funding.
December
GM Chief Executive Fritz Henderson resigns as he is tired of the government telling him what to do. As the largest shareholder, the government is pushing GM to produce tiny economy cars that seat 2, are made of plastic, and get 40 miles per gallon. Unfortunately for GM, Americans continue to buy Honda Accords that weigh 2000 pounds and get about 28 miles per gallon. Sales of GM cars continue to slide and no one has any idea why.
Police are called to the scene of an accident in Florida only to find Tiger Woods' vehicle smashed into a tree with Tiger lying on the ground with a 3 iron wrapped around his neck. Tiger's wife, Swedish model Elin Nordergren admits that Tiger went down 5 seconds into an ultimate fight club match with her after she found out that he was hooking up with trashy New Jersey waitresses. Tiger officially changes his name to Cheetah.
And that is 2009 as I remember it.
Showing posts with label Ted Kennedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ted Kennedy. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Swine Flu Prediction
Not since the 1969 when a drunk Ted Kennedy drove off of bridge that killed Mary Jo Kopechne has there been as much hoopla in our country as the H1N1 virus, better known as the swine flu. However, unlike Ted Kennedy who did not report this incident until the next morning, the H1N1 gets more reporting than anything else in this country - even more than Baltimore City Mayor Sheila Dixon's multiple ethics violations and investigations.
Many absent-minded Americans wonder when the pandemic will arrive and destroy all mankind as we know it. While there is a lot that we don't know about the swine flu, there is much that we do know.
We know that this is not the first swine flu outbreak in this county. In fact, there have been several in the recent past. There was the mass hysteria in 1976, a less hysterical one in 1988 that killed one person, and another in 1998 that injured several pigs. In 1976, F. David Matthews, the Director of Health, Education, and Welfare (now called the Department of Health and Human Services), infamously predicted that the 1976 strain would kill one million Americans. He was off by 999,999. Only one person died.
We also know that the overwhelming majority of people that are contracting the swine flu exhibit mild flu-like symptoms that require them to watch The Price is Right for a couple of days before returning to work or classes.
We also know that more people are killed by seasonal flu every day than the total number of deaths associated with this year's H1N1 strain. However, the seasonal flu is like the Baltimore Orioles - no one gives a crap.
However, as Obama's White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel so arrogantly stated on CBS' Face the Nation, "Never allow a crisis to go to waste. They are opportunities to do big things." Emanuel's communist tendencies are indicative of the Obama administration's thinking and have pushed our government to spend billions of dollars for a vaccine to help stop the spread of this virus.
So here is my prediction:
First - if the government does nothing, a few thousand people will get the virus and maybe a few dozen Americans will die - the overwhelming majority of those with existing illnesses and compromised immune systems. We will have saved billions of dollars.
Second - the government spends billions of dollars educating people about the benefits of washing their hands and getting a hurried untested flu shot to the market, a few thousand people will get the virus and a few dozen will die, and thousands of others will suffer the unintended long-term effects of an untested vaccine. However, by using this method, the government can say, "Look, our coordinated efforts helped prevent this from being a far worse pandemic that it could have been. We've made a strategic investment in the health of our working class families and that investment has paid off."
In the eyes of any politician, the second option is always better than the first.
Many absent-minded Americans wonder when the pandemic will arrive and destroy all mankind as we know it. While there is a lot that we don't know about the swine flu, there is much that we do know.
We know that this is not the first swine flu outbreak in this county. In fact, there have been several in the recent past. There was the mass hysteria in 1976, a less hysterical one in 1988 that killed one person, and another in 1998 that injured several pigs. In 1976, F. David Matthews, the Director of Health, Education, and Welfare (now called the Department of Health and Human Services), infamously predicted that the 1976 strain would kill one million Americans. He was off by 999,999. Only one person died.
We also know that the overwhelming majority of people that are contracting the swine flu exhibit mild flu-like symptoms that require them to watch The Price is Right for a couple of days before returning to work or classes.
We also know that more people are killed by seasonal flu every day than the total number of deaths associated with this year's H1N1 strain. However, the seasonal flu is like the Baltimore Orioles - no one gives a crap.
However, as Obama's White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel so arrogantly stated on CBS' Face the Nation, "Never allow a crisis to go to waste. They are opportunities to do big things." Emanuel's communist tendencies are indicative of the Obama administration's thinking and have pushed our government to spend billions of dollars for a vaccine to help stop the spread of this virus.
So here is my prediction:
First - if the government does nothing, a few thousand people will get the virus and maybe a few dozen Americans will die - the overwhelming majority of those with existing illnesses and compromised immune systems. We will have saved billions of dollars.
Second - the government spends billions of dollars educating people about the benefits of washing their hands and getting a hurried untested flu shot to the market, a few thousand people will get the virus and a few dozen will die, and thousands of others will suffer the unintended long-term effects of an untested vaccine. However, by using this method, the government can say, "Look, our coordinated efforts helped prevent this from being a far worse pandemic that it could have been. We've made a strategic investment in the health of our working class families and that investment has paid off."
In the eyes of any politician, the second option is always better than the first.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Funeral TV ...
So I spent the weekend, well Friday evening and Saturday watching all the Kennedy festivities. Why? Because that’s what I do. Like a drunk to a good dive bar, I’m drawn to these things by an invisible power that I have no ability to resist. A few years ago, after Pope John Paul II, or JayPeeToo as I called him, died, I got up at 3 am just to watch the entire funeral service.
Anyway, any formal get together like this that has lots of pomp and circumstance surrounding it is going to be interesting to me. I know there are some out there who are thinking “I bet if Teddy was a republican you wouldn’t have watched all of this shit.” Not true at all. Of course, we’ll just have to wait until Gerald Ford dies for me to … What? He’s dead? Really?
Hoookay then, I guess we’ll just have to wait until Ronald Rea … what? Ronnie died too? Ohhhhh … that’s so sad.
I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I kid because I care.
I was there, glued to the TV, for every second of Ronnie’s funeral. I watched on C-Span as people filed past his casket and watched the memorials and funeral services. That was great stuff. I think Reagan put on the third best funeral of my lifetime. Here’s my list of best celebrity funerals of my lifetime:
1. Pope John Paul II. I mean come on, they brought the body out strapped to this big board or whatever and held him up for the crowd. Nobody is going to top that. Nobody.
2. Princess Di. The Brits really know how to do these types of things.
3. Ronald Reagan. Lying in state then heading back to Cali for the funeral. Lots of Hollywood types. The whole thing was impressive.
4. Teddy Kennedy. Anytime you get Yo-Yo Ma and Placido Domingo to perform, then you’ve put on a pretty damn good funeral.
5. Princess Grace. Again, royalty knows how do these things right. And, Princess Grace was freaking gorgeous.
I don’t know if Michael Jackson’s funeral comes next or not cause I decided to stop thinking about this topic. He probably does though.
Anyway, I remember watching Nixon’s funeral with my dad. His was pretty basic is probably way down the list. At one point, one of my step-sisters, in her usual, annoying way, blurted out “Why the hell is Bill Clinton there at a republican’s funeral?!” Before I could say anything dad quipped “For the same reason that I’m watching it. To make sure they burry that crooked son of a bitch.”
Back to this week. The first thing that I was fascinated by this week was watching on Friday when they brought the casket out of the Kennedy’s house to place it into the hearse and take it to Bahston. What I found myself wondering was if Teddy’s remains had just been kept there at the house for three days.
I mean, did they clear out the extra fridge in the garage and stuff him in there? Or did they just turn down the temperature in the wine cellar and keep him in there? I guess they might have just propped him up in his easy chair with a cigar in one hand and a glass of Scotch in the other and left him like that.
My mother assures me that they probably took the body to the funeral home to do all that stuff that they do there. Then, they probably brought the body back to the house on Friday for all the official festivities. I guess that’s possible. OTOH, it’s also possible that his body wasn’t even in that casket. I mean, they didn’t open it and show us, did they? Come on conspiracy theorists! I know you have your hands full with death panels and Obama’s secret army bullshit, but help me out here, will ya?
Anyway, I enjoyed watching the ceremonies. I enjoyed hearing the stories told by the politicians and family members. Some were funny, some were sad and others where actually kind of inspiring. Both the memorial and the funeral mass were a great celebration of life.
Some people will whine that it was “political” or whatever, but they were going to bitch about something anyway. Which is fine. As I said after Robert Novak died last week, I don’t subscribe to the social rule that says you have to pretend someone was perfect or even a good person just because he just died. Oh sure, maybe you don’t go out of your way to trash him, but you don’t have to say that you loved him or even respected him if you didn’t. It would be nice if we based our complaints on facts, but oh well. Also, it’s not like libruls were quiet and thoughtful after Reagan died.
Well, this post is getting pretty long. I guess I’ll just say that I consider Teddy to be a great senator, but I don’t know that I can all him a great man. But, I will say that in the last 10 years or so, he did come close to being the man that he could have been all along. There was lots of good and lots of bad to him. Some people will never forgive the bad and some will only see the good. But, that’s pretty much the way it is for any politician, I guess.
Rest in Peace Ted Kennedy. You lived a hell of a full and amazing life.
Anyway, any formal get together like this that has lots of pomp and circumstance surrounding it is going to be interesting to me. I know there are some out there who are thinking “I bet if Teddy was a republican you wouldn’t have watched all of this shit.” Not true at all. Of course, we’ll just have to wait until Gerald Ford dies for me to … What? He’s dead? Really?
Hoookay then, I guess we’ll just have to wait until Ronald Rea … what? Ronnie died too? Ohhhhh … that’s so sad.
I’m kidding, I’m kidding! I kid because I care.
I was there, glued to the TV, for every second of Ronnie’s funeral. I watched on C-Span as people filed past his casket and watched the memorials and funeral services. That was great stuff. I think Reagan put on the third best funeral of my lifetime. Here’s my list of best celebrity funerals of my lifetime:
1. Pope John Paul II. I mean come on, they brought the body out strapped to this big board or whatever and held him up for the crowd. Nobody is going to top that. Nobody.
2. Princess Di. The Brits really know how to do these types of things.
3. Ronald Reagan. Lying in state then heading back to Cali for the funeral. Lots of Hollywood types. The whole thing was impressive.
4. Teddy Kennedy. Anytime you get Yo-Yo Ma and Placido Domingo to perform, then you’ve put on a pretty damn good funeral.
5. Princess Grace. Again, royalty knows how do these things right. And, Princess Grace was freaking gorgeous.
I don’t know if Michael Jackson’s funeral comes next or not cause I decided to stop thinking about this topic. He probably does though.
Anyway, I remember watching Nixon’s funeral with my dad. His was pretty basic is probably way down the list. At one point, one of my step-sisters, in her usual, annoying way, blurted out “Why the hell is Bill Clinton there at a republican’s funeral?!” Before I could say anything dad quipped “For the same reason that I’m watching it. To make sure they burry that crooked son of a bitch.”
Back to this week. The first thing that I was fascinated by this week was watching on Friday when they brought the casket out of the Kennedy’s house to place it into the hearse and take it to Bahston. What I found myself wondering was if Teddy’s remains had just been kept there at the house for three days.
I mean, did they clear out the extra fridge in the garage and stuff him in there? Or did they just turn down the temperature in the wine cellar and keep him in there? I guess they might have just propped him up in his easy chair with a cigar in one hand and a glass of Scotch in the other and left him like that.
My mother assures me that they probably took the body to the funeral home to do all that stuff that they do there. Then, they probably brought the body back to the house on Friday for all the official festivities. I guess that’s possible. OTOH, it’s also possible that his body wasn’t even in that casket. I mean, they didn’t open it and show us, did they? Come on conspiracy theorists! I know you have your hands full with death panels and Obama’s secret army bullshit, but help me out here, will ya?
Anyway, I enjoyed watching the ceremonies. I enjoyed hearing the stories told by the politicians and family members. Some were funny, some were sad and others where actually kind of inspiring. Both the memorial and the funeral mass were a great celebration of life.
Some people will whine that it was “political” or whatever, but they were going to bitch about something anyway. Which is fine. As I said after Robert Novak died last week, I don’t subscribe to the social rule that says you have to pretend someone was perfect or even a good person just because he just died. Oh sure, maybe you don’t go out of your way to trash him, but you don’t have to say that you loved him or even respected him if you didn’t. It would be nice if we based our complaints on facts, but oh well. Also, it’s not like libruls were quiet and thoughtful after Reagan died.
Well, this post is getting pretty long. I guess I’ll just say that I consider Teddy to be a great senator, but I don’t know that I can all him a great man. But, I will say that in the last 10 years or so, he did come close to being the man that he could have been all along. There was lots of good and lots of bad to him. Some people will never forgive the bad and some will only see the good. But, that’s pretty much the way it is for any politician, I guess.
Rest in Peace Ted Kennedy. You lived a hell of a full and amazing life.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Saint Pelosi
On a Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D. C., House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's aide visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day's sermon, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.
The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi's views."
Pelosi's aide then said, "Look. I'll write a check here and now for a donation of $100,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint."
The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."
As Pelosi's aide promised, House Speaker Pelosi appeared for the Sunday sermon and seated herself prominently at the edge of the main aisle. And, during the sermon, as promised, the Cardinal pointed out that House Speaker Pelosi was present.
Then the Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation -- "While Speaker Pelosi's presence is probably an honor to some, she is not my favorite person. Some of her views are contrary to those of the church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other views. Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, condescending, a cheat, and a thief. Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using it to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington, and in California. She simply is not to be trusted. But when compared to Senators Ted Kennedy, Harry Reid, and John Kerry, House Speaker Pelosi is a saint."
The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi's views."
Pelosi's aide then said, "Look. I'll write a check here and now for a donation of $100,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint."
The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."
As Pelosi's aide promised, House Speaker Pelosi appeared for the Sunday sermon and seated herself prominently at the edge of the main aisle. And, during the sermon, as promised, the Cardinal pointed out that House Speaker Pelosi was present.
Then the Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation -- "While Speaker Pelosi's presence is probably an honor to some, she is not my favorite person. Some of her views are contrary to those of the church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other views. Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, condescending, a cheat, and a thief. Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using it to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington, and in California. She simply is not to be trusted. But when compared to Senators Ted Kennedy, Harry Reid, and John Kerry, House Speaker Pelosi is a saint."
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