Death is Funny if Done the Right Way...

Once again BTR played the role of the man trying to keep us down this week. Just like last Saturday, it wouldn't let both Matt-Man and me in the chat room, my switchboard was frozen and Matt's was flashing like a strobe light. But, a new feature this week was a clicking and popping noise that I could hear while doing the show. And, unfortunately, the listener can hear it too from time to time. But, it isn't constant. It comes and goes.

Anyway, in spite of all this, last night's Death: The Lighter Side was a really hilariously good time, if I do say so myself. Our good friend Augusto called in and hung out with us. And Curious Chris also called and it told us about a Swedish funeral that he attended in Seattle once. Unfortunately, ABBA didn't perform. But, it was still a nice story.

Matt-Man and I talked a bit about how we would like to go out. We both have some pretty good ideas. We discussed how Pope John Paul II had one of the best funerals ever and how I love big fancy shindigs like that. I can't wait until Queen Elizabeth II dies. Oh what a great funeral THAT'S gonna be!

We also had a new sponsor for this week. Fast Freddie's Funerals. He has a great new concept on how to hold funerals much more efficiently to save money and time.

And then things went a bit off the rails in the final 15 minutes when we talked about Asian women and then discussing how rude it was of Matt's brother to die right in the middle of the best gags Matt had run on his blog in some time. That being his secession from the union and establishment of his own sovereign country in his apartment.

It was pretty much non-stop hilarity. And if you'd like to listen to it you can do so using this rather unimpressive, but functional player provided by the fine folks over at BTR. Or using the player that will show up at the bottom of this post in Reader.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

And, we also have a major announcement to make:

The critically acclaimed, and highly rated internet radio show “I'm With Stupid” hosted by the legendary internet radio duo of Matt-Man and Jayman will be moving to a new time slot. Effective Saturday April 16, 2011, “I'm With Stupid” will be broadcasting live at 12 noon EDT at the same location on the internet. RIGHT HERE.

Matt-Man and Jayman both feel that the new time slot will be more convenient for the shows fans and will especially be so for them. They believe that by being awake and at least mostly sober, they will provide an even better radio experience for their vast and diverse world wide audience. And they won't have to stay up late on Thursdays anymore.

So, don't forget. “I'm With Stupid” will be moving to 12 noon EDT, 11 am CDT, 10 am MDT and 9 am PDT on Saturdays beginning on April 16^th, 2011. We hope to see y'all there.

I Laugh in the Face of Death...

One of my favorite writers, Sarah Vowell, once wrote something along the lines of “while I am completely obsessed with death, I am opposed to it.”

I've actually known a few people who were obsessed with death and dying. In fact, they were more afraid of dying than anything else in the world. And not just because they knew that their mothers would find that stack of magazines and, you know, “stuff” they keep in a special box in their closets. Nor am I talking about those Goth freaks who walk around wearing black and put on makeup that makes them look like death warmed over all the time either. Some of those chicks are actually pretty hot. No, I'm talking about people who actually sat around and worried about how and when they would die.

That's crazy. And kind of funny. And when you think about it, dying is pretty funny too. Sometimes it is. I mean, at least if you do it right it can be. Like, if your final words are “Hold my beer and watch this” then it was probably pretty funny.

If the last thing you see is your wife standing over you saying “How do you reload this damn thing” your death might be a terrible tragedy. Or, you might have had it coming and people might shake their heads and actually laugh a bit and say “poor dumb bastard” to themselves.

You know what else is funny? Or at least should be funny? Funerals.

Oh I know, you're shaking your head saying funerals are somber times and people shouldn't be laughing. I disagree. I think funerals could be vastly improved by having someone get up there and doing a good five minute stand up routine. I mean, unless the deceased didn't have a sense of humor. If that's the case then go ahead and go with the gloomy, somber funeral, I guess.

And then after the funeral it's time for the reception at the dearly departed's home. And if they don't have an open bar then they're just not being respectful of the dead at all. Some dancing girls would be nice too.

Funerals are actually a celebration of life and should be treated as such. Yes, there will be mourning and you will miss the dearly departed and be sad at times. But, you should also remember the happy times and remember that they will be there with you in spirit (depending on your beliefs) for the good times and the bad times in the future too.

So, it's in this celebration of life spirit that Matt-Man and I present Death: The Lighter Side on Thursday at 11 pm EDT on “I'm With Stupid.” We'll talk death and funerals and dying … and life. And all the fun and games that go along with it. We'll talk about people we miss and maybe preview our own deaths a little. And of course, we would love for you to call in and share your stories with us too!

Friday Video: Take The Climb (For Tyler Clementi)

Song by Peter and Mary Danzig
Video by Connell O'Donovan

In September I had just started to teach a violin lesson when my student's mother picked up her New York Times and gasped. She told me she had to show me something after the lesson. After I finished teaching, she showed me an article about a young violinist, Tyler Clementi who committed suicide after his roommate live streamed Tyler's relationship with another guy over the internet. As I read the article and looked at the picture of a young man holding his violin with such beautiful technique I was filled with sadness.

The week before I had heard Hilary Hahn perform the Tchaikovsky violin concerto. During her incredible performance I had thought about the speculation that Tchaikovsky committed suicide because his "friends" told him that it would be better for him to kill himself than to be gay. I had thought about the magnificent gift that Tchaikovsky gift has been to the world and what a loss his untimely death was for all of us. As I gazed at the picture of Tyler, I grieved the loss of a young man who had already brought so much joy and would have given a lifetime of beauty to so many.

As Peter and I talked later that evening we wished there was something we could do. We decided to write a song and hope that maybe it does some good for someone. Some talented musician friends helped us make a live recording at Holladay United Church of Christ. Attached is the song. They lyrics are below. We hope you enjoy the song. If you do, please feel free to send it on with our hope that one day we will learn to treat all people with love and respect.

Love,
Mary

Among The Living

A lot of people are dying in my circles lately - it's strange. Sisters of friends, parents of friends... I received word week before last that my childhood babysitter was diagnosed with a fast growing cancer so I drove down to Provo to say goodbye. It's always strange to say goodbye to someone you love when you know it is for the last time in this physical life. What do you say? "I love you... Thanks for loving me... Are you scared... Don't be... What are your favorite memories of our time together... What are mine... Do you remember when... I'll see you soon..."

Yep. All of the above. You hug and laugh and cry and stare into one another's eyes a lot. She asked me to sing to her. I did. Then she asked me to sing that same song at her funeral. I agreed. She died last Saturday night and today I drove down to the chapel in Provo and sang for her the songs she had requested - My Turn on Earth and Angel Lullaby (the lullaby that my mom wrote for me while I was in her belly) from Mom's play "My Turn on Earth." I was cocky and thought that I wouldn't cry but standing above her casket a flood of childhood memories washed over me and I was emotional from start to finish.

This woman had watched over me as a child. She had played the piano and hide and seek with me. She put flowers on my sister's grave every year. She was only, like, 56years old. She had a constant smile that masked a hundred pains that I'm not sure how many people in her life actually knew about. And she is the only person that I know who loved chocolate more than I do.

Often when someone dies it is natural that we think about death. And life. The best story was told today. When my friend was about five years old, her family moved to a new town. She wanted to have a birthday party but her mother told her it would be hard because they had just moved there and they didn't know anyone. You can't really have a party with no friends. She left the house and came back about an hour later followed by several neighbors. "Mom, these are my new friends. Can I have my party now?"

Why do I so often forget lessons I learned long ago - and continue to learn over and over and over? If life is lacking something I want - go out and get it. Make it. Meet it. Create it. Demand it. Don't rest until I have it. In the spiritual adventure I find myself on, I spend more time with the dead than the living. I focus more on life before and life after than I do on life right now. Funny. And not.

Note To Self: Stop being so fascinated by near death experiences. Focus on having a near life experience instead. Just a thought.