One of my favorite writers, Sarah Vowell, once wrote something along the lines of “while I am completely obsessed with death, I am opposed to it.”
I've actually known a few people who were obsessed with death and dying. In fact, they were more afraid of dying than anything else in the world. And not just because they knew that their mothers would find that stack of magazines and, you know, “stuff” they keep in a special box in their closets. Nor am I talking about those Goth freaks who walk around wearing black and put on makeup that makes them look like death warmed over all the time either. Some of those chicks are actually pretty hot. No, I'm talking about people who actually sat around and worried about how and when they would die.
That's crazy. And kind of funny. And when you think about it, dying is pretty funny too. Sometimes it is. I mean, at least if you do it right it can be. Like, if your final words are “Hold my beer and watch this” then it was probably pretty funny.
If the last thing you see is your wife standing over you saying “How do you reload this damn thing” your death might be a terrible tragedy. Or, you might have had it coming and people might shake their heads and actually laugh a bit and say “poor dumb bastard” to themselves.
You know what else is funny? Or at least should be funny? Funerals.
Oh I know, you're shaking your head saying funerals are somber times and people shouldn't be laughing. I disagree. I think funerals could be vastly improved by having someone get up there and doing a good five minute stand up routine. I mean, unless the deceased didn't have a sense of humor. If that's the case then go ahead and go with the gloomy, somber funeral, I guess.
And then after the funeral it's time for the reception at the dearly departed's home. And if they don't have an open bar then they're just not being respectful of the dead at all. Some dancing girls would be nice too.
Funerals are actually a celebration of life and should be treated as such. Yes, there will be mourning and you will miss the dearly departed and be sad at times. But, you should also remember the happy times and remember that they will be there with you in spirit (depending on your beliefs) for the good times and the bad times in the future too.
So, it's in this celebration of life spirit that Matt-Man and I present Death: The Lighter Side on Thursday at 11 pm EDT on “I'm With Stupid.” We'll talk death and funerals and dying … and life. And all the fun and games that go along with it. We'll talk about people we miss and maybe preview our own deaths a little. And of course, we would love for you to call in and share your stories with us too!
