Fantastic Mr. Fox News

You know the folks at Fox News have a great sense of humor. They have to. They are the only conservative news channel on television.

By now everyone's heard about Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Rothlisberger and his penchant for beating up young women. Seriously - one time: maybe his word against hers if there are no witnesses. Second time - it's a pattern. The guy is an overpaid misogynistic egomaniac with a tendency towards domestic battery against his sexual partners.

Fox News ran a story today about how Mr. Pittsburgh is being suspended for 4-6 games for violating their personal conduct policy.

Here's the funny part.

Click on the link above.

Click on the picture.

Right-click while on the picture.

Select properties.

Read the name of the file. Hysterical!!!

Tiger Woods' New Hat

Is anyone else tired of hearing about Tiger Woods? For crying out loud he's just an athlete. I went to the gym yesterday and when I got on the elliptical, they had breaking news on ESPN that Tiger was going to play in the Master's.

Fantastic. He's coming out of hiding after cheating on his wife and getting his ass kicked by her. Is some sort of hero now? Seriously - he has one of the hottest wives on the planet and he's two-timing with $20 whores and cocktail waitresses? Yes, I understand that he has a problem. That's kind of obvious in more ways that one. Do I have any sympathy for the billionaire athlete who destroyed his marriage and drove a wedge (or was it a 3-iron) between himself and his wife and children? Hell no.

Thirty minutes later when I finish my workout - they are still S.T.I.L.L. talking about Tiger Woods. Now they have special guests calling in to give their opinion about what this means for Tiger, golf, the Master's, ESPN, America, and the Federal deficit. OMG. And I hate golf, so it was a terrible workout. They could have put Ellen on the television and I would have been happier.

But there is good news in this. Because of Tiger's infidelity, he will be wearing a new hat. This time it is a white cap with the scarlet letter A on the front. For those of you that attended public schools in Baltimore City, you'll have to read this.

A New Car!!!

Not exactly. But I am happy to report that we made our final payment on the luxurious 2004 Ford Freestar minivan. That's an extra $375 per month. I consider this van a collector's item as Ford no longer produces a minivan.

Our van comes equipped with balding tires, cup holders full of trash, hardened ice cream streaks, crayon-stained carpeting, crushed cereal, lollipop sticks, captains-chairs with permanent indentations from the car seats, a red scratch down the passenger side, a white scratch on the passenger side mirror, 2 sliding doors, one of which will not open on its own, and a faded fake chrome grill that is impossible to clean.

This van can be yours if - the Price is Right!!!

Skeleton of First Politician Found!!!