Showing posts with label Stalking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stalking. Show all posts

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Crossing The Line ...

Okay, I’ve made light of the very serious issue of stalking many times here on this blog. Hell, I even posted a guide to stalkers and stalkees once. What a great post that was! Anyway, 90% of the people who have read those posts have taken them in the way they were meant. As satire and just to be funny. About 10% of the people out there were offended or didn’t think stalking was funny in any way.

I can understand their position and realize that stalking is very serious and more than a little scary for some people who have been the victim of stalkers. Same goes for things like hidden cameras, and all that shit that stalkers use. Things like peephole reversers
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Did you know these things actually existed? I had no idea. I really hope the magnificent bastard creep who created this made a freaking fortune off this truly brilliant piece of technology was arrested on principal the day he tried to sell the thing.

But, at the same time if we say that we’re not allowed to make light of anything that can potentially be a very serious thing then we don’t get to make light of anything at all! And what someone who has never met me, knows nothing about me and makes no attempt to know anything about me thinks of me isn’t my concern. Besides, inappropriate humor is the best kind of humor. Oh, and then there’s the name of this blog, which should help people out when they are wondering if I’m being serious or just sarcastic.

But, sometimes people just go way too far and this past week someone did I feel like instead of making light of it I really should say something.

A website (that I will NOT link to) posted a video that they claimed was of ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews walking around a hotel room naked. Unfortunately the site pulled the video before I could get there. But, now that I know the alleged facts of this case, I’m glad I didn’t get a chance to see the video.

Erin Andrews…
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For those of you who don’t know who Ms. Andrews is, she works for ESPN and does all the sideline reporting at major sporting events and interviews athletes and coaches. Yes, I agree that sideline reporters can be very annoying and that the networks should eliminate them. But, Andrews is a professional and she is very good at her job. She’s not a model who just happens to have been hired by ESPN to do this. She really is a journalist by trade and education.

She is also the darling of the sports blog world. The fact that she is drop dead gorgeous has made her the topic of discussion on sports blog for a long time now. She is also very popular among sports fans who try to get pictures of her on the sidelines and even try to get a pic of themselves with her from time to time.

None of this is a problem. She is popular and beautiful and when she’s in public like this taking pictures of her is to be expected and not creepy at all. Well, maybe when people take close up pics of her ass it is, but just regular old everyday pics of her isn’t any big deal.

However, this video isn’t anything like that. Andrews wasn’t going Paris or Britney or Lindsay on us here. She wasn’t walking around in a public place with her cooter hanging out. She wasn’t spreading her legs open while getting out of a vehicle so as to expose herself to the hundreds of cameras focused on her.

She was in the privacy of her own hotel room.

Somebody recorded this video of her either through the peephole in the door, or through a peephole specifically made for this. This is a truly outrageous and disgusting invasion of her privacy.

Hey look, nobody wants to see Erin Andrews naked more than me. But, I want it to happen the normal way. You know, either through a sex tape that she made that got released and she made lots and lots of money off of it, or while she was romping around naked on a beach somewhere. You know, in public where you don’t have the expectation of privacy that you have in your hotel room. Anyone, famous or not, who gets photos taken of them while naked in public doesn’t have much room to complain.

Disney/ABC/ESPN’s lawyers have released a statement confirming that this is Andrews and making it clear that they will assist her in her attempts to find out who did this and they will then go after this person in both civil and criminal court. And my guess is they will do just that. I highly doubt that the owner of the website who posted the videos will be able to withstand the pressure that Disney/ABC/ESPN will be able to put on them and will at some point have to tell where the video came from.

It’s one thing to publish a story that you dug up from anonymous sources about a wireless surveillance program run by the government or whatever and refuse to ever give up your sources. But, I don’t know that this guy is going to have much legal ground to stand on. Even if he tries to call himself a “journalist” and use the 1st amendment as cover, I don’t think it covers this kind of invasion of privacy.

So, I’m hoping that they track down the freak who did this and simply ruin his life. I hope they press criminal charges against him and he spends some time in a special room where there is no privacy at all. And then, I hope Erin takes him to civil court and gets a judgment against him that results in garnishment of his wages for the rest of his natural life.

Mostly though, I hope that when this guy is caught he is held up to national scorn and condemnation. But, you know what? I’m really afraid that the opposite will happen. I’m afraid he will become another pseudo-celebrity and will actually be held up as a kind of a hero by the sports blogs and others and will get rich off all of this. I think that’s what bothers me most of all about things like this.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

This and That for Monday ...

Before we get started today my friend Ne’s father passed away on Sunday morning. If you take a few minutes out of your day to send some prayers and well wishes to her I’m sure she would greatly appreaciate them. You can vaster her blog
HERE
. (Link opens in a new window or tab.)

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So, as many of you know Schmoopalicious has taken over for Matt-Man on his blog a couple of days a week. Matt-Man tried to claim this was because he is “busy” doing some other stuff. Needless to say, I was a bit skeptical about this claim. Then, I saw this headline right here …
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Yeah, just as a thought. “Busy” dealing with legal problems tied to his stalking of Tyra Banks.

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A lot of cities and towns across the country canceled or postponed their Cinco de Mayo Celebrations because of the Bacon Flu Swine Flu (and NO, I will NOT use H1N1 Virus in place of “Swine Flu” just because the pork producers threw a hissy fit over the use of the word “swine”). I guess this does make sense. I mean, since the Swine Flu might have originated in Mexico, we probably shouldn’t celebrate a Mexican holiday or anything.

You know, with the exception of Joe Biden going “Joe Biden” on the Today Show the other day, most local, state and fed gov’t actions have been pretty good in this Swine Flu thingy. The media? Not so much. If there is any huge panic going on over the Swine Flu then it’s mostly due to the media literally screaming about the thing non-stop.

And, I think I’m most surprised and impressed with response of the Mexican government. For what is primarily a third world country, they were very open about the outbreak, notified the CDC and sent samples to a lab in Canada pretty quickly. If you remember a few years ago during the big SARS outbreak, while the world was trying to figure out what was going on, China was standing there with their hands in their pockets, staring at the sky and whistling.

I don’t think that there’s any real doubt that someday when the “Big One” really does hit, it’s going to come out of that part of the world. And while it spreads like wildfire, those governments are going to be more concerned with covering it up and pretending it isn’t happening than actually trying to stop it.

Not to be an alarmist about it or anything. ;-)

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I know I’ve mentioned before that I don’t follow many celebrities on Twitter, but I do follow some of the bigger media celebrities. Like Jake Tapper, Joe Scarborough and a few others. I’m really amazed at what thin-skinned crybabies they are too. Seriously people, quit being such whiny-butts. If you can dish it out, you need to be able to take it.

Except for CBS White House correspondent Mark Knoller! Mark rocks! You know why? Cause Mark responded to me on Twitter ….

Here was my Tweet..
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And his reply..
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How cool is that? He was Tweeting that the Barack and Michelle Obama were had gone out to dinner at a restaurant in Georgetown and that the press pool was across the street. So I was asking him why they followed them to dinner and basically do the people have a right to know that they went to dinner and what they ate and shit.

So he explained that they have to go in case something happens. Which I guess is true, but still. Anyway a couple of them were kinda whining about having to be out there on Friday night and I thought that was silly. You work all your career to reach this point, one of the coolest, most prestigious, best paying and cushiest gigs in journalism and then bitch about the hours? A tad unseemly, if you ask me.

But Mark wasn’t one of the crybabies though.

And then he let us know that the Obama’s were perusing the dessert menu, so I tweeted this …
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And he responded again …
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So clearly Mark Knoller is officially the coolest media/journalist type on Twitter not named Ana Marie Cox …
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Yeah, she kinda rocks. But, she’s never replied to me on Twitter. And if she ever happens upon this blog and reads it for like three minutes she probably never will. I’m just sayin’. But that’s okay. I mean, not really, but you know.


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And then my Saturday ended with me getting this hand written message from someone over Ustream ….
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Can you believe that?? I mean, seriously guys, do you think I would EVER do something to deserve that?

Yeah. You’re right. I probably did deserve it. ;-)

(Actually she was only joking around.)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

How To Be A Better Stalker & Stalkee ...

We interrupt the question and answer session for this important post …

I was having an email conversation with this unbelievably HAWT chick yesterday when the subject turned to stalking. Not sure how we got to that, but whatever. Anyway, I said I’m pretty sure I would get caught stalking almost immediately cause I wouldn’t know what to do. She then said that she would probably need tips on how to be a better stalkee. So, I got to thinking that maybe I should do a blog post with some ideas of how we can all be better stalkers AND stalkees.

First of all you need a disguise if you’re gonna stalk someone. Here’s mine …
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I don’t think I’ll stand out too much in public do you? Well, I guess I could just go with this one …
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Oh and now that I think about it, I would recommend that you NOT post a picture of you in yourself disguise on your blog. I’m just guessing.

Okay, now you need supplies. Here are a few things you might need …

1. A camera. And a good telephoto lens. And maybe the binocular/camera combo! Now that would be handy!
2. A video camera with night vision and some night vision goggles.
3. A notepad and pen. You will want to write down your victim’s target’s future lover’s address and phone number and keep notes on his/her whereabouts and his/her daily schedule.
4. Snacks. I’m guessing there will be a lot of downtime and you might get hungry. So some Doritos, cookies, a couple of Snickers bars and maybe a little cooler with some sandwich items would be a good idea. And some water and soft drinks. Maybe a couple of beers too.
5. Empty one gallon milk cartons. The last thing you want to do is risk missing your victim target future lover leave the house/bar/work cause you were using the bathroom at the nearest McDonalds. So, you take a couple of milk cartons to piss into and you’re good to go. You can always put the lid back on those things and just toss them out the window onto the side of the road on your way home. Then as an added bonus, when the road crews are out with the mowers in the spring they’ll hit those cartons and set off Urine Bombs. You know that’s funny!
6. Some ready made excuses for when you get caught. Something like this …

Stalkee: “Um, hi, what are you doing here?”
Stalker: “Oh hey, uh, well I was just having a beer and hanging out.”
Stalkee: “But this is a gay bar.”
Stalker: “Yeah, but you can’t beat $1 beers. And it’s a great place to drink a beer and watch the “Will and Grace” marathon on cable.”

Or if you get desperate ..

Stalker: “Uh … well I’m actually bi. Please don’t tell anyone though.”

Or maybe this situation …

Stalkee: “Dude, what are you doing here?”
Stalker: “I’m just having lunch.”
Stalkee: “But, this is the high school cafeteria!”
Stalker: “I know! Crazy, right? But, it’s damn cheap.”

7. Lube. I think this is pretty self-explanatory.


So, there are a number of things that the stalkee can also do to make things easier on the stalker.

1. Keep a regular schedule. Try to leave the house about the same time each day and come home at the same time.
2. Frequent the same places. Obviously, it’s much easier to track you down if you are at the same bar each day.
3. Sit at outdoor cafes. Seriously, this way your stalker can stay in his/her car to keep an eye on you.
4. Keep your curtains open please. And be sure to change clothes in front of those windows with open curtains several times a day.
5. Laying out catching rays in a public park (topless) would be nice too.
6. Ladies, while you’re out and about try to wear something skimpy. And be sure to bend over and pick things up or fix the strap on your high heels or something like that every once in a while.



So, there are some pointers for any of you out there who are considering stalking. Again, I’m just guessing on these. I’m sure there are other, more useful tips too. Does anyone have any other good ideas to help a stalker out?



Oh and remember kids, these rules apply to “Consensual Stalking” only. Nonconsensual stalking is just plain creepy.