Some Observations On My 4.5 Year Bloggiversary...

First, a quick conversation I had with the check out chick at Walmart:

Her: Do you want this Kit-Kat bar kept out?
Me: No, just toss it in the bag.
Her: Are you sure? It’s so hot that it will probably melt in your car.
Me: Just toss it in the same bag with the milk and frozen veggies. That’ll keep it cold.
Her: You are so smart!!  I’m going to have to remember that. That’s such a good idea!
Me: I’m glad I could help.

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So, this last Saturday was my 4 ½ year blogiversary.   This blog started on Jan 12, 2006.  Seems like only yesterday.  Anyway, I thought I would celebrate my 4 ½ year blogiversary by listing 20 observations about blogging.

1. People are very sensitive about things that they like.  If I don’t like what they like, they tend to get defensive. 

2. Boobies are popular.  Especially Giada de Laurentiis’ boobies.


3. People love to give others advice on how to blog and/or twitter.

4. There are lots and lots of really creative and funny as hell people out there.

5. But, Trolls are sad and pathetic people.

6. There is no observation #6.

7. Strippers that I’ve met in real life are way more friendly than strippers I’ve met on blog and Twitter.  I understand that they have to be careful because of all the creeps and Judgey McJudgersons out there.  But, they should know how much I love them and be my friend.

8. 90% of bloggers are super awesome people. Even the mommy bloggers.

9. If I write a blog post celebrating “curvy” women I’ll get tons of love.

10. If I write a blog post celebrating “petite” women I’ll get lots of grief and even an email telling me that finding petite women (especially Asian women) attractive means I’m basically a pedophile. 


11. So that 10% can be kind of annoying.

12. Sometimes commenting is more fun than writing the posts.

13. It’s amazing how open people can be when they write about their lives and their, um, activities. 

14. It’s almost impossible to stay anonymous in the bloggerhood.

15. I don’t really get the blogs written from the point of view of the family pet thing.

16. Man there are some really damn hot blogging babes out there.

17. More than 90% of my hits are coming only from the US and Canada. I’m finding it much harder to make connections with people outside of the US and Canada than when I first started blogging.  I don’t know why. 

18. People love lists.

19. Sarcasm is something that is either hard to convey through blogs or some people aren’t very good at picking it up.

20. I continue to be amazed at people who can produce quality blogs every single day.

Inappropriate ...

The words for this week's WWC are "Favorite Quote" and "L"


At 12:01 a.m. central time, Monday, Sept, 28th 2009 the first Arkansas Lottery scratch off games go on sale. Obviously this means that by around 12:15 there will be homeless people laying around on our sidewalks, hookers working the streets (if I'm lucky) and the churches will be full of abandoned children. All left there by parents who have lost their homes and everything they own to their gambling habit.

At some point Monday I will go and get some of my own. I have no doubt that I will win big. I'm not sure what the biggest payout available is, but it's mine baby! I can just feel it.

Wait, that might be gas.

Anyhoodle, all the convenience stores are gearing up for the big day. The local paper The Daily Disappointment published a list of all the places in the area who will be selling lottery game tickets. I haven't decided where I will be getting mine yet. My usual place is the White Oak Station over on Capps Rd. But, just to amuse myself I might drive out to the Kum & Go instead. That way I can get my winning tickets and laugh at the name of the place.

I think if I ever move to Nevada and open my own brothel, I will name it The Kum & Go. But, maybe that's not a fair description of what goes on in those places. Everyone thinks that the guy picks a skank and then bangs her and leaves. But, that isn't the way MY brothel will be. Nope, I intend to hire girls who are more into the Full Love Experience™. Instead of wham, bam, thank you ma’am, there will be a lot of cuddling and sweet talk going on. Cause I know that, even though they won't admit it, men are really into that shit.

Okay, what was I talking about? Oh yea, the lottery.

They start with the scratch off games Monday, but the Lotto and Powerball won't be live until the end of October. So, even if I don't win on the scratch off games, I'm sure I will win one of the big pots when they are available. In fact, I might just win at both of them. What the hell, right?

Don't worry though, if I win the big one I'll be sure to send everyone postcards from wherever I vacation at.

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In other news, someone flagged my pic of Sora Aoi last Friday as "inappropriate" and of course Photobucket immediately removed the photo after that ONE complaint. I know this is why they removed it because I inquired with them as to what the deal was. Someone clicked “nudity” and Photobucket people never even checked.

Here is the pic that was removed...


Really? An attractive girl of legal age who is NOT naked, is now inappropriate? That's interesting.

I noticed that nobody found the pic of Tim Robbins in nothing but a jock strap offensive. That is still there.

Maybe someone just has a problem with hot chicks.

Or Asian chicks? Fucking racists!

Of course I know there are always the "OMG how old is she? 12?!?" knee-jerk reaction from some people to any pic of an Asian girl. I even had one woman email me not too long ago and tell me that it doesn't matter how old the girl is, just being attracted to most Asian women, or any woman who really petite, is proof that I was a pedophile who liked little girls. Amazing what they teach in Women's Studies programs these days.

Anyway, if you are the one that went to Photobucket and flagged the pic then you suck. Oh and YOU LOSE anyway cause I just put up another pic on Flickr. So haha and fuck you.

Muammar Gaddafi Has a Few Things On His Mind ....

So, as you probably already know, Colonel Muammar Gaddafi of Libya got up in front of the gang at the United and Nations and brought the crazy in a big way. This was his first chance to address the UN in his 40 years in power. And dude had a few things on his mind that he felt needed to be said.

Colonel Crazypants ran down an amazing list of conspiracies that he has been thinking about. Things like “Israel was responsible for JFK’s assassination” and how he wanted Tony Blair and George W. Bush prosecuted for the Iraq War. He also said that the Security Council should be renamed the Terrorist Coucil. Claimed that the Swine Flu was actually a biological weapon created by the Army. (I assume the US Army) and pointed out that the planes on 9/11 took off form US airports. I guess he was using this to help prove Charlie Sheen’s theory that 9/11 was an inside job.

All in all it was a pretty entertaining speech. Whacky McLoony even took a copy of the UN charter and tossed it over his should at one point. That was after he offered to allow the UN to move to Libya to “unburden the United States.” And, well after he demanded that Western Powers pay African nations some 7 trillion dollars in reparations for colonialism. Nice!

But, he ran out of time to get to some of the other conspiracies that he wanted to discuss. So, he called me up last night and asked me to run down the rest of them here on my blog. Normally of course, he would call Matt-Man. But he said that last time he did that, Matt was really drunk and started asking really personal questions that made him feel uncomfortable. So, how could I refuse his request?

So, here are some of the highlights from Gaddafi’s call last night. My Libianese (that is the language they speak in Libya, right?) isn’t that good, but I think I’ve been able to translate most of his diatribe.

- Adam totally should have won American Idol last year.

- Cancer was cured 20 years ago, but the pharmaceuticals and US gov’t agreed to suppress the cure.

- He has his share of $10,000,000 USD waiting for him in a bank account because he helped a Nigerian Prince.

- The “X-Files” was based on “real shit the US government is hiding.”

- The moon landing was faked.

- He wanted to know “What’s the deal with people who just up and stop blogging without any notice or anything?”

- Swine Flue vaccinations will turn you into a Zombie. Then he mentioned that the only way to kill a Zombie was to shoot it in the head.

- Barry Bonds was “clean” and treated unfairly.

- Augusta National was lengthened to keep Tiger Woods from winning.

- Stonehenge is just some “Fancy landscaping from back in the day.”

- The Illuminati is real!

- He wishes people would stop asking him to join their fucking Mafia on Facebook.

- That pass interference call against Miami in the 2002 BCS Championship Game was “Bool-Sheet!”

- Warren Harding never got sick. He was murdered.

- Elvis is not dead.

- Those new digital converter boxes that people who use TV antennas had to get are being used by the government to control people’s minds.

- He has studied several photos of Sora Aoi and Grant is right and I’m wrong. Her boobs ARE REAL!


- The Vatican had Pope John Paul I “whacked”

- Mark Felt couldn’t possibly have been Deep Throat. “That guy looks like a real pussy.”

- Watching porn will turn you gay.

- Scorsese (Goodfellas) was robbed at the ’90 Oscars when Kevin Costner won Best Director for “Dances with Wolves.”

- Skull & Bones club at Yale is a secret “Gay Glee Club”


Then he went into the long, drawn out story about how TWA Flight 800 was actually shot down by a guy named Bernie Smallerstein who lives on Cape Cod. He claims Bernie and his sons were shooting a new potato gun they had build and blew the plane out of the sky. But, as usual the Israeli government put pressure on the US government to cover it up. I tried to follow him on this one, but I began to get bored with it, and “Glee” was on, so I really wasn’t listening anymore. But, I promised I would pass on some of his other concerns to you, so there ya go.

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I Really Don't Wanna Go ...

Well it’s that time again. There is a family gathering that I should attend. This time it’s a memorial service for my great aunt who passed away back in January. She lived in Los Angeles though, so they decided that they would hold a memorial service out there, and then wait until spring and bring her ashes back home to Arkansas and hold services here too.

And I really, really, REALLY don’t want to go.

So I won’t go, right? Buuuuuut … If I don’t go I will feel guilty that I didn’t go. Even though I’ve only seen this great aunt a total of three times in 30 years. Although my sister and I did go to California with dad and my step mother and step sisters back when I was 10 and stayed there with her and my uncle for a couple of weeks. Which was pretty awesome even if my step mother did do everything she could to sabotage the whole thing.

But, I don’t like funerals. They’re so damn depressing. And I have to wear a tie. I hate wearing a tie. Especially when it’s hot. And it’s going to be raining and storming on Saturday too. Driving over there in the rain, heat and humidity (okay, it’s only a 40 minute drive), wearing a tie and getting depressed just doesn’t sound like a good time.

Okay, so that’s not totally the reason I don’t want to go. Those are pretty minor issues. There is really something else stopping me from going.

Every time I’m supposed to attend any family gathering, no matter what it’s for, this HUGE feeling of dread comes over me.

I have no idea why either. My family members are harmless. Totally, completely harmless. Small town people who don’t take themselves all that seriously and are always happy to see you. Trust me, NOBODY is afraid of these people.

Like I've said many times here, I don't exactly have a lot of social skills. I don't think anyone who has ever met me would really disagree. Oh sure, I have basic manners. "Yes, please, you betcha thank you, you're welcome, stand when introduced to a lady or when she leaves or returns to the table" and all that stuff. But, I'm not the life of any party. I can go out on the back patio and do shots of tequila, or play quarters at the dinner table, but I'm not great at hopping from group of people to group of people and chit-chatting. So that would explain any dread I would have leading up to attending a party or get-together of people I don't really know. But, not family.

Aaaaaaand here's the really weird part. I actually don't have all these feelings of dread before attending a party made up mostly of people don't really know. At least not if I'm going with someone, like family members or friends I've known for a while. Oh sure, there's some nervousness. And there's the standard "Will I embarrass anyone?" "Will I be asked to leave and not come back?" "Will there be any young, hot Asian chicks there?" Okay, so that's really what Grant asks, but it's a fair question. And hot Asian chicks would make any party more fun.


But, I don't sit around and feel this sense of impending doom like I do before any family gathering. Isn't that the silliest thing you've ever heard? There are no big family fights that ever break out. There is no big family drama going on. Nobody is going to get drunk and make a scene or throw up in the middle of someone’s living room. Nobody is going to stand up and point at their mother or father and scram "You ruined my life! I hate you!"

So, why do I dread going over there so much? Especially when I know that in the end I will be downstairs watching St. Louis Cardinals baseball. Maybe I'm just a little touched in the head? But to be honest with you, it's always been like this.

So, I don't really know what I'm going to do right now. My allergies are acting up pretty bad. That's always a good excuse. It is allergy season, ya know. Of course, there's always the chance that my grandmother will call me tomorrow to remind me. You can’t really say no to your Nana. She's 90 years old and kind of forgetful though. And my phone could go on the fritz tomorrow too. Especially if I pull the phone line out of the base unit. Just a thought.

Anyone else have this same problem? Got any advice other than "stop being a pussy" I hate it when people tell me that.