Cup of Good Hop Final - which is the world's finest beer?

This is the final Cup of Good Hop - at least as far as WC2010 is concerned. We'd like to thank everyone who has made the competition possible, all those who have promoted it and made COGH the wild success it has been. It's been a hell of a lot of fun, and chances are we will reprise the format during the season, and undoubtedly we'll do something around the theme of the 2012 Euro qualifiers.

So, enjoy the last two matches, Stuart's final examination of European beer and other fripperies and catch you soon. There is of course, the whole COGH experience here - more than 50 posts from tracking down our first beer, through all 64 match reports to the grand final right here.

All the best and enjoy,

Peter and James...

Northumberland Police's new crack negotiator yesterday

3RD / 4TH PLACE PLAYOFF

Match 63:

France 1

Cointreau 46

Nigeria 3

Amataxi 6, 48, Yobbo 23, Ohdear 71

Guinness Foreign Extra rides roughshod over La Choulette, though both sides can be far happier with their COGH performances compared to the complete rubbish they served up in South Africa over the last month. The French brew was ultimately a little too sweet, and tasted a little too much like Special Brew for it to win the bronze medal. The Guinness - dark, brooding and tasting a little of liquorice (but not too much to offend) had ample class to cruise through the penultimate encounter - a fitting build-up to the final itself, which promises to be a classic.

Now...
here's Stuart Fuller's final preview of the 2012 Euros...

Group G
England – Fullers Honey Dew Ale
Switzerland - Samichlaus
Bulgaria- Zagorka
Wales- Brains
Montenegro- Niksicko

A strange suggestion for the English entry but sharing my surname, and having a distinct honey taste, Honey Dew Ale is absolutely perfect, served ice cold on a summer’s day. It has to be a good beer to get anywhere near our World Cup winner, the 14% Samichlaus brew which is only brewed once a year on the 6th December in celebration of Santa Claus. It is a ploy by the Swiss that if you drink this you have no knowledge of whether Santa actually makes it down the chimney or not. Wales may be a dark horse here as well. Brains is no weak link here. The tipple of choice of toddlers in the valleys, and drunk in huge quantities by Gavin Hensen after mistaking it for Ronsil i.e “Does what it says on the tin”. Bulgaria have only recently got into beer after blocking out the memory of some awful fashion statements with Raki for so many years and so Zagorka may not fair too well although I doubt it will stop Redknapp making a ludicrous bid for him. Montenegro’s offering could well be the title from a Tarrantino film and the gore that could result may just be a bridge too far for us.

Group H
Portugal – Super Bock
Denmark – Jacobsen Brown
Norway - Ringnes
Cyprus – KEO
Iceland – Viking Sterkur

This is the group that could spring a surprise. It is also the group of pleasure if we were ever thinking of holding the Euro Championship of women. Denmark is my second home and for that reason I am calling the shots on this one. Carlsberg produce a dozen or so brands in Denmark and the Jacobsen brown is a lovely chocolately brew found in a few bars and off licenses around the city. Ringnes may be the most popular beer in Norway but it is another “same old” from the Carlsberg brewery and the similarities with plain old Carlsberg international brew is all too clear to see. Super Bock is another holiday favourite and is commonality may be its undoing here. Cyprus’s KEO is in the same camp – almost unheard off outside the tourist resorts but you cannot escape it when you are there in the sunburn burger bars. Iceland is a strange place – not just for its economic and volcanic situation. Beer was actually banned until 1989 and every day on the 1 March the country stops for Beer Day to celebrate its repeal, enjoying a few Viking Sterkurs along the way. Out of sheer admiration for such abstinence they may get one of the two top spots here.

Group I
Spain - Moritz
Czech Republic - Budvar
Scotland- Deuchars
Lithuania- Svyturys
Liechtenstein - Brauhaus

Without a brewery of its own for over 90 years, Liechtenstein’s offering is certainly worth the wait and could well spring a surprise in this group. Lithuania is one of those countries that need an identity and its beer seems to blend in with the offerings of Poland and Latvia and that may be an issue here. Scotland – well what can we say? Tenants Extra would be harsh on a country better known for its Whisky. But we have plumped for a Deuchars which is becoming one of the best exports from north of the border since Kelly Dalglish. We could have gone with a typical San Miguel from Spain or for their offering from the COGH but we have gone with a Catalan Moritz which hopefully is more palatable than a walk down the Las Ramblas at night. Finally, the Czech’s. They love a good Pilsner but we don’t think you can get a better lager in the world than Budvar and this must be favourites from a weak group.

Summary
In an ideal world we would love to see some of the underdogs qualify but we know that come Cup of Good Hop time in June 2012 we will be faced with the likes of England, Italy, France, Germany et al. And that will surely mean no place on the European stage for the classics of Hooligan or Layla Dirty Blonde. Shame real shame.

The sole reason Dutch football is riding high

Cup of Good Hop Final

Match 64:

Spain 1

Amarillo 54

Switzerland 3
Federal 20, Toblerone 51, Franc 76

Samichlaus was heralded as the world's finest beer with a majestic display - not only for its sublime taste, but also the mythic 14% effect on the brain. It's hard to describe the feeling but its mighty, mighty fine. The whole of Spain can be proud of the performances of Alhambra Mezquita throughout COGH - arguably of better quality than the national team in S. Africa, but ultimately it wasn't quite enough. Samichlaus was the first beer we sourced way back in mid-May, and little did we know that we needn't have searched any further to find the best... over and out - well done Switzerland, you brewing maestros...

The Winner: Glorious

The presentation of the trophy... emotional scenes

Semi-Finals - which are the two mightiest beers?

Cristiano Ronaldo - a cry baby who is incapable of doing anything other than rolling around on the floor... or is that his son?

Twitter Titter #6

davidschneider

Congratulations to Cristiano Ronaldo on the birth of his son, John Terry Jr

Cup of Good Hop
Semi-Final 1

Match 61:
France 1

Ribaldry 35

Spain 1

Amarillo 4

(Spain won on penalties)

An almighty battle and no mistake - was almost impossible to select a winner - but ultimately Alhambra Mezquita winkled its way into the final by a whisker. France's La Choulette was 'just a tad too sweet' and 'tasted more boozy' than its smooth Spanish adversary. However, to come this close to the final means the French can hold their beery heads up high - well, far higher than their footballers can. And with Spain's WC2010 progress and Rafa Nadal, what a summer it has been for the Spanish - no need for an inquisition right now...

COGH unveil new taster for next World Cup

Euro 2012 Preview - part two

Stuart Fuller takes us through down some of the stranger cul-de-sacs of european booze who'll be fighting it out in COGH 2012...

Group D
France – Kronenbourg

Romania – Ursus

Bosnia –Herzegovina – Nektar

Belarus – Brovar (Carlsberg)

Albania – Birra Malto

Luxembourg - Mousel

France has more to offer than just Kronenbourg and this variety will be needed to get out of a group of ordinary beers on the face of it. Bosnia’s Nektar may be fit for the gods in Sarajevo but will it cut the mustard when up against a big Brovar from White Russia. Carlsberg again providing the ammunition in a world in which they dominate.

And what about Albania? Birra Malto sounds a bit agricultural to me, as it is been fermented with various unexplained root vegetables. Luxembourg is just dull, and despite its borders with great beer nations France, Belgium and Germany I am not holding out much hope. I have a feeling this will be the group of death in terms of disappointing offerings but I may be wrong....

Group E

Netherlands – Amstel

Sweden – God Lager

Finland – Sahti

Hungary – Arany Arzok

Moldova – Bere Chisinau

San Marino – Amacord

Finland’s Sahti, which apparently has a strong taste of bananas kicks off the group and sets a fruity tone for events to come we imagine. The Swedes love a beer, but their government frowns upon such excesses and waters down their brew, so much so that many hop on a boat every Saturday in Helsingborgs and head to Denmark to import their special brew.

God Lager - from the Nils Oscar brewery - is Sweden's biggest export but will it have the strength to knock out the likes of Hungary’s Arany Arzok’s who Arsene Wenger tried to sign for Arsenal a few seasons ago. Top marks to San Marino for actually bothering to have a brewery despite its size and no marks for Amstel, because, well it’s just Amstel which tasks as if it has been produced in a brewery that is simply called Beer.

Group F
Croatia – Zlatni Medved
Greece - Mykos
Israel – Layla Dirty Blonde Beer
Latvia - Kimmel
Georgia – Argo Dark
Malta – Cisk XS

Croatia may have top billing as seeds in this group but will it come out on top in a group of unknowns. Zlatni Medved or Golden Bear is one of the best reasons to go to Zagreb, along with the stunning women and the football violence – perhaps the three are interlinked in some way? Greece – Euro2004 winners but since then they have bored us rigid on the world football stage and with an offering like Mykos they will need to do so much more to finish above bottom spot.

Now Israel...We could have gone with the Maccabee brand but when you see a beer named after one of the songs and singers of all time you just have to track that down. Eric Clapton and Madonna would be proud of this export beer. Kimmel is the best known brand in Latvia and has been the tipple of choice for all discerning stags for the past few years.

Many a monumental night has been accompanied by strippers and Kimmel and we think the Latvians may be onto a winner here. I typed in Georgia Beers into Google and blow me down it told me that she was a world renowned author of Lesbian fiction. Do we need to look elsewhere for a winner in this group? We do? Bother – ok well let’s try an Argo Dark then.

Finally, Malta, home of one of the most historical pubs in the world – aptly called “The Pub”. It was here that Ollie Read finally fell off his bar stool whilst drinking a Cisk XS 9% pale lager...probably.

Semi-Final 2
Match 62:
Nigeria 2
Oddbinnsa 1, Youngboy-Byrne (O.G) 42
Switzerland 3
Pepperami (pen) 7, Schwigger 50, Yacking 77

The Swiss going storming on, picking off some of the genuine heavyweights of the tournament as they progress. The intoxifying effects of Samichlaus - 'Santa Claus' in German - is by this point quite profound. 'It really has a different affect on the old noggin than anything else,' says Dan. And more to the point, its an effect we all love. Guinness Foreign Extra has had a hugely positive reaction over the course of this tournament, and could well have got through to the final had it faced any of the other semi-finalists... hard lines.

Next time... tune in on Sunday for the Cup of Good Hop Final and 3rd / 4th playoff match and much, much more... cheers, Peter and James

Iberian Derby plus Japan take on the Italians

Firstly, sympathies go out to our American readers after their elimination from WC2010 yesterday. I was drinking a couple of bottles of La Choulette, the French entry to COGH during the game. I hope this didn't in any influence the course of the game... It was going to be Guinness Foreign Export.

'I never touched him ref, honest'

Match 51:

Japan 1
Miyagi 61
Italy 0

The Forza Azzurri bandwagon grinds to a halt, but we've had better taste-offs to be honest. 'There's no way the Italian beer deserves to go any further - it isn't much cop,' says James. 'Agreed,' says Dan, 'and Sapporo would walk any World's Driest Beer competition - if anyone could be bothered to hold one.' Now there's a thought... not really - but nonetheless Japan go marching on to the last eight.

Fabio Capello posting his team sheets earlier today -
apparently John Terry is 8/1 to be first England player to cry if they lose

Dave Henson

One of the cultural highlights of the World Cup for me has been the songs of Dave Henson - he of Vuvuzela Song fame. Have a listen to I'll Be Watching You and At Least We're Better Than France - both made me laugh quite a lot.

England 2006 - 2007 in two words

Match 52:
Portugal 1
Castrol 58
Spain 3

Torrid 35, 40, Biscuits 70 (pen)

A whole different encounter. By this time we're all thoroughly relaxed, but still have sufficient faculty to enjoy the sophisticated flavours in Alhambra Mezquita in all it's 7.2% glory. Slightly sweet and deeper than resentment about Gibraltar. In comparison Sagres is 'respectable holiday beer' and 'alright once in a while but nothing special'. No contest.

Rounding up the Group Stage - Shocks Galore...

Hope these Italian fans kept hold of this coffin - only have to change one colour and wording and its perfect

Match 45:

Portugal 2
Contralto 30, Mandi 72

Brazil 1
Kooka 45+1

An encounter that will fail to live in the memory save for the fact it puts out the Boys from Brazil. 'Sagres is better than average Eurolager,' says James, 'but not much more.' Brahma elicits little praise from our panel - 'there's no Samba party going on with this - pretty dire,' says Stu. At least the Brazilians trouble the scorers at last - but all massively in vain. This will make embarrassing reading for such a great World Cup nation.

A Japanese fan outside the Danish Embassy in Toyko last night

Theballisround

Many interesting insights on the modern game can be found at COGH Executive Beer Taster Stuart Fuller's theballisround blog. Click on the link to find Stu's reminiscences of WC2006.

Match 46:
North Korea 1
Sum-Yung-Boy 25

Ivory Coast 0

The North Koreans chalk up their second victory in poor group. 'Mann's Brown Ale is a bit of a crime against beers,' says Peter - 'that doesn't say much for Tusker does it?' replies Deaks. 'The last of the group games means we can say goodbye to a lot of shit beers,' says Stu, and four tipsy heads nod in agreement. Apart from Nigeria, this completes a sorry showing for African beers overall.

Final Group G Table

		P	W	D	L	F	A	GD	PTS
1	Portugal	3	3	0	0	5	1	4	9
2	North Korea	3	2	0	1	2	1	1	6
3	Brazil	3	0	1	2	1	3	-2	1
4	Ivory Coast	3	0	1	2	0	3	-3	1

COGH Analysis: In a group with no much to recommend it at all, Portugal sweep maximum points as if by default. The North Koreans - with the weakest beer in the competition - can count themselves incredibly lucky to make the next stage. And as for Brazil and the Kenyan / Ivory Coast entries - don't call us...

Free kicks: Had you forgotten how good they are?

Match 47:
Chile 0

Spain 3
Meddle (O.G) 36, Biscuits 51, Torrid 80

Another case of a superior team taking on absolute gack. The lads are still no fans of Chili Beer 'Poo - it stinks,' says Deaks - 'it's probably a ring stinger as well,' adds Peter. Alhambra Mezquita is strong, smooth and lovely, and brushes the South Americans aside as if lazily swatting a fly during a siesta. A taxi is hired for the Chileans without a goal troubling any of their opponents.

Thought for the day

Yesterday here at COGH we hoped there wouldn't be any red cards in today's matches - and Blimey O' Reilly - there weren't any. The performances of Howard Webb and linesman Darren Cann were the best by any Englishmen in WC2010 thus far...

Darren Cann - National Hero

Match 48:
Switzerland 5
Toblerone 1, 4, 70, Tell 40, Youngboy-Byrne 29

Honduras 3
Ponce 16, 55

Every match the Swiss have been involved in has been touched with class - and this was no exception. 'This gives you the most amazing euphoric feeling - it's not like drinking normal beer,' says Peter of the 14% barnstormer that has taken the competition by storm. The Hondurans are certainly no mugs and to get three goals against the mighty Swiss is a performance to be applauded. 'Banana Bread Beer can count themselves very unlucky to be going out at this stage. Would probably win best third place,' says James with an air of regret at seeing them go.

Final Group H Table

		P	W	D	L	F	A	GD	PTS
1	Switzerland	3	3	0	0	14	7	7	9
2	Spain	3	2	0	1	10	7	3	6
3	Honduras	3	1	0	2	7	8	-1	3
4	Chile	3	0	0	3	0	9	-9	0

COGH Analysis: The Swiss go through as top scorers in the competition, as the Spanish claim a well-deserved second spot, and set up an all-Iberian encounter in the Round of 16. The Swiss should have no trouble against the North Koreans. As for Chile, the least said the better, and the Hondurans can go home very proud of the displays they have put together and the friends they've made.

Round of 16 Matches:
A1 France v Argentina B2
B1 Nigeria v Uruguay A2
C1 Slovenia v Germany D2
D1 Australia v USA C2
E1 Japan v Italy F2
F1 Paraguay v Holland E2
G1 Portugal v Spain H2
H1 Switzerland v North Korea G2
(Ties to be played same times as WC2010 equivalents)

Beers 17-22 - here we go, here we go, here we go...

Fully recovered from my brush with the law, I decided to stay closer to home in order to embark on the second half of COGH. A return visit to Trafalgar Wines, Brighton elicited the following purchases:- (n.b. James has bought Netherlands and re-purchased Mexico (Beers 16 & 17), and a post detailing this will doubtless appear in the fullness of time, and the next post will be more arthouse, with pictures of the beers in their natural habitat and exclusive footage where we get up close and personal with the contestants.)

BEER#17 Spain - £2.00

Alhambra Mezquita has an ABV of 7.2% - stacking up yet another COGH beer that is to be treated with maximum respect. Should be a strong contender in the group games.

BEER#18 - Chile - £1.80

The Chileans don't export their beer, and steps will / may be taken to get hold of these rare countries, but in the meantime a little punnery got us as far as Chilli Beer. Ahem... Apologies to purists here - and I doubt it will be the only one during the course of this post.

BEER#19 - USA - £1.99

Apologies to purists for this. Despite appeals to go for a US microbrewery, we've plumbed for Budweiser. Is this an anti-American bias creeping in? Na... it's because this 'can' of Bud has got a picture of the World Cup on it. Sucker.

BEER#20 Slovenia - £2.00

Again, Slovenian beers are like hen's teeth over here, and I've been in enough Eastern European shops lately to be a chicken dentist. Fortunately many UK beers are made with Slovenian hops and Adnams is one such brewer. Broadside is a lovely example of the breed, so I decided to bring it into our kennel of beer. I think that's enough metaphors for now. Could well do better than the actual Slovenian team considering the weak competition in Group C - and no we haven't fixed it. This is scientific don't you know.

Ooh - look at the reflection on that bottle...

BEER#21 - Honduras - £2.40

According to the experts, Honduran beer isn't going on. The man in Trafalgar Wines sadly shook his head and said there hasn't been a World Cup like it - maybe there's a PhD in looking at the best World Cup for COGHing. Maybe not - they'd never get that through the budget cuts. Still, that said, bananas are the top export of Honduras, and I really like Banana Bread Beer. That completes Group G, the second quartet we no longer have to worry about.

BEER#22 - Ivory Coast (again) - £1.79

Bought another bottle of Tusker after Saturday's debacle to represent the highly fancied Ivorians. Yes, my ipod is still dead, and yes - am still fuming about the conduct of the Metropolitan Police on Saturday. Nuff said before I go off on a diatribe...

On a brighter note, we have a new recruit for the latter and most important stages of COGH - the tasting. In a deal reported to be worth approximately ten beers we have enticed top international blogger Danny Last of European Football Weekends. For the uninitiated here he is in multilingual mode:-

Danny will help us record the momentous events and be our illustrious guest taster when the action kicks off in the next couple of weeks. Welcome aboard mate.

Before that happens, we have ten more beers to acquire. Five of these are easy... France, England, Germany, Italy and Denmark (again).

And five fiendish ones... Ghana, Serbia, Cameroon, Slovakia and the dreaded North Korea. Any help / suggestions in rounding up these would be fantastic... In the meantime signing off for now - more than 600 views so far and counting. Thanks for your interest in our noble yet slightly silly quest...

PS