Time To Bring The Funny ...

Well, it's Tuesday again kids. That means it's time for more monologue jokes that are more like Saturday Night Live “Weekend Update” type jokes. I know this is the highlight of your week here in the bloggerhood! And, as always if you read only in Reader you will see a player at the bottom where you can listen if you like. And I hope you like.

And, as usual, I will also post the jokes here for the audio impaired. Although, if you just read the jokes and don't listen to the two and half minute audio, then you're not getting the full effect and kind of missing out. But hey, if you want to miss out, then that's fine with me. I'm cool like that.

1. A New York state alcohol metabolism expert says hangovers get worse as drinkers age and cheap alcohol can lead to more intense morning-after discomfort. After that, he made other shocking revelations like “As people drink more, they have to pee more often.” And, “The more a person drinks, the more likely they are to go home with someone they'll regret going home with in the morning.”

2. Rocker Sammy Hagar says that he was abducted by aliens and they uploaded information from his brain. Yeah, don't do drugs kids. Just. Don't do drugs. See what happens? They're bad.

3. Rush Limbaugh mocked people who use Viagra on his radio show last week. After realizing the irony of that he went all in and mocked fat racists who are also drug addicts.

4. Billionaire investor Warren Buffett see lots of buying opportunities in Japan right now. He says it's good to get in while the markets are still shaky.

5. Congressman Peter King says that after his hearings on the radicalization of Muslims he is now one of the most popular people in the world and could run for Governor or Senator of New York. Charlie Sheen and Donald Trump think King has a bit of an ego problem.

6. Academy of Pediatrics have come out with new child car seat recommendations. They now say you should keep you kid in a car seat until the age of 2 and then in a booster up to the age of 12. Afterwords, you can simply wrap them in bubble wrap to protect them.

7. In further science news, some researchers at the University of Pittsburgh believe that red wine actually helps protect the body from radiation. If this is the case, and if drinking lots of red wine over time helps build up immunity to radiation then they can probably air lift me right down into the middle of the Fukushima Reactor without any protective clothing at all.

Hey-OOOOOOOOOOOOO! Remember to tip your waitress.

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In other entertainment news, I've been telling you for a while that if you weren't listening to “I'm With Stupid” then you were missing out. Well, now I have proof. “I'm With Stupid” has made it's way back onto the first page of the Comedy category on Blog Talk Radio...

Yup, there we are. Ranked 14^th. Not too bad. As you may recall, back in the early days of the show several years months ago, the show hit the top 5 a couple of times. Then, the show fell on hard times and struggled to get past page 3. But, being the Butler University* of the Internet Radio world, Matt-Man and I have kept plugging away and are climbing back towards the top. And we appreciate each and every one of you out there who have been listening and supporting. YOU GUYS ROCK!

*Butler University = Slow, White and Scrappy.