Football Saturday Week 2 ...

When I went to the UofA the football stadium only held around 42,000 people.  It holds around 76,000 now.  It also didn't have lights. That meant that every game played in Fayetteville had to start at 1:30 to make sure it was over before it got dark. The problem with this was that we had to start drinking pretty early and then try to maintain our level of drunkeness all day and into the night if we wanted to hit all the parties after the game.

Well, that's what most people did. Since I never got invited to any of those parties, I got to get drunk for the game, then go back to the dorm, hit dinner in the cafeteria and then take a nap before spending most of the night hanging out downstairs with the other outcasts  playing pool and ping-pong.  I think the thing that bothers me most about this was that I never got any good at either of those games. 

Jesus, what a fucking loser I am was.  I mean, instead of going out with all the cool people and partying and getting laid and all that fun shit, I was hanging out with dudes even lamer than Peter, Michael and Samir playing pool and ping pong and I never got any good at those games.  Damn, this is the most depressing post I've ever written.

Anyway, I went 4-2 last week.  Only Northwestern and LSU let me down.  I'll give Northwestern a pass because, what the hell, they're Northwestern.  But, LSU was pretty freaking annoying.  Yeah, I know that we have relearn that you can never underestimate Les Miles enough every year.  So, I guess I've now been reminded of the fact that nobody can turn a huge lead and easy blowout into a damn near and probably should have, loss better than he can.  Thanks for the reminder asshole.

But, a .667 winning percentage is about the best you can ever hope for anyway.  So, I'll be philosophical about it and and not be greedy or anything like that.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand on to this week's games:

*Disclaimer: I don't know what I'm talking about and have never and will never present myself as any kind of authority on either gambling or the game of football.  So, if you are such a desperate fucking degenerate that you will use the picks of some random, probably intoxicated guy on the blogosphere, then you deserve all the terrible things that happen to you in life.  Enjoy living in your van down by the river and dining on the yummy soup served every evening at the Salvation Army loser.

As always, my pick in bold...

Georgia Tech -12 @ Kansas ... I knew Kansas was going to be bad, but never realized they would be OMG IT'S SO DISGUSTINGLY HIDEOUS I CAN'T STAND TO LOOK AT FOR A SECOND LONGER bad.  And that's bad.

Memphis +13 @ East Carolina ... I don't really know much about East Carolina. Other than they're located in the eastern part of one of the Carolinas.  And they at least have this going for them...


Penn St. +12 @ Alabama ... Penn St has a true freshman starting at QB. I just saw Brent Musburger and others on ESPN tell me how this isn't just any freshman, this kid is special.  Yeah, just like you kept telling us how good Connecticut was last week? Pfffft .. Penn St. has no chance w/ a freshman QB on the road against Bama.

BYU -1 @ Air Force ... I'm riding the BYU train as far as it takes me baby.  I know I've made fun of BYU and Mormons in the past. But, they're suck nice Goddamn people that they keep winning and keep covering just for me!  I swear, I don't deserve their kindness.  Let's a have a party guys.  I'll bring the sodas if you order the pizza.  I know, lights out at 9 pm. 

Michigan +4 @ Notre Dame ... The dream dies early for the Irish.  But, I want you guys to know that this hurts me more than it hurts you.  Yeah, I didn't think you would believe that.

LSU -9.5 @ Vanderbilt ... What that? Was someone saying something about not trusting Les Miles? I HAVE A BAD SHORT TERM MEMORY PROBLEM.

Well, I was going to pick more than six games this week, but just can't find any more that I'm comfortable with.  Again, it seems obvious that Ohio State will pound Miami (Fla) into the dirt and cover the 8.5 points.  In fact, lets include that one .. Here I'll make it official

Miami (Fla) +8.5 @ Ohio St ... Yup, the Buckeyes are gonna stomp these guys. 


But wait! That's not all!  The NFL is back this week!!  So, how 'bout a few NFL picks.

Detroit +6 @ Chicago ... I don't know if Ndamukong Suh is the greatest defensive lineman in last 50 years or not.  But, if he will rip Jay Cutler's head off and drop kick it through the uprights he will have earned my undying love.  And a promise to never even be in the same state with such a scary guy.

Cleveland +3 @ Tampa Bay .. Holy shit, does this game really have to be played?  If you live in Tampa and don't have Direct TV the only thing you can hope for is that the game won't sell out and you won't have to watch the hideous Bucs play. Read a book, watch a movie, go to the beach do something people, don't punish yourself by watching this team play football.

Oh well, at least you have this going for you Tampa...


San Francisco -3 @ Seattle ... If you lived in either of these cities would you really spend a Sunday afternoon inside watching football or would you be out enjoying the amazing scenery around the area?  Or possibly be in a strip club getting lap dances from hot Asian chicks? Seems like there are better options in those cities.

San Diego -4.5 @ Kansas City ... I had something clever and funny to say about this game, but I suddenly thought about KC BBQ and now I'm hungry.

Miami -3 @ Buffalo ... How pissed do you think the Bills are that they have to host the Dolphins opening weekend instead of late in December when it's -59 degrees and there's seventeen feet of snow on the ground?  A lot, I bet.


Okay, so that's it for my picks this week.  Enjoy the games kids.  Hope your favorite team wins.  Well, not yours but everyone else.