Why I'm Still Single ...

Not too long ago someone wrote an article for CNN.com about being single into her 40s.  The article was aimed mostly at women, but much of the same things apply to men.  The gist of the article was that most people assume there’s “something wrong” with anyone who reaches his/her 40s without ever having gotten married.

So, I thought I would list my reasons for not having gotten married yet:

- Prefer the wild and crazy life of a playboy.

- It’s the only way I can fulfill my dream of dying old and alone.

- I would feel guilty about being a dirty old man if I was married.

- I’m opposed to straight marriage.

- Call me weird, but having someone around who points out all my faults everyday doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun.

- I just haven’t found the stripper I want to marry yet.

- How can I decide which blogger I’m going to marry if none of them will send me sexy pics?

- I’m still holding out for Natalie Portman


- I don’t like people messing with my stuff, like moving it around and going through my closets or drawers and shit.

- I haven’t found anyone I want to give half my fortune to.


Okay, so actually I made a little graph that is probably more realistic…