I’m a gambler. I enjoy it a lot. In my own mind I’m a wild, hard-drinking, big money betting gambler who drives a big fancy Cadillac and hangs out at the fanciest casinos with a hawt stripper by my side while I’m playing big money on the blackjack table or in the sports books. Of course in reality I’m a super risk averse better who only plays the games that have the lowest house advantage. But, I prefer to go with that first image of myself for my dreams.
And, I am totally and completely convinced that I could make money off both playing blackjack and betting on sports. I base this on my belief that I could be disciplined enough to leave the table when things aren’t going well and to only bet the games that I absolutely knew I was right about who would cover. The fact that I have this vision of my super-disciplined self while I’m munching away on Nacho Cheese Doritos and throwing back 16 oz cans of Coors Light is completely irrelevant and I would prefer you not ruin for me thankyouverymuch.
Anyway, what brought all this on was my good friend Scott’s hilarious Gonzo-esque post earlier this week about one of his most dramatic gambling experiences. I told him that it reminded me of two great gambling experiences of my own. But, what’s different about my experiences is that I was only an observer for each of these.
Experience #1: When I was in high school my mother and I went out to the local country club that she was still a member of for dinner and for her to sit and talk with some people we were meeting there. That same night Arkansas was playing a basketball game against Nebraska.
The game was very close throughout even though Arkansas had a much better team and was heavily favored. I sat at a table with ST, who was a local business man and watched the game. Late in the game Arkansas pulled away and opened a double digit lead and both ST and I were feeling good about things. Nebraska hit a couple of late baskets and Arkansas committed a couple of turnovers which resulted in the Hogs winning by only 5.
I was still pleased because Arkansas won. ST, on the other hand wasn’t. He got up, slammed his chair back against the table and angrily said “If you can’t cover why bother winning!” Then he stomped out of the room and kicked another chair on his way out. It was then that I realized that he was watching the game for a far different reason than I was.
Experience #2 came in Vegas. I was sitting in the sports book at the old Stardust, which doesn’t exist anymore watching The Chicago Bulls vs NJ Nets. I didn’t have any money on this game, but had won a big bet* earlier in the evening on The Knicks victory over the Milwaukee Bucks. At this point though I was just enjoying the free nachos and beer** and watching the Bulls game.
The Bulls were a 12 point favorite and had a 14 point lead with only a few seconds remaining. The Nets had the ball and seemed to be content to let the clock run out. With one second left a NJ player launched about a 40 foot jump shot. As soon as he shot it about half the people in the sports book jumped to their feet yelling “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO” …
Swish
The Bulls won by 11. Everyone who had yelled “NO” collapsed back into their seats as if they had been waiting for their wife to give berth and had been told the baby didn’t make it. They were destroyed. I’ve never seen such a look of defeat on the face of any man before or since that moment. I felt bad for them.
Poor dumb bastards.
* By “big bet” I mean $20. Which I later placed into a stripper’s g-string after a lap dance. Which turned out to be another winning bet that I made that night.
** This was back in the days when Vegas could do no wrong and before the great financial collapse and recession of the last few years. I think free food and drink at the sports books is impossible to find anymore.
Oh and my worst bet ever? The $110 bet I placed on Arkansas in the 1995 NCAA championship game against UCLA. To this day I’m convinced that I jinxed Arkansas with that bet. YOU GET NO CREDIT FOR THAT WIN UCLA!!
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