So Friday was liquor store day. As you know, I live in a dry county so that means I have to make a run to Missouri to go to the liquor store. That means about 50 mins to an hour total round trip. Not really all that bad, but not as great as just running to the corner and back. Of course, I could go to Quicker Liquors over in Carroll County or to the stores in Marion County, which are closer. But, they are much more expensive too. And the people who work in one of those stores seem like the type who might have been burying customers under the back porch for years.
So, I to Missouri. This means deciding between Rapid Roberts and Wild Bill’s Travel Center. Wild Bills usually has better prices, but Rapid Roberts is MUCH cleaner and has a better selection. There is a really cute woman who works at Wild Bill’s, but I don’t know what hours she works, so I would hate to go there and her not be there. So, I decided on Rapid Roberts.
And it worked out better than I could have dreamed. First, they had the 5 liter Franzia box wine for only 10 bucks! That’s a bargain as it’s usually over $13 around these parts. Second, there was a ridiculously good looking woman there. I mean, crazy fucking hot. Blond hair, sizzling blue eyes, perfect hand-sized firm boobs, an amazing ass and long, long legs.
Coincidentally I got in line at the register behind her. I found waiting in line behind her for a few minutes while she bought two bottles of Boone’s Farm, a carton of Camel Lights and some lottery tickets to be an enjoyable experience. She was making small talk and made a point to turn around and include me in her conversation with the clerk. That was very nice of her to do as a girl as hot as her is under no obligation to talk to ANYONE, let alone someone like me.
So, after she left another clerk came over and he and the one working my register both agreed that her coming in every Friday was more than enough reason to never change their schedules. Then the woman who worked there also came over, but she seemed more sad about that girl buying that booze every Friday.
Personally I was wondering why they didn’t card her. I mean, her ass looked about 19 to me. But, these are professionals, so I assumed they knew what they were doing and better at judging ages than me.
Anyway, according the older woman who works there, this girl lives right here in Redneckville. When I heard her mention that, my penis I became much more interested in this conversation. Then, things really got erect eyebrow raising. The lady said that little miss perfect ass comes through every single Friday and buys the same thing while on her way to Springfield, MO where she stays in a motel room and …
Wait for it ….
Works at one of the strip clubs on Friday and Saturday night!
Suddenly I was reminded of the scene in “Treme” where Davis discovered that there was a stripper living in his neighborhood and he ran into his house and wrote a song about it.
Then I stared wondering if this chick is on Twitter. Maybe @RedneckStripper? Or @MissPerfectAss? I don’t know, but I think we need to follow each other on Twitter and be BEST FRIENDS!
Or maybe she has a blog. “Confessions of a Weekend Stripper?” “Stripping in Redneckville?”
Oh sure, I could just go to Springfield, MO and hit each of the clubs and try to find her. But, that would actually be kinda creepy. I would prefer her to find me on the net and follow me on Twitter. Mostly because I’m much cooler on the internet than I am in real life.
So anyway, that was the big thing that happened to me this weekend. I found out there is actually a stripper living right here in Redneckville who drives up to Springfield, MO every weekend to work. And I’m pretty sure that she and I are going to be BFFs very soon.
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