Last week I included, in one of my posts, something that quite honestly was just uncalled for. It was mean and thoughtless and hurtful. It was just another one of my cheap, desperate attempts at being a Cynical_Bastard and trying to fill space on this bog. And it was totally unwarranted.
So today I apologize to Buddy II for implying that he was “dim.”
Buddy II is a really sweet, caring and loyal dog and he didn’t deserve for me to simply call him “not too bright” just because the WWC word for last week was “bright.”
What? You thought I was going apologize for the Brady post? Pfffffft ... Please.
Anyway, now that I’m on a roll showing everyone how sensitive and thoughtful I am, I thought I would issue a few other apologies that I probably should have done in the past, but haven’t because I haven’t joined any 12-step programs yet.
- Okay, I apologize for that 12-step program crack.
- Back when I was in 7th grade a new girl started school at the semester break. Her name was Betsy and I might have engaged in a little good-natured fun by calling her “Betsy Wetsy.” Obviously I didn’t make this nickname up for her and call her that first. I made it up and told someone else to call her that.
Seriously though, it’s really her own fault. If she hadn’t been so busy ... uh ... developing faster than the other girls and if she hadn’t had those amazing green eyes and long legs I would never have had to pretend that I didn’t think she was hot.
Anyway, sorry about that Wet ..uh .. Betsy.
- While I was in high school I was playing in a golf tournament over in Diamond City, Arkansas. On that course the 1st hole and the 4th hole run side-by-side. I was on the 1st and a person that, well let’s just say that he and I were competing against each other, was over on the 4th. Anyway, that person hit his drive over into the 1st fairway. So I might have driven over his golf ball with my golf cart and smushed the ball it into the ground a bit.
That was kind of unsportsmanlike. So uh, sorry dad.
- When I was a junior at the University of Arkansas, a freshman student came up to me and asked where Geology Dept offices were. So, I sent him to the complete opposite corner of the campus, which meant, he not only had to walk all the way across campus and back to the get to the right place, he had to walk up a very steep hill on the way back.
When I ran into him a couple of weeks later he told me “that wasn’t cool man” and when I asked what he was talking about he reminded me. I then said “Ohhh dude, I thought you were asking about the Geography Dept.” Best part was he bought it.
Sorry about that dude.
- Many years ago I worked for a tooling manufacturing company running some mills and lathes. It was pretty hot and nasty work and I got damn dirty every night. We had this goofy maintenance technician who would take off his glasses and set them on the table and go into the men’s room right before lunch break. So, I would go over and grab his glasses so that I left a greasy fingerprint right in the center of the glasses.
Yeah, that was kind of childish, so I apologize to that dude too. But, you do have to admit that the fact that I was able to do this every single night for 3 freaking weeks before he FINALLY stopped leaving his glasses there was pretty funny.
- To all the strippers who I have told I was a doctor, lawyer, corporate CEO or someone that would make oodles of money, I apologize. Strippers are good decent people and they don’t deserve to have people like me lying to them like that.
Okay, so there are probably a few other things that I have done that I should have apologized for, but can’t seem to think of any right now. But, I tell ya, I feel pretty good about myself today after this. I think I’ve shown all men that it’s okay to say you’re sorry. And I know you guys are all very proud of me too.
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