love me after 12 am

"Reality has become so intolerable,

she said, so bleak, that all I can paint now
are the colors of my dreams."

--Reading Lolita in Tehran

For AP English Comp & Lit, I am reading Reading Lolita in Tehran for my non-fiction outside reading. I am not much of a non-fiction fan but the books we read in AP ENG are pretty much all non-fiction. However, this book is very inspiring and interesting to me. It is writing about the time when Iran was under the Islamic Republic and there were a lot of religious codes to be followed (still happens today). Women were forced to be covered up and to hide their hair. Everyone lived in this totalitarian society. To me, coming from a democratic society and government, this is very astounding. Everyone is dictated on how they are to live day by day, especially women. Women have the worst because they aren't even allowed to be seen with other men if they are not relatives or their husbands. People are able to be stoned in this society. However this book is not much to criticize the soceity (thought you can kind of sense the author's attitude toward this society) but it tells the real story of a woman (college professor) who takes a couple of her female students and they talk bout books. This may seem nothing out of the ordinary but of course it is a totalitarian religious society and many books are banned from being read (especially WESTERN books) like Jane Austen.


FAVORITE QUOTES FROM BOOK (i keep marking pages because i think some of the text is just amazing and inspirational:

" Before the revolution, she could in a sense take pride in her isolation. At the time, she had worn the scarf as a testament to her faith. her decision was a voluntary act. When the revolution [when Islamic Republic took over] forced the scarf on others, her action became meaningless. "

"Throughout, from start to finish, I observe that they have no clear image of themselves; they can only see and shape themselves through other people's eyes--- ironically, the very people they despise. I have underlined love yourself, self-confidence."

For the first time in my life, I am actually reading a book slowly. I usually go through a book in like three or four hours but I've learned to look for more in reading than just finishing and being satisfied. I want to decode the meaning and the theme the author is trying to come across. Yeah, AP ENG is just making me much more of a big nerd. I am only like on page 40, so yeah READ THE BOOK IT IS GOOD!

More music:
To talk about "LOVE ME AFTER 12 AM" by m-flo featuring alex. OMG I LOVE ALEX from CLAZZIQUAI more and more every day. I notice he has been coming out on a lot of Korean variety shows now. Too bad he shines more than m-flo in the song. This is a very cute song. I love any song featured by Alex. The ALEX & JISUN combination last year on their little single was fantastic. I am not sure if it was last year, it made me 2006. But yeah, they made an awesome duet.

So yeah I know why Feist deserves a Grammy haha. She's different but likable. She's like the happy boppy feeling when you eat a lollipop. Haha I am trying to find the right description.

New ANDY. SOLO ANDY. Yeah this is very Shinhwa style but it sounds better because it is just ANDY! I am impressed, that he actually can hold his own to Minwoo. I really like this song because it is so catchy.

and about my day.
So I am thinking of trying for spring musical at school and I went to the workshop with Michelle today. OMG I felt so out of place. I felt like such a nerdy little ASIAN GIRL because Michelle and I and Trisha (well she is in theater so MINUS HER) were the only Asians in there. I NEVER FEEL THAT NERDY. I never really care about that kind of stuff but it kind of ticked me off when everyone was like are you guys twins when they came up to Michelle and I. I was like NOOOO!! I felt that cliquey aura and could feel the stereotypes being labeled on my head. BUT maybe it was just my imagination. Yes I am not much of a theater type or part of that crowd BUT I LOVE MUSICALS and I do like to sing. I was horribly intimidated by the choir singers and the theatrical people in that workshop though. I have no idea how I am going to go through with this but I WILL BE BRAAAAAAAVVVEEEE. I should have just gone out for tech crew. GAWWWWD. I hate singing high notes though and most of the girls' parts were pretty high. I can sing in harmony with others but by myself I WOULD CRACK. I don't want to audition. AUGH. WELL I WILL STICK TO IT AND BE BRAVE AND BE DARING! I WANT TO HAVE FUN and do all those high school things you wish you could have done but never was brave enough to do. YES

Tomorrow I have ACADEMIC DECATHLON. GAWD I really am a nerd but no worries, our team always is the biggest (and coolest) looking group and we always like get like 10th place. HAHA. Our teacher (MOWRER!) is so chill about it and he doesn't really care about winning. We do kind of but not really. I spent more time thinking about what I was going to wear than what my three minute speech should be about. I really love doing the interview part because I love talking to older people and sounding smart and not feeling stupid because I sound smart. When you talk smart to people your own age, they kind of think you are obnoxious or a nerd. Yeah so you just try to dumb yourself down. Sad to say it is true. But of course I never really can do that all the way. I am just too dominant of a speaker to dumb myself down. BUT WHY SHOULD YOU ACT STUPID ANYWAYS?

"IMITATION IS SUICIDE"
-EMERSON

Don't follow others, live the life you want.

---EMPRESS
CK
[ RULER OF FREE WORLD ]

some like it hot.

I really want to watch this movie. I cannot wait until it comes out on clubbox soon. I think An So Hee from Wonder girls (she is the young one) is the cutest thing. I am so jealous of her because she is fifteen and she is so talented. There is a whole bunch of young Korean talent nowadays. I feel so old. Yeah that is weird.









I am also super jealous of Kim Min Hee's gorgeous cheekbones. Looking at the caps of the movies, makes me want to watch the movie more. The movie is called "some like it hot". It revolves around three main characters, a single woman (40s), the oldest daughter (20s), and the youngest daughter (teens) and their romances. It is supposed to be a comedy.
to
Today I was pretty much lazy and stayed home and did nothing. I was super bored. My mom was out and my dad took my sisters with him to do errands. My brother was asleep upstairs, really sick. I was just doing nothing. Sometimes it feels good to do nothing though. So I have been downloading a bunch of new songs and I am really into relaxing vocals and cool beats. Of course that has to mean Humming Urban Stereo and Clazziquai. Clazziquai is probably one of the only artists where I can listen to the WHOLE album over and over and not get tired of it.






So today I did a dumb thing. I spilled juice on my small blanket so I decided to hand wash it since our washer and dryer is on the fritz at the moment. I just soaked it with hot water and scrubbed with soap and let is soak for awhile. So I did that at like 2 pm and then I rememered it around like 9 pm. So I tried to squeeze the water out of the blanket and my arms were freaking sore. Then I called my sister to the bathroom to help me (did i mention I soaked it in the bathroom tub). So we just decided to grab the whole blanket and push against the wall and try to squeeze it by one of us punching it. It kind of worked. I should have just tried to soak the part that just had juice. -___-

So I was reading an article on NY Times online called "Thumbs Race as Japan’s Best Sellers Go Cellular". It turns out that Japanese fanfic writers are now posting their online novels by their cellphones so readers can read it on their phones. That is pretty insane to type a whole story on your phone. Some writers argue degrades real writing and such. "Critics said the dominance of cellphone novels, with their poor literary quality, would hasten the decline of Japanese literature. Whatever their literary talents, cellphone novelists are racking up the kind of sales that most more experienced, traditional novelists can only dream of." I guess it is like the popularity of the online fanfics in Korea that are turned into books. They write with slang and online facial expressions (^__^) and it kind of insults writers who can take years to write books filled with words only. I think the reason fanfics are popular is the content. It appeals to young people (especially the females) because a lot of fanfic contains romantic/comedy plots. I do read online fanfics because to me, they can be like watching a movie or a drama. I probably could choose it over a book but I think there is a quality in books that fanfics don't have. Not to be mean but a lot of fanfics don't have quality. They are just kind of repeats of each other with different names. I am pretty picky when it comes to read fanfics now. But I think that some fanfics do emit that "author sincerity" and can have as much feelings as a book can. Though I think cellphone novels sound pretty scary to write after I read this " A year ago, one of Starts Publishing’s young stars, Chaco, gave up her phone even though she could compose much faster with it by tapping with her thumb. Because of writing on the cellphone, her nail had cut into the flesh and became bloodied,” said Mr. Matsushima of Starts." O____O

I watched the Bring It On marathon on ABC Family today since I had nothing to do. I was excited to see the latest Bring It On. I still think the first on is the best one. The second Bring It On was total crap. The third BIO with Hayden P. was not so bad. The latest one was pretty good too. Though Michael Copon is totally hot and him being a former Power Ranger too is a plus. I think the only thing worthy to watch in all the movies though is the cheering choregraphy. Man I would love to meet a guy cheerleader. That seems pretty cool to me. Though I did like some of their funny sayings in Bring It On 2 like "make like a tom, and CRUISE." That cracked me up bad.

So apparently A Tale of Two Sisters (american version) should be coming out pretty soon. I remember watching the original Korean one and it was scary and creepy and twisted. however I was pretty much hiding behind my pillow the whole time. It was really confusing and my best friend and I had to get some guy online who loved the movie to tell us the whole plot of it before we figured it out. I do want to watch the American version when it comes out because after I saw the pictures of the actresses playing the two sisters (played by Im Soo Young and Moon Geun Young in the Korean original), I think it may be okay but everything depends on the new plot and the directing. The girls playing the two sisters look pretty cute and I love their hair color. Yeah that is totally irrelevant to the movie. I hope it comes out soon. It was orignally supposed to come out January 1st 2008.



THE ORIGINAL


THE REMAKE (girl on right is girl from unfortunate events)


---Christina

no one cares

So I know this is a "boring" issue to talk about but lets talk about Election 2008. I like know probably five people who are my age who actually are into discussing politics and the election candidates. Well it is time to inform my fellow peers. We really should read the newspaper and watch the news.

Iowa Results
Here are the Iowa results for the caucuses. I have no idea what that means but it is like a primary vote for that state.

Republican: Huckabee

Democratic: Obama


The Iowa results are very astounding because the front runners of each party has been Clinton and Romney. Personally, I do not Clinton or Romney. I especially do not like Romney after watching him on the Republican Youtube Debates. He is just not my cup of tea. Romney has already won the caucuses for Wyoming for Republican Party. I am kind of astounded how a Mormon got into the lead. I guess America is ready for certain changes. I believe Obama can bring a better change. I suppose it is wrong to judge presidential candidates by personalities but everyone does though. I don't like how Clinton attacks people so personally and how she is very anti-Republican it seems. Well, we will see how the rest of the caucuses goes. I wonder how California will swing for the Democratic Party. New Hampshire was after Iowa and I do not know the official results but Clinton and Obama are tied 33% right now after seeing the Iowa results. I cannot wait to see who will the candidate seat for each party.

Yesterday I was watching KBS World (korean tv) on Directv and I saw this video. Again it is Clazziquai (I just LOVE them) and I thought this music video was pretty cool. I just love music videos where they put words on it, like the Kanye West "Good Life" mv.





It reminded me of my greatest fear: being alone. However, that fear is not as existent to me anymore. I have a more secure life with friends and family. I do not think I will be alone. I remember my freshman year where I had transferred into my current high school a week after school started. I was very unhappy because I knew practically no one. It was pretty sad and scary to go to a new school especially freshman year. I had like no friends in the beginning. I just attached myself to people I barely knew so I wouldn't be alone. It was just nerve racking to go to the bathroom by yourself because you knew that you had no friends and you would think other people would know that too. I am glad that phase ended because I figured how to make friends. It is better to be a newbie at school during freshman year than later in life. It helped me grow from my insecurities and learn to climb out of my shyness or else I would be forced to have no friends and live a crappy high school life. But I survived. Everyone eventually survives. You just have to learn to pull yourself together and dig yourself out of your hole instead of just stinking in self pity. I made better friends in sophomore year who were pretty outgoing and that rubbed onto myself and it was fun. I am so glad to be out of that crappy phase. I am pretty secure with my own self and I am pretty done with feeling self hatred and being a whiny baby about life. Learning how to be optimistic is much easier to make your life positive. No matter how "cheesy" that sounds, it is true.

--Christina

random inspirations for the day.

i like how christina and i find inspiration off of each other. for instance, she told me that she wrote about faith, after she read my little rant on my vox about tila tequila and bobby breaking up, and she saw how "faithful" i was about it. haha. it's so laaaame. but yes, i am still pretty much disappointed by that. it's heartbreaking for me... well, only just a little.

anyways. today i woke up late again! AHH! but luckily right when i woke up it was time to go to my dentist appointment! so while waiting for my actual appointment when i got there, i was stuck reading their lame cosmopolitan magazines that were all in spanish, and allure-- which i can't say is as interesting as teen vogue. but i kinda stumbled upon some fun health facts about "cheating age."

drinking out of straws, create lines around your mouth, which cause your face to age faster.


sleeping more than the required six to nine hours a night, causes your body to age faster!! (so does being depressed)

"There's a poem that says, 'When i see beauty I know it as truth.' Beauty is being natural. Having real self-esteem. The freshness that comes from good sleep, from excercise, from nutritious living, from being flexible, from enjoying the company of people who are vibrant, youthful, energetic, and fit, and by nurturing compassionate love relationships."
- elizabeth einstein

i am so inspired to be healthy this year.

oh, and then while i was rummaging through the incomprehensible pages of the spanish cosmpolitan magaize i started thinking about ashlee simpson, randomly. and so when i got home i listened to her scratched up "undiscovered" album that viki bought me back in sophomore year for my birthday. and i started feeling nostalgic... because i miss downloading new music :( my computer now is too slow and doesnt have enough room for me to do anything but surf the net. and listening to ck and melanie talk about the new clazziquai album, is pretty sad. haha.

tomorrow is melanie and peter's birthday party. i'm really hoping with all of my hopes, that i will miraculously get to go. this is why.. i need to drive, get a job, and become an official teenage stud with my car and money. oh, new years resolutions... get to work already!

my weird findings for the day (thanks to taylor fong):

- pachia

have a little faith

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." -MLK JR

Earlier today, my mom was watching some old X-Files show. This episode was about this man who had "jerusalem syndrome" where he thought he was the devil and he was searching for this boy who had certain powers. Well it turned out he was being called for by the devil and the boy was like a reincarnation of Jesus. There were two detectives working on the case, one man and one woman. The woman believed that the boy was really "unhuman" and she believed in miracles while the man was not convinced. She said something really great about having faith. Faith is a questionable thing for me. In my heart, I have faith or I think I do. I really want to believe but sometimes I wonder if I really truely do. Things like believing in Santa Claus and ghosts. I hear things and things on tv that move so much to make me want to believe but there is still that little insecurity of doubt. I struggled most about faith when it came to church. Church. That word can be one scary word or one happy word. It means differently for every person. For me, I've been going on and off to church. When I mean off, I mean really off.

--------here's the story of my religious background:
My dad's side of the family is heavily Christian. My mom is heavily Buddhist. It was a spiritual clash from the start. I had gone to church freshman year again and was pretty into it but I started to loose faith when my youth group started to disseminate because we could not find a youth pastor and our teacher was becoming annoying. The only thing that kept me alive during church service and bible study was praise. Praise = singing. It was the only way I felt like I really had a faith in God. For a time, I started to really try to believe in the Bible (though I never really did read it) and God. I still believe in God. But I did not develop that overwhelming passion some kids did. It overwhelmed me. Some of my friends in youth group had such faith and such passion that it scared me. I wish I had that. I wish I could talk to God. I wish I could really believe with all my heart. But I didn't. And it scared me because I felt like it was so wrong not to. I tried praying but I never really grew up with that heavily Christian background that some kids did. My mom did not really support my brother and I going to church. My father was never a church goer. He believes in his spiritual revelation on Sundays by sweating it out on the field with his buddies playing soccer. I just really could not believe all the way through. The way some adults and some kids felt, it was just scary. Some times I was turned off by my teacher's teachings. I was turned off by how blind Christianity could be though I have nothing against it but there were somethings that I could not look over. I was just not ready to surrender my heart and soul to Jesus Christ. I am still young and still unsure about life. But I feel like one day I will be able to believe because I will know enough to believe in miracles far beyond science.

Hope you enjoy the Clazziquai song. I love Clazziquai.



---christina