The Return of the Wordzzle ...

Well I finally got around to doing Wordzzle again. I don't know why, but I just haven't been in the mood to Wordzzle. I really should try to do it earlier in the week rather than wait until Saturday morning. Maybe I'll do that sometime.

Anyway, if you would like to play along our lovely and talented host is Raven. Just go on by and say hello and join in the fun!

The words for this week's ten word challenge were: tattletale, homogeneous, flighty, cornucopia, plethora, militant, lovelorn, myopic, digitalized, mute And for the Mini Challenge: washing machine, cholesterol, blatantly, Birdman of Alcatraz, poltergeist

"How the Mighty Have Fallen" Part Whothehellknows:

Pandora walked into the laundry room as Vader was putting his clothes into the washing machine.

"I've been reading this book about the Birdman of Alcatraz. That guy sure was flightly." she said while elbowing Vader.

"Haha ... Get it? Flighty? Birdman? Ha I crack myself up!"

Vader was only slightly amused as he was busy working on a way of getting rid of Pandora. To him there was a plethora of ways to do this. Oddly enough, simply asking her leave wasn't one of them. His mind just didn't work that way. Not to mention the fact that he was wishing Tiffany had come back to Vegas with them. His lovelorn heart was missing her quite a bit that morning. He was just about to set all the numbers on his digitized washer when he heard Pandora yell out from the kitchen.

"Crud! Alls we have is 1% milk. I prefer that full-flavored homogeneous stuff. I like it with my Fruit Loops because it really brings out a cornicopia of fruity flavors. Well, I guess this stuff helps keep your cholesterol under control huh? Oh well, I'll just eat them dry like I did when I was a kid. Until my little brother told mom, of course. What a little tattletale he was."

Pandora then sat down at the table and began eating her cereal and reading the morning paper while rambling on about how myopic some militant political groups were being and about how she couldn't believe that politicians could just blatantly lie without anyone ever calling them on it. The whole time Vader was sitting on the couch pointing the TV's remote at her pressing the mute button in vain.

Vader turned away from Pandora and turned on the TV hoping it would drown her out a bit. The TV wsa turned to The Movie Channel which was showing "Poltergiest". Vader knew that Pandora loved that movie so he quickly changed the channel to ESPN. As Vader sat there, he began to start thinking more deeply about what to do next. He started making plans about how he was going to deal with Pandora.

Pandora suddenly felt a chill in the air and stopped eating her Fruit Loops. She then began shaking and looked over at Vader in fear while letting out a loud gasp.

Say Hello to My Little Wordzzle....

Once again it’s Wordzzle time kids. And as usual Raven is our gracious and creative host. If you would like to play along, just go on by her place and say hello. Everyone is welcome.

The words for the ten word challenge are: pogo stick, ant farm, psychic, tin box, wall safe, Waterloo, surge protector, pneumonia, ravages of time, turtle

And for the Mini Challenge: Swollen ankles, opera singer, toothy grin, oil paints, potter’s wheel

As usual I’m doing the Mega Wordzzle with all 15 words in my Vader series, which I need to be wrapping up pretty soon.

Down and Out in Vegas: Part A Lot.


Vader left Pandora and Tiffany to their fun in the room and decided instead of going to sleep he would go for a bit of a walk. The hotel was in one of the more colorful areas of town, so he figured he would find some entertainment. But first he was hungry, so finding some food took priority. He couldn’t do too much because he left is ID and credit cards back in the wall safe in the room.

About two blocks down the road Vader came across The Potter’s Wheel and decided a nice bowl of turtle soup was just what he needed to lift his spirits. So he went inside and sat down and ordered a large bowl. He was a bit amused to see that San Francisco is such a tech-loving town that each table had a surge protector on it so people could plug in their laptops. He was wishing he had his after seeing that.

After taking his time to enjoy his comfort food Vader was feeling better about things and was ready to head on out and see what else he could find. As soon as he walked outside he realized that it was considerably cooler than it had been and it was beginning to mist a bit. “I’ll probably catch pneumonia out here, but what the hell,” he said as he turned down towards an area that looked to be having some sort of festival.

The first place he came upon was a psychic who was sitting in what looked like a tin box. She motioned for him to come in and told him she could do a reading for him for only $5. Vader was feeling adventurous so he agreed.

The crazy looking old lady then held Vader’s hands and closed her eyes and began to chant a bit. Then she got quiet. She was breathing deeply when she suddenly spoke.

“You were once a very powerful man. Many people feared you. But, the ravages of time have taken their toll on you. Now people think nothing of insulting you or dismissing you as a pathetic old man.”

Vader wasn’t exactly pleased with what he was hearing, but he didn’t stop her.

“What little power you have left will have to be used wisely. If you try for something too big, it will backfire on you. You must be careful.”

“Well that was a freaking waste,” thought Vader as he walked away and headed towards the Waterloo district. When he got there he couldn’t believe his eyes.

The first person he came across was an opera singer performing for a small crowd. Next was a man who was also singing, but doing so while bouncing along on a pogo stick. Vader laughed when thought about that guy suffering with swollen ankles every night.

Next up was an ant farm. There was a very odd fellow there offering to explain what all the ants were doing, but Vader passed. Next to him was a man working with some oil paints creating masterpieces in between tokes on a joint.

Then Vader heard someone say “Hello there sir” behind him. He turned around was astonished at what he saw. There was a man smiling at him with a toothy grin wearing assless chaps, a black leather vest and a Lone Ranger mask. Vader was speechless and the man just shrugged his shoulders and moved on.

“What a bunch of freaks,” Vader said as he surveyed the scene in front of him. “I love it here.”

I Love The Smell Of Wordzzle In The Morning ...

Yup, it’s Wordzzle time again. As you already know Raven is our gracious host. This week all I did was the next part in the Vader series.

The regular Wordzzle words are: Follow up, buffalo wings, silversmith, furniture, as the crow flies, little red roadster, photograph, pencil pusher, argument, streaking.

The mini-Wordzzle words are: Ireland, mashed potatoes, bookworm, fog horn, T. S. Eliot.

How the Mighty Have Fallen ... Part IX

Pandora was holding a photograph of Tiffany as Vader pulled the Cadillac that he had rented into the parking lot. She was getting a bit nervous now that they were finally there. She tried to keep the conversation light.

“What did her uncle do for a living?” Pandora asked

“He was a pencil pusher for the government.” Responded Vaded quietly.

The tension was getting to Pandora and she finally asked “You guys aren’t going to get into a huge argument right there in front of everybody are you?”

Vader just smiled and said “Well, I’m well known for my self-control and lack of temper. So, it’s unlikely.”

“Well, she sure is beautiful. She looks a lot like Megan Fox. When you told me she was a bookworm who loved T. S. Eliot I really didn’t expect her to be this hot.”

Pandora looked down at her copy of ”As the Crow Flies” that she picked up at the airport gift shop in Vegas to have something to read on the plane and decided to get rid of it. She didn’t want Tiffany thinking she was some dumb blond who read trashy novels.

Just then Vader shut the engine off and she looked up. “Is there where you’re supposed to meet her? And, hey! Is that a real working fog horn over there?” Pandora had never been San Francisco and was already in awe of the beauty of the city and the bay.

“Yup, it works, but they don’t blast it too often. In my follow up email Tiff said we should meet her here and have lunch at Silversmiths. They serve great buffalo wings here. You’ll love it” said Vader as he was getting out of the car.

Pandora wasn’t so sure though. “Maybe I should leave you two alone? I’ll just go over here to the Ikea store and look at furniture. And then I can go to that restaurant over there.” She pointed at Ireland’s Best Pub and Grocery. “Maybe they’ll have mashed potatoes. I always eat mashed potatoes when I’m upset or nervous. They’re good comfort food.”

Vader said he wouldn’t allow that. She would be having lunch with them, besides Tiffany was expecting her and wanted to meet his new friend. It was a lie, of course. Yes, Tiffany knew she was coming, but wasn’t excited at all about it. She knew what Vader was up to. He was hoping that she wouldn’t try anything crazy with Pandora around. But the way he looked at it was that this was as much for Tiffany’s benefit as his. She should feel safer with another person around too. Pandora was essentially each other’s protector without even knowing it.

Just then a little red roadster came streaking into the parking lot. Tiffany got out of the car and looked at Vader and Pandora for a second then smiled. Vader waved at her and she walked up to them gave him a hug. Then she turned to Pandora, smiled and gave her a hug too.

“I’m so happy you came up to see me. It’s wonderful to see you. And to meet you too Pandora!”

Pandora said she was sorry to hear about Tiffany’s uncle and asked if there was anything she could do?

“Thank you” replied Tiffany “but everything is taken care of. The funeral is tomorrow and then mom is flying home right afterwards. I thought I’d stay in town for a while and hoped you guys would too.”

“Sure we can” said Vader before Pandora could say anything.

Tiffany smiled really big and said “Great! We’re gonna have so much fun!”

Here's Looking At You, Wordzzle ...

It’s Wordzzle time again. As usual Raven is our lovely and talented host. You know how this works, we get ten words for the Big Wordzzle and five words for the Mini-Wordzzle. Then if we want to we can combine them all into a Mega Wordzzle.

Big Wordzzle words are Cardboard Box, Liquor Cabinet, Ostrich Feathers, Longitudinal, Hamburger Helper, Partnership, Laundry Detergent, Magnificent, San Francisco, Prognosis

Mini-Wordzzle words are Worst Case Scenario, Marginalia, Water Fountain, Specialized, Fortitude


Here we go with the big Wordzzle...


I knew it! I would recognize the sound of the longitudinal engine in a UPS truck anywhere. They delivered to me a magnificent cardboard box from The “Ostrich Feathers Partnership and Variety Store” in San Francisco. Inside was my order for Tofu and Turkey Hamburger Helper, Save the Earth All-Natural Spring Fresh Laundry Detergent and a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon for my liquor cabinet. The prognosis for this weekends party looks good.


Mini-Wordzzle...

The worst case scenario would be for me to drop my copy of “Specialized Fortitude: How to Stand Up to Internet Trolls” into the water fountain and smear all the marginalia.


And for the Mega I will continue my Vader in Vegas series.

How the Mighty Have Fallen Part VIII
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Part VII


Vader was up early as usual. He exited the bathroom and paused for a moment to look at Pandora as she lay there longitudinally across his bed with her head resting comfortably on his expensive ostrich feather pillow. He decided to just let her sleep, rather than wake her and send her on her way, even though he was ready for her leave. He normally specialized in one night stands, but he wasn’t sure what to do with Pandora.

As Vader walked towards the kitchen he stopped and opened the blinds. The first thing he noticed was that some kids had once again put laundry detergent in the big water fountains in front of the building. He laughed as he thought it took a certain amount of intestinal fortitude for them to keep doing this, what with all the cameras and security around.

Pandora suddenly appeared at the door. “Morning you magnificent man you!” She purred as she stood there naked and smiling at Vader. “Good morning to you too” Vader responded. “If you hungry there might be something in the fridge.”

Pandora walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge and found a container of some leftover Hamburger Helper which she tossed into the microwave and started to heat up. While she did this Vader grabbed some supplies from the liquor cabinet and make a “breakfast margarita” for himself. Pandora said she’d just have Pepsi.

Vader then opened up his laptop to check his email and saw that he had an email from Tiffany.

“My Uncle Ernie is in the hospital in San Francisco and the prognosis isn’t very good. I’m flying out today. I was wondering if you could fly up and meet me there? Maybe we could spend some time together.”

“Hmm ... Very strange. Seems as though something has gone wrong.” He said. “What’s that babe?” asked Pandora. “Oh nothing” Vader said quickly. “Just a little glitch in a business partnership I have with someone from out of town. If she’s not careful she’s gonna end up living in a cardboard box.”

Vader was deep in though when Pandora sat down at the table with him. When he looked up he saw her reading his marginalia that he had written on the pages of his copy of “Worst Case Scenario” and he suddenly realized she was still naked.

“I’ll have to spray that chair down with some Lysol after she leaves” he thought to himself.

Then The Dark Lord suddenly had an idea.

“Have you ever been to San Francisco?”

You Had Me At Wordzzle ....

Wordzzle is hosted by Raven each Week. But, then you probably knew that by now.

This weeks Big Wordzzle words are: Gouged, Symmetrical, Spanish Moss, ATV, Parallel Parking, Luscious, Origami, Amphibian, Turkey, Gravy Train.

And the Mini-Wordzzle words are: Pouring Rain, Mastiff, Church Bells, Wedding Dress, Stock Car Races.


I was going to do a Big Wordzzle, a Mini-Wordzzle and continue my Vader story with the Mega-Wordzzle this week. But, as usual I got all lazy and shit just didn’t get around to it. All I did was the Vader Story. Maybe next week I’ll put out more effort.


How the Mighty Have Fallen Part VII
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI


When Tiffany got to the master bathroom she found several items had been knocked to the floor and her mother in the walk-in shower with the door closed. Tiff pulled the door open with a jerk and saw Mandy shaking and holding her hands over her face.

“WHAT IS IT MOM!?” Tiff asked as she grabbed her mother by the shoulders. “Mom! Tell me what it is!”

A shaking Mandy quietly whispered “a mouse.”

“What?” ... “A ..... a mouse? Is that what you said?”

“yes ... a mouse. It ran right over my feet!” Mandy was almost running in place and shaking her body in disgust as Tiffany began to laugh uncontrollably.

“It was just a mouse. It’s okay. The poor thing has probably died of a heart-attack already.”

“Hello? Is anyone up there?” called Mrs. Edens, the neighbor from across the street. “I heard somebody screaming.” Mrs. Edens had run across the street in the pouring rain along with her Bull Mastiff Bruno to see if anyone needed any help.

“Everything is okay, Mrs. Edens” Tiffany assured the nervous neighbor. “A mouse ran across mom’s feet, that’s all.”

Mrs. Edens’ body shuddered in fear at the thought of that and then said “Well, I was sitting there eating a turkey sammich while watching the stock car races on ESPN 8 “The Ocho” when I heard somebody screaming like white trash at a tent revival* so I thought I better see what was up. Here Mandy why don’t you and I sit down in the kitchen and I’ll get you some sweat tea you poor dear. Of course, I can’t stay too late I have to get up and give my granddaughter Misty parallel parking lessons in the morning.”

Back in Vegas Darth Vader and Pandora Pendergrass had finished dinner and a couple of martinis each and had gone next door into the Amphibian room which was a bar on the right side of the building. The club had a bayou theme with fake spanish moss covering the symmetrical columns on the walls to make it look like an Antebellum Home.

Vader ordered a couple of gravy trains for him and Pandora while she went to the bathroom with some woman wearing a wedding dress. When Pandora returned from the ladies room Vader was leaning against an ATV which was the grand prize for anyone who hits the big jackpot on the slot machines. He watched Pandora while she was checking her voice mail on her cell phone as she left the restroom. He was looking her up and down and admiring her long luscious legs some more. Pandora quickly text messaged her friend Finola back: “met guy. sad sweet type. has balls size of church bells.”

Pandora then walked back over to Vader with a smile on her face. When she got there she took her drink and then showed him a very sexually explicit origami sculpture that she found sitting on the shelf in the ladies room. They both began to laugh and then leaned into each other and started to kiss.

While Tiffany cleaned up the stuff that her mother had knocked off the counter, she saw a small hole where something had gouged an opening in the floorboards under the sink. “I’ll have to close that up” she thought as she picked up her broken container of face cream. Suddenly Tiffany let out a slight hiccup of a scream and dropped the makeup. Tiffany looked down at her hand and felt a strange tingling sensation in her fingers. As she stared at her fingers a sudden realization came over her.

“You sorry bastard. I can’t believe you tried this.”




* I shamelessly swiped that “screaming like white trash at a tent revival” line the brilliant and hilarious two-man play “Red, White and Tuna.”