You Had Me At Wordzzle ....

Wordzzle is hosted by Raven each Week. But, then you probably knew that by now.

This weeks Big Wordzzle words are: Gouged, Symmetrical, Spanish Moss, ATV, Parallel Parking, Luscious, Origami, Amphibian, Turkey, Gravy Train.

And the Mini-Wordzzle words are: Pouring Rain, Mastiff, Church Bells, Wedding Dress, Stock Car Races.


I was going to do a Big Wordzzle, a Mini-Wordzzle and continue my Vader story with the Mega-Wordzzle this week. But, as usual I got all lazy and shit just didn’t get around to it. All I did was the Vader Story. Maybe next week I’ll put out more effort.


How the Mighty Have Fallen Part VII
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI


When Tiffany got to the master bathroom she found several items had been knocked to the floor and her mother in the walk-in shower with the door closed. Tiff pulled the door open with a jerk and saw Mandy shaking and holding her hands over her face.

“WHAT IS IT MOM!?” Tiff asked as she grabbed her mother by the shoulders. “Mom! Tell me what it is!”

A shaking Mandy quietly whispered “a mouse.”

“What?” ... “A ..... a mouse? Is that what you said?”

“yes ... a mouse. It ran right over my feet!” Mandy was almost running in place and shaking her body in disgust as Tiffany began to laugh uncontrollably.

“It was just a mouse. It’s okay. The poor thing has probably died of a heart-attack already.”

“Hello? Is anyone up there?” called Mrs. Edens, the neighbor from across the street. “I heard somebody screaming.” Mrs. Edens had run across the street in the pouring rain along with her Bull Mastiff Bruno to see if anyone needed any help.

“Everything is okay, Mrs. Edens” Tiffany assured the nervous neighbor. “A mouse ran across mom’s feet, that’s all.”

Mrs. Edens’ body shuddered in fear at the thought of that and then said “Well, I was sitting there eating a turkey sammich while watching the stock car races on ESPN 8 “The Ocho” when I heard somebody screaming like white trash at a tent revival* so I thought I better see what was up. Here Mandy why don’t you and I sit down in the kitchen and I’ll get you some sweat tea you poor dear. Of course, I can’t stay too late I have to get up and give my granddaughter Misty parallel parking lessons in the morning.”

Back in Vegas Darth Vader and Pandora Pendergrass had finished dinner and a couple of martinis each and had gone next door into the Amphibian room which was a bar on the right side of the building. The club had a bayou theme with fake spanish moss covering the symmetrical columns on the walls to make it look like an Antebellum Home.

Vader ordered a couple of gravy trains for him and Pandora while she went to the bathroom with some woman wearing a wedding dress. When Pandora returned from the ladies room Vader was leaning against an ATV which was the grand prize for anyone who hits the big jackpot on the slot machines. He watched Pandora while she was checking her voice mail on her cell phone as she left the restroom. He was looking her up and down and admiring her long luscious legs some more. Pandora quickly text messaged her friend Finola back: “met guy. sad sweet type. has balls size of church bells.”

Pandora then walked back over to Vader with a smile on her face. When she got there she took her drink and then showed him a very sexually explicit origami sculpture that she found sitting on the shelf in the ladies room. They both began to laugh and then leaned into each other and started to kiss.

While Tiffany cleaned up the stuff that her mother had knocked off the counter, she saw a small hole where something had gouged an opening in the floorboards under the sink. “I’ll have to close that up” she thought as she picked up her broken container of face cream. Suddenly Tiffany let out a slight hiccup of a scream and dropped the makeup. Tiffany looked down at her hand and felt a strange tingling sensation in her fingers. As she stared at her fingers a sudden realization came over her.

“You sorry bastard. I can’t believe you tried this.”




* I shamelessly swiped that “screaming like white trash at a tent revival” line the brilliant and hilarious two-man play “Red, White and Tuna.”