Kim Kardashian

Well nobody's looking at her face, anyway.

Super Bowl Party Planning ...

So it’s Super Bowl week and I’m sure everyone is pretty excited for the big game.  People are putting the finishing touches on their Super Bowl snacks menus and making their list for the grocery store and liquor stores.  And the hardcore fans are hitting the message boards to talk smack with each other as well as monitoring the Vegas betting lines.

One of the most important things everyone needs is a good Super Bowl party plan. This includes a drinking game and alternative entertainment options.  Organization is the key to a successful Super Bowl experience. 

So, here we go …

Take one drink every time …
1. Someone mentions Hurricane Katrina
2. How the Saints are a big part of New Orleans’ recovery
3. They mentions the earthquake in Haiti
4. They mention that Colts receiver Pierre Garcon is from Haiti
5. They show either Archie or Eli Manning
6. They mention that Peyton Manning was born in New Orleans
7. You hear a player (probably Peyton Manning) cuss on the field
8. Phil Simms gets the rules wrong.
9. Phil Simms calls Jim Nantz “Jeem”
10. They show an ad for erectile dysfunction
11. A player thanks Jesus and acts as if he really thinks Jesus gives a shit who wins a football game.
12. At every mention of Tim Tebow and where he might go in the draft
13. You see Peyton Manning in a commercial
14. They mention that the Colts didn’t go for an undefeated season.
15. The announcers refer to a white receiver as “scrappy” or “competitive” or the compare any white receiver to Wes Welker.

Chug an entire beer if …
1. Any member of The Who trips over his walker on the stage
2. Pete Townshend separates his shoulder doing the windmill
3. Carrie Underwood pulls a Janet Jackson and flashes us during the anthem.
4. Peyton Manning is lying on the ground in pain and his backup is standing over him crying “GET UP! PLEASE GOD, GET UP PEYTON!”


Anytime they show Kim Kardashian take a double shot and mentally imagine yourself spanking that awesome booty of hers.

If Vikings running back Adrian Peterson is there, or they show video of him from the NFC Championship game, fumble your chicken wings.

If they mention Brett Favre toss your friend a beer and have someone intercept it.

If a player makes a routine catch, turns up field and gets a first down before being tackled, then just tosses the ball to the ref and trots back to the huddle without making a big deal about it, start to drink but then stop when you realize this hasn’t happened in the NFL in 20 years!

Best snack food options for the Super Bowl are nachos, pizza, meatball sandwiches, any dip tray from the store, cheese and crackers w/ summer sausage, jalapeno poppers and maybe mini cheeseburgers.  But, don't get too fancy and don't go with anything that can't be handled by someone who has been drinking all day.


And for those of you who don’t care to see The Ancients Who at halftime I recommend you check out Sir Lady Elton GaGa from the Grammys Sunday night.  Or possibly Pink’s performance. 


During every CSI promo, or if any of the stars of the shows are in the stands, put on safety glasses and rubber gloves and create a new alcoholic concoction.

During every NCIS promo women should argue over who is hotter, Gibbs or DiNozzo and the men should argue over Kate or Ziva.  Then, everyone shoot a terrorist three times in the chest and then throw back a shot of tequila.


If you just hate America football and want to ignore the Super Bowl then I have these two reading recommendations for you:

“Cat’s Cradle” by Indy native Kurt Vonnegut Jr…

Or

“A Confederacy of Dunces” by New Orleans native John Kennedy Toole…


Or, if you'd rather watch a movie here are a couple of good choices:

Set in New Orleans:  "A Streetcar Named Desire"


Not set in Indianapolis, but set in Indiana:  "Hoosiers"

Football Wednesday!

The blog league is set! We are ready to go. Here’s the lineup....

Top Division:

1. Deatheaters ................... Me!
2. Amazon Gargoyles ....... Dana
3. The Snarkers ................. WNG
4. Youse Guys ................... Dianne
5. Corky’s Crew ................ Captain Corky
6. The Crushers ................. Karen
7. Oxidents Happen ........... Tali

Bottom Division:

1. New York Rockers ........ Rockdog
2. Bagwine Boners ............ Matt-Man
3. Sin City NE ................... NE*
4. Emmeline’s Harem ....... Emmeline
5. Bronx Bombers ............. Bond
6. The Texas Tamales ....... Kat**
7. ????????? ...................... M***


*NE’s blog is private. Why? I don’t know.
**Kat doesn’t have a blog, but she is on Blogtalk Radio. And she’s cool.
*** M will set up her team whenever she feels like it I guess. ;-)
BTW, my apologies to M for not putting her blog Rumblings and Bumblings on the “Hot Babes” list yesterday. She definitely belongs on THAT list!

Ok, so now it’s time to get busy! I will be sending out an email reminding everyone to rank his/her players and all that cool stuff.

To rank your players simply go to the league page and then click on the “draft” tab.


Then click on “rank players.”


If you want to just use Flea Flicker’s player rankings, just click “save” and you’re ready. If you want to change the rankings up then you can click and drag players or search for them and add them that way.


Again, the live draft is on Thursday August 21, at 7:30 PM CENTRAL. If that doesn’t work out for you the computer will auto pick for you from your player ranking list.

If you do plan on being there for the live draft (and even if you are there you can still do the auto pick by clicking the “away” box or just letting your 1:30 expire without picking and it will pick for you) and plan on picking your team yourself then I HIGHLY recommend you going through a few mock drafts. Just to be sure that you are comfortable with the way the draft works.

The “Mock Draft” tab is on the main page when you log in.



Now, a lot of people think that the pre-season is boring. But, right now is an important time folks. There are a lot of questions that need to be answered like ....

1. Will Peyton Manning’s knee be 100% by the time the season opens.

2. Is it worth it to draft Steven Smith and just bench him during his two game suspension or should you wait and hope that he’s available after week two?

3. Ditto for Brandon Marshall.

4. Is Tony Romo going to be too distracted by Jessica Simpson dancing nekkid for him on webcam to study the playbook?

5. Is Barack Obama Aaron Rodgers ready to lead?

6. Will ESPN set up a special Twitter so they can update us on Brett Favre’s every move?

“6:15 AM Favre’s alarm goes off”
“6:17 AM Brett is having sex with his wife.”
“6:17:30 AM Brett is getting in the shower.”

7. Has Matt Leinart really decided that football is as important to him as knocking up volleyball players and partying with underage chicks?

8. Will Darren McFadden be the stud everyone thinks he will be in Oakland?

9. Will Reggie Bush be so distracted by Kim Kardashian’s ass and the fact that her sister Kourtney is actually the hottest Kardasian, that he doesn’t study the playbook enough?

10. Should I draft the Buccaneers Cheerleaders?


See there are a lots of important things to worry about in pre-season.