Failed pop stars

Failed pop starsFailed pop stars
"American Idol" reject Pia Toscano is in talks to release a new album after being booted from the talent show. Her foray into pop stardom will probably fare better than these non-musical celebs, who couldn't resist attempting a pop career -- often to ear-splitting effect.

Kim Kardashian
Socialite daughter of a fallen football star's celebrity lawyer
Kevin

Spencer Pratt Turned My Lights Out During Earth Hour...

Before we celebrate Earth Hour, I want to wish my very wonderful and lovely friend Warrior_Kat a happy birthday on Monday! Hope it's a great one, even if they are making you work on your birthday. Totally unfair! Anyway, happy birthday babe!

And, of course I want to wish Matt-Man's BFF-OSP Schmoop a very happy birthday too. Hers was on Sunday and she spent it with Matt. So, it was a great day I'm sure.

–

So, did everyone observe Earth Hour over the weekend? You know what Earth Hour is right? Everyone is supposed to turn off their lights and sit there in the dark as some big symbolic act to raise awareness about the environment.

I participated. Well, not by turning out the lights and stuff like that. I observed it in my own way. I turned ON every light in the place. Then I turned on every TV and the washing machine and dryer. Then I cranked up the dishwasher. All of them empty, of course. Oh, and I left the fridge door open for the whole hour too.

Okay, not really. But, I did consider inviting some Amish friends over for the hour so we could all sit around in candlelight and listen to AM radio. I like to make them feel at home when they come over. I make sure there is some butter the women can go outside and churn and stuff like that too.

Honestly, I just don't really get into things like Earth Hour or Earth Day. I'm not in favor of destroying our environment or anything like that. I mean, I don't think companies should be able to pump all their toxic waste and crap into the rivers and streams. I'm all for clean air and clean water. But, I just don't get into silly symbolism that doesn't really amount to anything.

Do I believe there is some kind of climate change going on? Yeah, there probably is. Maybe it's really bad, I don't know. Is it man made, or is it natural? I guess that's the big question. And I don't have the answer to that. What I do know, is that I don't base my opinion on climate change or the environment on my political beliefs. Nothing pisses me off more than someone who says they believe in Global Warming, or don't believe in it, simply because that's what their political party of choice tells them to believe.

Like the people who immediately starting trying to use the disaster in Japan to push against Nuclear Power here in the states. These are the same people who want to stop coal power and even desalinization plants and, well everything that might provide power and water to people. I just don't get it. Just like I don't get all the old rednecks wearing John Deere hats that show up at planning commission hearings complaining that adding sidewalks around town is “giving in to environmental terrorists.” WTH?

I have nothing against the people who did observe Earth Hour though. That's great. If you feel strongly about these things, then I respect that. But, I will say that turning off your lights and then tweeting on your phone or laptop that you were hanging out in the dark observing Earth Hour probably defeats the purpose of Earth Hour.

I tell you what does piss me off though. People who have no respect for our environment at all. Driving around and seeing trash all along the side of the road just infuriates me. Or if you go to virtually any city park and you see all the trash people leave lying around. Here we have trash cans everywhere all around the park and the parking lot. But, you can go by there any day and you'll see McDonald's and other fast food cups, and bags lying around in between the trash cans. People sit there and have lunch in their cars and can't be bothered to get out of the car and throw their trash way. They just toss it out the window. That's just low class.

Anyway, saving energy is great. Finding new energy sources and lessening our dependence on foreign oil and all that is great too. Just quit nagging me about. And quit telling me to turn my lights out for an hour during the Elite Eight NCAA games.

–

In other news I was very saddened Sunday morning to check my unfollowers on Twitter and find that Spencer Pratt had unfollowed me under the cover of darkness like the weasel that he is. It really does hurt my feelings quite a bit. I thought The Spencernator and I were buddies. And he just up and unfollows me like that? *SMH*

But, at least Heidi Montag still follows me on there. Which honestly, is much more important than Spencer

Injury Report, Banana Day and I'm a Big Deal On Twitter...

So here's the blogger injury report...

Matt-Man is still in the hospital as of this writing. He has pneumonia (I think that George W. Bush spelled it "newmonia" in his ecard to Matt). Hopefully he will be getting out of the hospital soon so he can start getting better.

Although he might not want to leave that nurse that looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt. Totally understandable. And why does Matt-Man get Jennifer love Hewitt look-alikes for nurses? You know I would get some crazy psycho chick who thinks Dr. Mengele was a old softy.

Also as of this writing Starr's kidlet is in the hospital. Hope she is doing better and is home fast too.

And, Anndi's Chicklet has been sick all week too. Poor kid! Don't worry though, we have enough good thoughts and prayers for her too.

And Bubblewench's husband was just diagnosed with Testicular Cancer a couple of days ago and will be going in for surgery soon. So, let's take some of those good thoughts and prayers that we were giving to Matt-Man and send them his way. Oh I'm kidding. There's still enough to go around.

And finally condolences go out to Mimi whose father passed away. I'm very sorry for your loss.


So, it's been a bad week here in the bloggerhood. Let's all take care of ourselves and Jesus, go hug someone and tell them to take care of themselves too.

--

Wednesday is Banana Day…

Me at the grocer store this morning: “Man, it’s busy here today.”
Clerk: “It’s Banana Day.”
Me: “What?”
Clerk: “We get a shipment of bananas on Wednesdays. We’re always busy on Wednesday morning. Tuesdays are really slow because everyone figures they’ll just wait another day until we have new bananas.”
Me: “Okay, good to know.”

--

Aaaaaaaaand, apparently I have arrived on the Twitter scene in a big way.

A couple of days ago the one and only Spencer Pratt began following me. Yes, me! And it's really him cause it's a verified account. Well, not long after that, Spencer's beautiful bride, Heidi Montag began following my friend Kim. Needless to say I was more than a little disappointed that Heidi wasn't following me too.

Anyway, on Tuesday Kim tweeted that she needed music recommendations for her long drive to Chicago next month when she moves there. Being the helpful kind of guy I am, I recommended some Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus and pointed out that Heidi Montag had a new single out. You can hear it HERE.

A while later this little bit of magic appeared on Twitter...


That's right bitches. Heidi Montag not only started following me, but she re-tweeted me! This is big. Trust me on this.

Well, I thought it just couldn't get any better than that, but I was wrong. Oh hell yes was I wrong! Check out what I saw about an hour later....


Yup, THE Miley Cyrus replied to me. Now I know that there was a big deal about how Miley quit Twitter, but it's very possible that she has returned and this is her new account. You know Billy Ray was wanting her to return to Twitter. So, I'm just going to believe that it was the REAL Miley that replied to me. She's just sweet enough of a person to do that too.

Oh and then a few minutes later Miley started following me also.

So, I'm now being followed on Twitter by Britney Spears, Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag and Miley Cyrus.

Please don't be jealous. Not everyone can be as cool as me.




Also, the WWC words for next week are "Fair" and "Night Life."

Celebrity Interview ...

Has everyone seen the new John McCain ad where you see glimpses of Brittney and Paris? It is his latest lame ad aimed at telling us how horrible Barack Obama is. Nice respectful campaign your running, John Boy.

Anyway, I’m sure he is in no way trying to do the old “OMG the big scary black guy is coming after all the white chicks” thing. He’s got way too much integrity to do something like that. No, what he’s trying to say (and seriously, if you have to explain your ads how effective can they be) is that Obama’s popularity is purely superficial and he is a person of no substance. Just like Brittney and Paris.

Well, I thought it would be a good time to do a little interview with a couple of John McCain’s biggest supporters. And since they support Johnny Mac, you know they are deep, thoughtful, Christian people.

I’m talking about Heidi and Spencer from The Hills, of course.


Me: “Hi-de Heidi!” haha
Heidi: *stares with a confused look on her face*
Me: “Uh .. Hello Heidi, thanks for being here today”
Heidi: “Yeah whatever. Are you sure your important enough to be interviewing me. I’m a pretty big deal ya know.”
Me: “Yeah, it’s cool. I promise. My blog has a big audience.”
Heidi: *smiles and bounces up and down* “I’m so excited!”

Me: “Hellooooo Spencer .. Spencerino ... Spence .. How are things in Spencylvania?” haha
Spence: “Huh? What are saying dude? I’ve never been to Spencylvania. I live in LA dude.”

Me: “HO-Kay ... anyway, let’s just start the interview whaddaya say?”
Heidi: “Totally”
Spence: “Cool”

Me: “So you guys are both big supporters of John McCain?”
H&S: *stare blankly*

Me: “The guy running for President?”
H&S: “Ohhhh .. haha .. absolutely. He’s cool!”

Me: “Why are you supporting him?”

Heidi: “Well, I support John McCain because he is a ... a ... *shows notes to Spencer*
Spencer: *whispers* “Maverick .. you know, like Tom Cruise in ‘Top Gun?’”
Heidi: “RIGHT! He’s a maverick who is in...de..pen..dent of his party. You know that’s important! I go to a lot of parties and it’s important to remember that the person who throws them is NOT responsible for stupid shit people do.”
Spencer: *Nods in agreement*

Me: “Ok. Anything else?”
Heidi: *looks back down at notes* “Well, he is a decent and honest man who served his country in war. I think he was in that Afghanistan place or something.”
Spencer: “You dummy! We’re not fighting in Afghanistan. It’s Pakistan.

Me: “No, we are fighting in Afghanistan, not Pakistan.”
Spencer: “Really?”
Heidi: “HA! Take that! I was right.”
Me: “Well, not about McCain. He didn’t fight in Afghanistan.”
Spencer: “Right! Cause he’s way to old for that. It was like World War I, right?”
Heidi: “Now who’s the dummy? America didn’t fight in WWI.”
Me: “Umm .. yeah we did actually.”
Heidi: “Really? Did we win?”
Me: “Yes we did.”
Heidi: “Yay!”
Spencer: “U-S-A!”

Me: “Anyway, John McCain fought in Vietnam.”
Heidi: “Huh? Where’s that?”
Spencer: “Oh yea .. you know .. that’s where Tila Tequila is from or her family is or whatever.”
Heidi: “How do you know that about that little slut? Hmm??”
Spencer: “Hey, she has a show on the same network with us. I just thought I should know these things.”
Heidi: “You are so dead.”
Spencer: “What?”

Me: “Ok, lets get back on track here. You support McCain because of his heroism in Vietnam, right?”
Heidi: “Right. Oh yea. He was like kidnapped when we was there.”
Spencer: “He wasn’t ‘kidnapped’ he was taken prisoner.”
Heidi: “Same thing. Anyway, he’s like a real badass too. Got kidnapped and then escaped. And, they’re still trying to kidnap him to this day.”
Spencer: “What?”
Heidi: “Didn’t you see that when he was in like Iraq and he was out in public and they had him covered in armor from head to toe. And they had like 100 Marines surrounding him and tanks and helicopters. Those people that he escaped from are still pissed apparently.”
Spencer: “That’s seriously badass there!”
Heidi: “Totally!”

Me: “Right. Well, are there any other reasons why you support McCain?”
Heidi: “No I think we about covered it.”
Spencer: *nods in agreement*

Me: “Okay then. Thanks for your time”
Heidi: “Oh no problem whatsovever. Hey, did you bring a camera? I thought maybe you would want some pics for your blog. I’m pretty popular you know. But, nothing too risqué. I’m totally a Christian and good girl who is totally a better person than LC and Audrina.”


Spencer: *rolls eyes*
Heidi: “What? Oh why don’t you just go find your little Vietnamette chick.”
Spencer: “It’s Vietnamese you idiot.”
Heidi “Whatever. She’s not a real American so nobody cares.”
Spencer: “Yeah, well I bet she can find Vietnam on a map.”
Heidi: “So what? She’s short and I’m a tall blonde with great boobs.”
Spencer: “Yeah, fake boobs. Which you just got so you could be on more gossip sites”
Heidi: “Like you haven’t enjoyed these? Please!”

Spencer: “Oh like you got those for ME! HA!”
Heidi: “Hey I do everything for us. My fame is what keeps us going dude. You know, come to think of your kind of like John McCain.”
Spencer: “A badass who would kick ass in war?”
Heidi: “No. You’re a pussy who could sign up and go now, but won’t.”
Spencer: “Yeah, well I don’t see you signing up.”
Heidi: “They don’t allow girls dummy.”
Spencer: “Whatever.”
Heidi: “Anyway, you’re like John McCain cause he was like nothing much until he dumped his first wife, the cripple, and married a hot chick who had tons of money. See, we’re kind of the same. You’re a nobody who is only a celebrity because your with me and my talent and hotness is what accounts for our fame.”
Spencer: “Yeah, whatever. Your ‘fame’ is pretty much a load of crap.
Everybody loves L.C. way more than you.”

Heidi: “Oh that’s it! You can just stay home when I go to the beach today and you won’t be in any of my gossip pics.”
Spencer: “Yeah, well they’ll all just be like ‘Where’s Spencer? Why isn’t he here?’”
Heidi: “OMG! That’s brilliant!”
Spencer: “What?”
Heidi: “They’ll think we broke up! They’ll be talking about us for weeks! We’ll both be like ‘No comment’ and stuff like that.”
Spencer: “That’s brilliant babe! I love it. Have fun at the beach!”

Me: “Well I’ll be going now. Thanks for the interview.”
Heidi: “Huh? Oh sure whatever. Be sure make to me look hot. Mention my perfect body at some point okay? And how much better of an actress I am than Lauren Conrad. I notice SHE wasn’t invited for any interviews.”
Spencer: “Yeah, it was fun dude!”


Well, there you have it folks. An interview with a couple of John McCain’s smartest and most accomplished supporters. I can see why he used a couple of really vapid, self-absorbed people like Britney and Paris to compare Obama to. Having supporters like Heidi and Spencer is part of what makes McCain so superior.