Four - Two

Yeah, it’s my birthday.  Well, Sunday is my birthday, but I thought I would put this up since I haven’t posted in like five years.  Okay, so it’s been five days, but that’s pretty much the same as five blog years. 

I don’t have anything really deep or insightful to post about my birthday.  Forty-two is a pretty boring age.  Nothing spectacular going on.  It’s a long ways until the next significant birthday which is … gasp! … FIFTY!

No, forty-two is just another routine angry, bitter age.  Just a bacon bit on the birthday salad bar.  It’s a completely insignificant age.  It only exists to remind me that I’m now two years past forty and still completely and totally unaccomplished.  Just another year past what was probably the half-way point.  Not only have I lived more years than I have left to live, but that “have left to live” number has just gotten smaller again. 

But, there’s nothing that can be done about it I guess.  Can’t stop time from marching on.  So I guess I’ll just have to accept it.

My plans for my birthday are pretty much as unremarkable as the age of fort-two itself.  I’ll just be snorting Oxy Contin and banging underage hookers like I do every Sunday night hanging out on Twitter as usual.  And probably watch a Gossip Girl marathon online something manly like an NBA game or four.  I will be going to Walmart to pick up a birthday cake.  As you know, my lent agreement with Jesus allows for me to take my birthday off.  So, that will work out pretty good.

Also, my sister and brother in law will be in town for a while Sunday night.  Not sure when they are getting here.  They’re basically just passing through and only staying the night.  But, it will be nice to see them even for a little bit.  They’re leaving for Scotland on the 10th.  Luckily I’m not jealous at all about that.

Oh, I do have a plan for one thing on my birthday though.  I’m going to be Tweeting celebrities all day telling them that it’s my birthday and trying to get them to wish me a happy birthday.  I’ll let you know how that works out. 

Which reminds me.  Neither Anna Sidorova nor Ludmila Privivkova have added me as a friend on Facebook yet.  This is deeply hurtful.  I’m trying to stay positive on this front, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to do.  So, if there is anyone out there, maybe in Russia, who happens to know either Anna or Ludmila, would you please ask them to go ahead and accept my friend request?  I would appreciate it greatly.  That would be a pretty awesome birthday present right there. 

If you can’t accomplish that you could just stuff Alessandra Torresani in a box and FedEx her to me…


Don’t forget to poke some holes in the box though. 


Also thanks to Matt-Man for his very hot and sexy disturbing happy birthday video.

And to Vinny Bond for the naked birthday chick.

And to Desert Songbird and Micky-T for their birthday shout-outs. 

Olympics, Tsunamis and Gaddafi ...

So the Olympics are over. I have to say I rather enjoyed them. I think that what made them much more enjoyable this time was Twitter. Enjoying the Milftastic hotness of the American Women's Curling team with Doc, the hockey excitement with Vinny and the fun back and forth with the hot and sexy Canadian babe, Anndi has definitely added to the Olympic experience for me. Not to mention the raging debate we had, along with Mrs D and Dana over Canada's women's hockey team's celebrating with champagne, beer and cigars on ice after their gold medal win. (I didn't see what the big deal was, others disagreed)

Well, I actually only watched curling, hockey and Apollo Ohno. And a little bit of the ice skating. Some of those skaters are hotties, ya know.

Anyway, Team USA set an all-time medals record with 37. As of my writing this, the men's hockey team is guaranteed of a medal. Either silver or gold as they are about to play Canada in the gold medal game. Whatever happens this afternoon, getting to the gold medal game and beating Canada once was a great achievement for this team. They're the youngest team in the tournament and NOBODY thought they would make it this far. So, those of you out there who know nothing about hockey who will probably be trashing Team USA if they lose. Stuff it.

Speaking of people who can fuck off. There are some people out there, mostly dumb ass American sports writers and American political columnists who hate sports and America, who are saying a lot of stupid things. Well, and a few people in other countries who are a little bitter. Mostly they are trying to find a way to diminish the accomplishments of Team USA.

As I mentioned we ("we" as in America) won 37 medals. That bests the previous record of 36 won by Germany in '06. A lot of people are coming up with all kinds of excuses and formulas to claim that the 37 medals don't really matter or isn't impressive. They making the claim that our population and the fact that there are so many more events than there used to be and making some vague reference to "American money" (as if we have any of that left in this country) to claim that we didn't really have some unfair advantage of somekind.

That's bullshit.

The Americans who qualified for the Olympics and won medals worked just as hard and sacrificed just as much as the athletes from other countries. For American media types and bitter losers from other countries to come up with stupid shit like this to try to minimize the accomplishments of these men and women is insulting and straight up America bashing. Go back to applying your guilty white liberal crap to politics and race discussions douche bags.

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Like many people I spent much of Saturday afternoon watching Tsumani Death Watch '10™. Unfortunately Luckily the tsunami that hit the Hawaiian Islands didn't have much punch to it by the time it got there. So, afterwords I got to thinking about all the close calls we've had over the last few years. Things that could have brought great death and destruction and caused entire civilizations to collapse into chaos and anarchy.

Basically we've dodged some serious bullets like....

- The Evil Empire
- Killer bees
- Y2K
- West Nile Virus
- SARS
- Avian Flu
- Bacon Flu
- Jay Leno in Prime Time.

And now the tsunami that was supposed to drown Hawaii.

But, I tell ya what. Just like I say after every one of these scares. It was just another dress rehearsal for the real thing. Cause folks, one of these days our luck is gonna run out and one of these "threats" is going to be real. I hope we'll be ready. Mostly I hope we can overcome the way our media will melt down and be of no real use to us.

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Oh yea, one more Olympic note. I have sent Russian curlers Anna Sidorova and Ludmila Privivkova friend requests on Facebook.


I'm sure that they have just been way too busy being hot as hell with the Olympics to have a chance to check their Facebooks. Now that the Olympics are over, I fully expect them to approve my request soon. I'll keep you updated on this as I'm sure you're very interested.

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And finally Matt-Man's old friend and bat-shit crazy attention whore Colonel Muammar Gaddafi is back in the news. This time he is calling for a Jihad against .... Switzerland.

No really ...... Switzerland!

I guess Gaddafi has just finally had enough of fondue and precision timing instruments. I can't say that I blame him. I think it's time that the Swiss and their direct democracy got knocked off their high horse too. Good call M-Gad.